Should I Hide I’m a Doctor When Dating?

Fact Checked by: Dr. Nicolette Natale

If you polled 100 people and asked them what the best profession a partner could have is, the chances are high that the majority of those people would respond with ‘a doctor.’ And with this echoed throughout TV, movies, and the media, it’s no wonder that you’re here asking if you should hide that you’re a doctor when dating.

In this guide, we’re going to dig into that topic. We’ll start with some reasons you should hide that you’re a doctor and then share some reasons why you shouldn’t. Once we’ve carefully looked at both sides, we’ll share our verdict and what we think the best course of action is.

Reasons to Hide You’re a Doctor

  • Avoid gold diggers – Unfortunately, some people out there are looking to get into a relationship with somebody who can provide them a lavished life. When you tell anyone that might be on this hunt that you work as a doctor for a living, their eyes are going to light up like a Christmas tree.
  • No free consultations – When people meet someone who is a doctor, they often look at it as an opportunity to get all of their medical questions answered. And while it’s okay to have some excitement and interest in what a love interest does for a living, it’s not the place to take advantage of their knowledge base. If you hide that you’re a doctor (at least initially), you can avoid these conversations.
  • No fear you’re being liked for your profession – Doctors are one of the most respected careers on the planet. And for some people, the idea of dating a doctor is an exciting one. Do you want to date someone who is only interested in you because of what you do for a living? Probably not. The only real way to 100% know this isn’t happening is by not sharing what you do.

Reason to Tell Other Singles You’re a Doctor

  • It’s the most honest approach. – When it comes down to it, hiding anything (no matter what) is deceitful. What you will see in our final section, though, is there are ways you can present what you do for a living that is still honest but helps to get the best of both worlds here.  
  • Your job is part of who you are. – The fact that you’ve worked hard in life and achieved such a great career is amazing. And while your job isn’t what solely defines you, it is part of who you are. The whole point of dating is to get to know the other person and for them to get to know you. By being open about all aspects of your life, you can set yourself up for success.
  • Other singles will be more patient with your schedule – As a doctor, you know that your schedule can be all over the place. And depending on what type of medicine you practice, it could be something that happens literally all the time. If the person you’re dating knows you’re a doctor, they’ll be way more understanding if and when you have to cancel plans last minute. Instead of them thinking that you don’t like them, they’ll know it’s just the nature of your profession.
  • Doctors are good judges of character. – You deal with people on a daily basis. The chances are really good that you’re a rock star when it comes to reading body language and determining the true intentions of people. This means that even though you may run into some people who are after your money or position, you’ll be able to sniff it out from a mile away.

The Verdict – Should You Hide That You’re a Doctor or Not When Dating?

Here is what we think. Should you completely hide that you’re a doctor when dating? No. However, is there a better way that you can present what you do? Absolutely. Additionally, the term dating can mean a lot of different spots on the relationship timeline.

Let’s break this down.

At the beginning of the relationship (and on your dating profile), why not mention that you work in healthcare? This helps to show that you work in a field where your schedule may be disrupted, but it doesn’t necessarily mention where in the field you work.

As the relationship continues and you start to get to know someone better, that might be a good time to open up a bit more about exactly what you do. We’d still recommend shying away from particulars about where you work or from giving information that could help to identify where you work. Only after you fully know you can trust the person should you become comfortable sharing that information.

One thing to be careful of, though, is that you don’t let yourself sound shady or like you’re dodging a question when asked. For example, if someone asks what you do for a living (because that’s a common question) and you respond, “Ummm, I can’t really tell you that,” it’s not going to go well for you.

What you can do to mitigate that, though, is be prepared with how you’re comfortable answering common questions. Is there a right answer to each question? No. It all depends on whether or not you decide you want to share your profession, how early you want to share that, and in what detail you want to share that.

Some of the most common questions you can expect (and should be prepared for) include:

  • What do you do for a living?
  • Where did you go to school? (If you say med school, this obviously makes a point).
  • What’s a typical day like for you? (“I go to the hospital first…” You can see what that would insinuate).

So, should you hide that you’re a doctor when dating? It’s totally up to you. However, we’d recommend not hiding it completely, but shaping how in-depth you go about what you do for a living based on where you’re at in the relationship and dating process.

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Author: Matt Seymour, MSF

Matthew J. Seymour is a dating industry expert with over a decade of experience coaching singles, reviewing dating apps, and analyzing trends within the industry. Matt is a published author with his most recent work “Get More Dates: How to Master Online Dating Apps” that hit shelves in 2023. With a Masters of Science in Finance (MSF) degree from the University of Florida and extensive knowledge of the innerworkings of the online dating industry, Matt frequently serves in an advisory role to some of the largest dating apps on the market. In Matt’s current role with Healthy Framework, he leads the interview team that regularly interviews key dating industry leaders, and leverages his financial knowledge and dating app experience to review and share what singles need to know to get the most out of dating online.