Free or paid online dating apps? Do I really have to pay to find matches? Is it worth it?
If you’ve ever asked any of these questions or ones like it, you’ve come to the right place. The idea of free options sounds amazing. But is that only in theory? Is there a degradation in quality that makes paying a few bucks for a subscription worth it?
In this guide, we’re going to settle the debate. We’ll look at both options from a non-biased point of view, show you the pros and cons of each, and ultimately give you our opinion on what is best for you to achieve your goal of finding love.
The Allure of Free – Why It May Be Deceiving
Here’s a meme we made that should serve as some foreshadowing about why the allure of free when it comes to dating apps may not be all that it’s cracked up to be.
Memes, aside, though…we totally get it. If you can get something for free, you should always take it. Right?
Okay, not everything. But, it’s certainly the case when it comes to online dating or dating of any kind. Dating is expensive. It costs money to take people out for dinner, drinks, or coffee. It costs money to get yourself all dolled up or spiffed out for a night out. It takes time (and your time is money) away from work and other things to focus on dating.
And on top of all that you have to pay even to get the dates to then pay MORE money? Trust us; we get the allure of free. While it may seem like a no-brainer to jump on the free bandwagon, we want to suggest pumping your brakes first.
The cliché phrase “you get what you pay for” could not be truer when it comes to online dating.
In the next few sections, we’re going to dive into this and walk you through a few reasons why you may want to shy away from the allure of free. It may sound like a good idea now, but it could be costlier in the long-run, both financially and emotionally.
Security Comes at a Price
While there are a lot of dangers when it comes to online dating, there are a lot of great things that apps can do to keep you safe. We want to share a few examples and then make our point. Great apps will:
- Manually screen members to make sure they’re real people
- Build technological hurdles that can only be jumped by real people
- Provide educational resources to members to make sure they know how to keep themselves safe
- Have adequate customer support available to handle any problems that might come about
What do all of these great (and necessary) things have in common? They cost money.
For example, according to the Harvard Business Review, a customer support interaction (even an email) between a business and a customer will cost the business around $7. If you have a dating app with 10 million members (which is on the low end of some of the bigger apps) and even 0.01% of people reach out for help during any given day, that’s $7,000 per day. And if you think about it, 0.01% is probably way below the reality.
And if a website is completely free, the amount of money they have to spend on these things is severely limited. The result is that you pay less to be a part of the app, but you’re a lot less safe.
There are more scammers, more fake accounts, and less remedies to help you out when something goes wrong.
Pay Walls Can Serve As The Perfect Quality Filter
Have you ever gone on a date with someone that has been recommended by a friend? For most of you, you can probably say that at the very least that date was not as bad as some of the other random ones you’ve gone on.
Why? Well, it’s because your friend had already pre-screened the person before they recommended them to you. Your friend (hopefully) acted as a filter to make sure that the person wasn’t a complete bum or a danger to you. Our friends aren’t always perfect, but even them trying does help.
Paid Dating Apps Do the Same Thing
Using a paid online dating app is a lot like this. There are more hoops for people to jump through to become a member. There are more in-depth onboarding steps that take a longer time commitment. And the mere fact of having to pay to be a member means that most scammers and people who aren’t committed to the process are going to shy away and opt for one of the free options.
There is a natural phenomena (maybe we’re making it sound cooler than it is) that people are less likely to take something free seriously. There’s even the concept of prestige pricing where people think that the more expensive something is, the better it’s going to be.
With free apps, you tend to end up with a lot of people that don’t really care about the process because they have nothing invested. As you can probably guess, this is not going to be great for you.
Secondly, and this comes with a heavy disclaimer, when someone pays to join a dating app, they are letting you know that they have some disposable income that they are willing to dedicate to the process. This means that they most likely are employed or are on some level financially sound. It also means that they are willing to commit to the process. This means fewer flakes and ultimately more success for you.
The heavy disclaimer here is that just because someone doesn’t have the financial resources to commit to a dating app doesn’t mean they’re a lower quality person.
This filter is not perfect, but it definitely increases your likelihood of success A LOT. The good news too is we aren’t talking about a massive financial investment here. Some dating apps you can join for under $10 a month. Here’s a list of the pricing for a lot of the major online dating sites in case you’re curious about what type of money we’re talking about here.
Look at it as an Investment In Yourself
When you are putting money into an online dating app, you are investing in yourself. You have to think about what you’re looking for here. You’re looking for someone to spend time with, someone that you’re possibly going to be intimate with, someone that you might let around your kids, or even someone you might want to spend the rest of your life with.
We’re not trying to make you scared of online dating, but we do want you to realize that you’re looking for someone who is going to play some sort of important role in your life. If that’s not worth a few bucks a month to you, then again, you might want to rethink some things before you go and put yourself out there.
You should always be looking for ways to invest in yourself, and that doesn’t stop when it comes to your love life. Whether you’re looking for something casual or are looking for someone to grow old with, you need to be willing to do what is necessary to ensure the best, quickest, and most meaningful results.
Our Final Answer
While we always love a freebie, we know that sometimes free dating apps can end up costing you more money, time, and emotional toll in the long run. If you choose a free app and end up with someone terrible, not only are you going to waste time, but you’re going to waste money and emotional effort on that person that they don’t deserve.
Are we saying that using a paid online dating site will fix all of that? Of course, we aren’t. What we are saying, though, is that it will decrease your odds of having a terrible experience and increase your odds of finding the special someone you are looking for.
With some things in life, it makes sense to try things out for free first. Online dating is one of those, BUT you have to pay attention here. Trying out a paid dating site for free before you pay for it is much different than trying out a free dating site first. When you try out a paid dating site for free, you’re seeing all the matches and people that have shown their commitment to the process and have gone through that initial filter.
So our bottom line final answer is this…Free dating apps are sadly going to leave you always wanting more and wishing that you had spent the few bucks before you got started. Paid dating apps should be viewed as an important investment in yourself. And to be as brutally honest as possible (only because we love you), if you’re not willing or ready to invest a few bucks a month into finding that special someone, you might not be ready to get out there yet.
If you are though, we highly recommend that you spend your money wisely and don’t overspend on an overpriced dating site that isn’t going to give you the experience you want or deserve. To help you out on your search, we’ve put together a list of our top online dating sit
A Note About Affordability
Doubling down on our disclaimer from earlier, we did want to close with this. If you’re not in a financial position where you can invest in an online dating app, it does not mean there is anything wrong with you or that you are somehow deserving of a lower quality experience. If you genuinely don’t have the funds and aren’t able to save up for it, you can always try a free dating app, but make sure to take some time educating yourself on proper online dating safety as more of the onus will fall on you.
Here are a few resources that can help:
- Protecting Your Personal Information
- How to Verify an Online Date is a Real Person
- The Safest Dating Apps (Most of these are paid, but there is a lot of extra information to help you know what to look for to stay safe)
A Simple Comparison Infographic
And lastly, for our visual folks out there, here’s a quick infographic we put together highlighting the biggest pros and cons of free vs. paid dating apps.
