When should you follow up after a first date?

Vulnerability is a tough place for some of us to be in, and no one likes to feel rejected. When to communicate and follow up with someone following that first, second, and even third date should not be rocket science.

Men and women operate differently. We think differently about nearly everything. Men are more apt to play it cool and hang back and not seem to eager. While women sometimes want to send their online dating cutie a quick text immediately after the date ends to let them know how much fun they had. Are there rules about when you should follow up with someone following your date? Read on to find out more.

Read: How Long Between First and Second Dates

Should You Make the First Move?

It really doesn’t matter who makes the first move, it only matters that someone moves. Don’t play games and wait until the other person sends you a text message or calls you to see where their interests lie. The rule of thumb is simply this, if you feel like reaching out to them, then you should.

There are no unspoken rules here. You don’t need to wait a certain number of days before you can follow-up after a date. If you want to send them a text the next morning, then just do it. If you want to send them a quick message to let them know you got home safely after their date, and you had a great time, then go for it. Whatever you feel is right, then go with that. You can make the first move.

Is It Okay to Send Emojis?

Emojis are a fun way to get your flirt on with a new crush. Send them a smiley face or a wink here and there, but remember just like chocolate, you should use emojis sparingly. Don’t end every single sentence with an emoji… that’s weird.

Be sure to use emojis that makes sense, meaning don’t use emojis in place of words. This dating relationship is very new, and this person doesn’t know you very well yet. They may not know what you mean if you replace every few words with an emoji. No one should ever have to really think about what you are trying to say. They shouldn’t have to learn how to decipher your emoji code like Tom Hanks in that Davinci Code movie. Not cool.

Is There a Timeframe?

If you are online dating according to some rule book, or status que created by your group of friends, then throw everything you know out the window. There is no time frame of when you should respond to someone following your date. You want this person to know you are interested in them, you had a great time, and you are excited to see them again.

You don’t want to be too needy or clingy, so don’t send a ton of one liner text messages, or book long text messages about how you see yourself marrying this person. When those crazy thoughts start creeping into your mind (hopefully they don’t), remind yourself of how you would feel if someone sent that message to you after only the first date.

It is completely acceptable to let someone know you had a great time, but remember you aren’t trying to bare your soul to them early in the dating process. You are simply trying to see if they are compatible with you.

If you tend to scare people away with too much too soon, then we would suggest getting a note book to write out all your thoughts, so you can let it out in a healthy way. You can also create a note (to yourself) in your phone to chat about how wonderful your first date was with your new boo. There’s always dishing to your closest friends as well, but remember, don’t kiss and tell. ?

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that you shouldn’t play games with people by not communicating or waiting out a certain amount of time before you reply to them. You should be clear in what you want to tell them, and not confuse them with tons of emojis.

If you feel like reaching out to them, then just do it, it doesn’t matter who reaches out first. You wouldn’t want a great catch to swim away because you were too concerned with timeframes and trying to look too cool for school. And if you need some help on how to ask for that second date, we can help.

Read: First Date Guides