Online dating can get monotonous. It can feel like you’re looking at the same profiles over and over again. People posing with wild animals, people with kitten filter profile pics. People holding up giant fish. People who think a group photo where they’re unrecognizable is putting their best foot forward.
After a time, you may be so exhausted that you feel like pulling your profile from the site. That’s definitely an option. But maybe it’s just time for a change. Let’s run down the timeline of online dating and come up with a realistic timeline for changing dating apps.
First, Be Willing To Give An App A Real Shot
Imagine if you could meet the love of your life and be sure you’d live happily ever after in less than a day. Amazing, right? Also one thousand percent unlikely. Anything that’s worth doing is worth doing well. That means putting in time and effort into making a quality profile, seeking out profiles that interest you, and crafting that perfect first getting to know you message.
Knowing you’re giving it your all is the best way to trust your gut when you start to wonder if a dating app is really worth your time. Dating shouldn’t feel like work, but without putting in some time and energy, you’ll never really be sure if the app wasn’t for you or if you just didn’t make the most of it.
Is the App What You Expected?
There are some times when you should dip immediately, however. For example, if the dating app you’re using is recommending singles that don’t square with the preferences you’ve entered—for example, they’re a decade older than your maximum choice or you’ve indicated you’re devoutly religious and you’re consistently being sent secular matches—it’s probably not worth waiting it out to see if things improve. You may be getting bad matches simply because the type you’re looking for doesn’t favor that particular app. If you’ve given it a fair shot and the app truly isn’t what you expected, it’s totally fine to move on.
Wait Out Your Subscription
Whether your app has a mandatory subscription fee, or you’ve just opted into premium features that make the service easier to use, consider holding off on deleting your profile. If the money’s already been spent, there’s no harm in running out the clock. You’re not obligated to check back in every ten minutes, but who knows? It can’t hurt to make the most out of your investment. Just be sure to close the account close enough to the end of the subscription period to avoid being charged.
Compare and Contrast
Keep in mind that there’s nothing stopping you from trying out more than one dating app at a time. It might feel like it’s a lot of extra effort to create multiple profiles, but you’ll find enough overlap in the way profiles are set up that the process will go faster than you think. Using the same photos is fine, but the text may be a little trickier.
You may feel tempted to cut and paste your answers into multiple profiles. There are pros and cons to duplicating answers. You’re not the only dater using multiple apps, so if you’re looking for serious dating, you definitely want to make sure you’re providing a consistent image on each site.
If you’re seeking something long-term but you’re also open to something much shorter term in between, you’re setting yourself up for trouble. If someone else is using the same two sites you are and you look like the marrying kind on one site and a player on the other, you’ll seem insincere, even if that’s not the case.
However, completely identical profiles across multiple sites also runs the risk of looking like you’re playing the odds. In truth, you are, but again: you need to do the work. If you can vary your answers slightly, you’ll come across as a little more on the level.
Are You Enjoying Yourself?
When you’re trying to decide if you want to stick with a dating app, don’t forget the most basic question: are you having fun? Do you like using the app? Does it have the features you want, and are you finding profiles that make you want to craft an appealing message to a possible new date? Does it make you feel hopeful and excited about meeting someone new, possibly even for the long haul? If not, you’ve got your answer right there. It’s time to switch apps.
Remember to Cancel Any Autorenewals
When the time comes to swap apps, make sure you completely close out your profile. That doesn’t just mean signing out and deleting your information. It also means turning off autorenewal for any subscriptions you may have set up.
There’s nothing worse than an unexpected charge on your credit card months after you’ve stopped using an app. While some companies may be sympathetic and refund you if you forget, some won’t. Check your settings or put on a calendar reminder if needed.
You Can Go Back Whenever You Want
Having second thoughts after leaving an app? Good news! Nothing is permanent. Feel free to re-open your account. If you’re worried about having to start your profile from scratch, there’s no harm in copying your text and photos into a file in case you need them later.
It’s likely to take some trial and error to find the dating app that works for you. Don’t worry too much. It’s all part of the process. Give yourself some time and try out your options. Treat finding a dating app like you’d treat dating. Get to know it, find out what it’s all about, and move on if you’re just not feeling it.