Tinder First Messages that Get Responses

Ahhh, Tinder. What seems like the easiest dating app on the planet can seem challenging, especially when you’re trying to figure out what the heck to say to a new match. Well, we have good news. Sending the perfect Tinder first message is NOT as hard as people make it out to be.

In this guide, we’ll show you some awesome Tinder first message examples and how to create your own messages that will get way more responses.

Red heart in binary code

The Elements of a Great Tinder First Message

Before we drop our list of the best witty Tinder messages, we want to give you the tools to create your own awesome first message. In reality, the best Tinder messages are ones that are personalized not just to you, but to the guy or gal you’re messaging. And when you use a canned response, you lose that.

So, if you want to really master sending Tinder messages that get responses, stick to this section. If you just want solutions that work a decent amount of the time, skip to the next section. But seriously, if you want results, start here.

  • It’s More Than Hey – Seriously, if there is a worst first Tinder message to send—it’s just hey. You can lead off with the word hey, but if that’s all you send, you’re going to fail miserably.
  • It Shows You Read Their Profile – Yes, profiles are short on Tinder. However, between the few things they write and their pictures, you should be able to draw out something that you can use to personalize your message. It doesn’t have to be something major or something so detailed it’s creepy, but something that just shows you aren’t sending a cookie cutter message. Yes, we will give you example Tinder messages in a minute.
  • It Contains a Question – This is one that a lot of people miss. If you don’t give the person a super easy way to respond, they might not. But when people are asked a question, they feel the need to respond. And just to clarify, this question is one that’s appropriate.
  • It’s Appropriate – Even if you’re using Tinder to meet someone for some casual fun, it’s still important to start the conversation appropriately. If you come out of the gate guns blazing, you won’t have much of a great success rate.
  • It’s Grammatically Correct – You don’t have to be an English major to get a date on Tinder. However, if you send a message with typos that looks like you’re drunk or never set foot into a school—you won’t have much luck.

Tinder First Message Examples (and the magic formula)

Here’s the magic formula to write the perfect Tinder message.

Hey! I saw that/like that/noticed that you (something from their pictures or profile). (Question about that thing).

Is it really that simple? Yes! It is. Remember, when you match with someone, they already expressed interest in you. So it’s not like you need to do something crazy to get a conversation started, which should be your goal with the first message.

Here are some examples:

Almost every guy or girl usually has a picture of a dog somewhere on their Tinder profile. It’s like the law or something. If you see that, here are a few sample messages you can send that follows our formula:

  • Hey! Your dog looks like the coolest dog on the planet. Is that a golden retriever?
  • Whoa, your dog is huge! Does he/she still try and sit on your lap?
  • Nice pup! I have a terrier rescue pup. How old is your partner in crime?

Or if you see them at a location that you recognize, here are some examples.

  • Is that picture of you in the red shirt from Disney? Mad brownie points if it is!
  • No way! You got to go to the San Diego Zoo. Was that recent?
  • That first picture of you in the blue shirt is amazing. Where on Earth is that?!

Keep in mind with this one that you shouldn’t make it creepy. Something like Hey! I see you took a picture on Brown Sugar Avenue. I totally know where you live now. How are you? Also, don’t say that you went somewhere with an ex or something like that—also a losing combination.

Is It Really That Simple?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Sending the perfect Tinder message isn’t rocket science. You’re literally messaging a person who has already expressed interest in you. As long as you don’t creep them out and you make it easy for them to respond (like with a question), you’re going to have a lot of success.

Should I Use a Witty Tinder Message?

These sound like great ideas, but they’re really terrible to use. The guy or girl you’re talking to has probably already heard the line a million times. And it’s a pick-up line. Pick-up lines don’t work in person and they don’t work online. People want a genuine connection and message, even if they’re just looking to meet someone for casual fun.

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Author: Matt Seymour, MSF

Matthew J. Seymour is a dating industry expert with over a decade of experience coaching singles, reviewing dating apps, and analyzing trends within the industry. Matt is a published author with his most recent work “Get More Dates: How to Master Online Dating Apps” that hit shelves in 2023. With a Masters of Science in Finance (MSF) degree from the University of Florida and extensive knowledge of the innerworkings of the online dating industry, Matt frequently serves in an advisory role to some of the largest dating apps on the market. In Matt’s current role with Healthy Framework, he leads the interview team that regularly interviews key dating industry leaders, and leverages his financial knowledge and dating app experience to review and share what singles need to know to get the most out of dating online.