Who Should Make Anniversary Plans?

It’s that ever present couples struggle: how do you decide who does what in a relationship? Whether or not you pay attention to “traditional” gender roles, there’s usually one person in a couple who’s simply better at planning things like birthday parties and anniversary celebrations.

Who Should Make Anniversary Plans?

But should that person have to plan everything, even if they’re better at it? And for an event like an anniversary, where you’re celebrating your time together as a couple, is it really fair to make one person do all the work? Sometimes the work behind having fun can seem exhausting, but it can pay off in the end. Let’s run through some options for making the most of your special day.

One of the two of you may be super Type A, meaning they’re well organized, high energy, and great at executing plans. And for some Type A people, sitting back and letting someone else make the plans may be hard to do—especially for a Type A who thinks that they can do the best job of putting together a great anniversary plan.

Why force it? If one of you is a great planner who absolutely loves doing it, let that person take the wheel! They may love the thrill of a big challenge like pulling off a special celebration just for the two of you. Why deny them the pleasure of what they love doing most? Let the planning itself become part of the celebration!

This doesn’t mean you can’t have input. Feel free to let the person planning know likes and dislikes. If you’ve been a couple long enough they probably know them already, but for a Type A person, it’s easy to go on autopilot, so it’s okay to help them ground themselves with a reminder that this is an opportunity for the two of you to celebrate together.

That said, one of the best ways to show you care is to shoulder some of the burden that your partner usually does. If your significant other is the one that usually does the heavy lifting in your social life, switching things up for your anniversary could be the best gift you could give. Pamper your partner and take a big task off their hands.

While they might have done things differently, your planning will definitely be appreciated—even if it’s only the thought that counts. Really, though, while your partner may be an A-Plus planner, don’t be intimidated. You can definitely give them an experience they’ll cherish, and they’ll be impressed and touched by the gesture.

Again, simply asking what they’d like to do is the best jumping off point for a successful anniversary celebration, no matter who plans it. If they’re super high energy, they may really want to spend your anniversary jet skiing or sky diving. If you’re comfortable with it, go for it. If not…well, that’s a tough one, but there’s probably some balance you can find. Let them sky dive and meet them with flowers and a bottle of wine when they land.

Definitely do remember that this is a celebration for both of you, so you should make sure the activities involved or the gifts you give each other reflect both your feelings for each other and what you enjoy most. The celebration is about both of you!

Why not work together to make your anniversary celebration the best it can be? You both know each others’ likes and dislikes well, so it’s totally possible for the two of you to split the duties evenly between you. If you’re going on a trip, one of you could book the restaurants while the other one picks the hotel.

There are plenty of ways to split these up—don’t think of them as chores or duties, just think of them as both of you working toward a shared goal of making your anniversary the best it can be. If things get awkward or tense while you plan, each of you should take a step back and remind yourself that this is a celebration of your love for one another.

You’ve likely been through tougher challenges than planning a dinner or vacation, so make sure to remind yourselves of that as the process moves forward.

While one or both of you could try putting together a trip piece by piece, you could also consider hiring a professional to plan parts—or all!—of your anniversary. Whether it’s a party, a trip, or just a nice dinner, there are people who specialize exclusively in making memorable moments.

Not only does that mean that you and your partner can completely relax about planning altogether, but it also means that you’ve got a specialist on board who can think of the little extras that you may never even have considered! Someone with the right contacts might be able to get you into spots more exclusive than you could have managed on your own, or might have tips for ramping up an experience.

If you go with a pro, ask for references. Stock photos and slick social media can make anyone look like they know what they’re doing, but being a good marketer isn’t the same as being a good event planner. Feel free to ask questions, and go with your gut if the price doesn’t seem right. Talented people should definitely be paid well for their work—especially if you don’t want to be the one to do it—but asking to see proof of prior success is completely within your rights as you seek someone to help you pull off the anniversary celebration of your dreams.

However you go about it, enjoy yourself! You’re celebrating the person you love. Creating unnecessary stress is the worst way to remember your special day. No matter how big or small the celebration, it’s about making the most of the moment. Enjoy it!

If you plan to plan on your own, awesome! We believe in you. And we believe in you so much that we want to share our most amazing free resource with you. Our guide on How to Plan an Anniversary Celebration is the number one guide to walk you through every step or the process, every nuance, and every little detail to make the perfect event!

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Author: Matt Seymour, MSF

Matthew J. Seymour is a dating industry expert with over a decade of experience coaching singles, reviewing dating apps, and analyzing trends within the industry. Matt is a published author with his most recent work “Get More Dates: How to Master Online Dating Apps” that hit shelves in 2023. With a Masters of Science in Finance (MSF) degree from the University of Florida and extensive knowledge of the innerworkings of the online dating industry, Matt frequently serves in an advisory role to some of the largest dating apps on the market. In Matt’s current role with Healthy Framework, he leads the interview team that regularly interviews key dating industry leaders, and leverages his financial knowledge and dating app experience to review and share what singles need to know to get the most out of dating online.