If we had to guess, you fall into one of three categories—you’re just starting out a relationship with a lawyer, you’re interested in trying to meet a lawyer, or you’ve just gotten done binge watching Law and Order or Suits and you’re curious how things really are.
No matter which of these camps you fall into, this blog is for you. We’re going to take a look into the world of smart legal minds and talk about what it’s like dating a lawyer or an aspiring lawyer in law school. We’ll talk pros, cons, where to meet single lawyers, and the day to day details you need to know to be successful.
And before we go any further—if you’re reading this article because you’re interested in meeting a lawyer, we can help. Check our our page dedicated to the best dating apps for lawyers now to get into the game. But wait, aren’t these sites just for lawyers?
No! Where do you think the best place to meet a lawyer is? On the apps that they congregate on!
So, What’s It Like Dating a Lawyer?
With all of that information, or dare we say evidence (since we’re talking lawyers and all), what’s the day to day of dating a lawyer like? Let’s get into it.
It’s Largely Similar to Dating Other Professionals
Just because their specialty is law doesn’t mean they are some far out there creature. If you’ve ever dated a business executive or a professional before, there will be a lot of similarities. We’ll talk a lot more specifics in the next few sections, but we wanted to preface with this in case you’ve dated someone similar before.
They Will be Busy
Between court, phone calls, meetings, depositions, and research—lawyers are busy. Depending on the type of law they practice, it may have an effect on how and when they’re busy. For example, if they’re an attorney who handles big cases in court, they will be crazy busy when it gets close to the time a case goes to court but might have a bit more free time when they’re not close to a trial date.
Bear in mind that this isn’t a reflection of how much they like you or how committed they are to the relationship. Lawyers just have a lot of commitments that tend to take up larger chunks of time.
They May Have Late Nights
Not only are they going to be busy during the day, but there is often a lot of homework that comes with being a lawyer (and no, we’re not just talking about people in law school). Even though the courts close at 5 pm, there is usually a lot of prep work that goes on after the fact. This means if you’re dating a lawyer you need to be prepared for them to be busy at all hours of the day and night.
There Might Be Secrets
Sometimes lawyers work on cases that they’re not allowed to talk about. And while you might think that this doesn’t apply to you because they trust you, it does apply to you. If you’re dating a lawyer, you have to be prepared for there to be things about their work they can’t share with you. And if you want to be a supportive partner, you need to be prepared not to push them or put them in awkward situations about it.
They May Keep Unsavory Company
Some of their clients may be criminals. Again, this will depend on the type of law that they deal with. But if they’re anywhere near criminal law, they are going to spend time and be associated with some people who have broken the law. These will and should only be professional relationships, but it’s just something to be aware of in case that bothers you.
It’s Not All Bad!
If you stopped reading right now, you’d probably think that dating a lawyer is terrible. But that is so far from the truth! There is a lot of good and excitement that comes with dating someone in the legal field. Keep reading as we talk about some of the pros (and a few more cons) of dating a lawyer.
The Pros of Dating a Lawyer
The next step to understanding what it’s like to date a lawyer is to look at the positive perks that come with the territory! Here are the biggest pros to dating a lawyer or someone in law school.
Always sound legal advice
While you shouldn’t take advantage of your legal boo (especially early on in the relationship), there’s nothing wrong with getting good information from a reliable source when you have questions. Don’t look to use your significant other for free legal services, but when you’re dating a lawyer, there’s nothing wrong with curing your curiosity with a correct answer.
You’ll be dating someone with style
When lawyers go into the court room, their appearance is important. One of the best pros of dating a lawyer is they’re going to have a great sense of style (or at least someone who has helped them fake it till they make it)! Just imagine meeting your man or woman for drinks after work and they roll in with a flashy suit, pant suit, or business skirt ensemble.
You’ll be dating someone financially sound
Most lawyers make pretty good money. And even if you’re dating someone eating ramen noodles to get through law school, they’ve got a sweet paying gig waiting on the other side of that bar exam. While you should never date someone for their money and you should also never expect someone to pay for everything, there are a lot of nice perks and less worries that come with dating someone who is financially sound.
They can talk the talk
If you’re tired of dating people who are bad at communication, that’s not the case with an attorney. Dating a lawyer is like dating someone who is a professional communicator. Sure, they might be able to beat you in a debate, but they are also very good at relaying their feelings, thoughts, and opinions clearly.
Relationships often are about compromise. When people ask what’s it like dating a lawyer, one of the most exciting things to tell them is how great they are at compromise. Lawyers are masters at identifying win-wins and helping everyone involved in a situation come out better on the other side.
The Cons of Dating a Lawyer
It can be tempting only to talk about the good stuff when looking at what it’s like to date a lawyer. However, that’s not a realistic approach. If you want to have a successful relationship with an attorney, you have to be prepared to handle the good with the bad. It’s that compromise we alluded to, remember?
Here are some of the drawbacks, cons, and potential challenges when you’re dating a lawyer or someone in law school.
Even though the courts close at 5 PM every day, that doesn’t mean the job ends for an attorney. When you’re dating an attorney, you can expect them to have some long days, especially during trials or near deadlines. While they may make it home every night on those days, it will probably be super late and their minds will probably be mush.
Unfortunately, part of the reason that lawyers are paid so well is because they tackle stressful work. The culmination of months or years of hard work can hinge on a single second decision by the jury. And while their stress at work won’t directly affect you, it may come home with them from time to time.
Potentially high profile
If you’re dating a lawyer who gets involved in a higher profile case, you can expect to see them thrust into the limelight. Is this necessarily a con? Not really. But if you’re not someone who likes to be the center of attention (and possibly negative attention for no reason), it certainly is.
They are quick with their wit
Okay, so dating someone who is smart is never bad. And we want to be careful here that you don’t think we’re saying lawyers are bad people. However, you will be dating someone who is a professional at winning arguments. It’s literally what they do for a living, which means you may meet your match if you ever disagree on something.
Hopefully, they’re also smart enough to understand compromise (which most lawyers are), but it’s just something to be aware of.
Written By: Matthew J. Seymour, MSF
Matthew J. Seymour is a dating industry expert with over a decade of experience coaching singles, reviewing dating apps, and analyzing trends within the industry. Matt is a published author with his most recent work “Get More Dates: How to Master Online Dating Apps” that hit shelves in 2023. With a Masters of Science in Finance (MSF) degree from the University of Florida and extensive knowledge of the innerworkings of the online dating industry, Matt frequently serves in an advisory role to some of the largest dating apps on the market. In Matt’s current role with Healthy Framework, he leads the interview team that regularly interviews key dating industry leaders, and leverages his financial knowledge and dating app experience to review and share what singles need to know to get the most out of dating online.
Reviewed By: Debbie Gutfreund, MA
Debbie Gutfreund, MA holds a B.A. in English from the University of Pennsylvania and an MA in Family Therapy from the University of North Texas. With nearly two decades of experience in mental health treating both individuals and families through narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and trauma therapy as well as running coping skills workshops for all ages, Debbie is an integral part of the Healthy Framework team. At Healthy Framework, Debbie ensures articles about dating apps are accurate, safely written, and presented in a way that best benefits readers. In addition to her work with Healthy Framework, Debbie works as a clinician at the New England Behavioral Wellness Clinic.