Online dating can be a fun adventure with a rewarding outcome – or it can totally stink when you have date after date without much success. Some of us have been out of the dating scene for quite a while, so any kind of dating can seem an intimidating prospect. Maybe you just need a few pointers to help you with dating in this online environment.
How do you determine who’s worthy of an in-person date with you? How can you assess your online crush’s worthiness, without taking the fun out of dating? It’s tough when you get all excited about a crush, but what if there’s some major issue right up front or what if they turn out to be a total weirdo (or a computer instead of a person!). Whatever your reason for dating – for a long-term partner or a short-term fling – we’ve got some great tips to help you weed out the bad dates and find out which crushes are the true gems worth pursuing.
Compatibility Survey Matching
One of the really great features that some of the online dating sites have available is a compatibility and preferences survey. For example, eHarmony is known for their industry-leading Compatibility Survey which asks you your preferences in over twenty dimensions that their scientific research has determined leads to longer lasting relationships. When you have a “match” on eHarmony, it means that the person is probably worthy of some of your in-person time, at least once, to see if you’d like to take your relationship further.
Other dating sites, such as Elite Singles or Tinder, have more basic compatibility surveys that help you to at least get your basic relationship preferences met. These basic preferences include age, relationship type being sought, if you have kids, if you’re willing to relocate, or your religious affiliation – very simple attributes, but at least it takes off the matches that are totally not worthy of your time.
Another feature that many online dating communities are starting to offer is the video date phone call, made securely within your account. While some of these online dating communities use video date as a roulette wheel to meet new people (similar to speed dating), others provide their secure video features for people who are ready to meet in person.
Video dating is an excellent way that you can quickly remove anyone who may be posing as someone else or maybe is much different than what their profile bio and photos led you to believe – video dating really saves time for both people, so that when you are ready to meet in person, you are sure that you’re wanting to be with this person. It’s a truly excellent way to determine if your online crush is really worthy of an in-person date.
While you are on your video date with a potential match, ask your crush questions to find out more about their interests. Start out light with questions and remember that there’s plenty of time to go deeper on any topic that you find interesting about them. If anything seems fishy, you can end the call immediately.
A Written Set of Criteria
While many of the above suggestions utilize features that are supported by technology, nothing beats having your own set of criteria for a partner and just taking your time to really find the right person. A match that is worthy on an in-person date will meet about 85% of your personal criteria set – realize that there is no one single partner that will meet 100% of your wants and needs, for 100% of the time.
Craft a reasonable set of preferences in who you’d consider a match even before you get into online dating. It will make the entire online dating thing seem much less daunting and you’ll be focused on who you really want to bring into your life. You might consider including things that are physical characteristics, mental or personality characteristics; or even what hobbies or recreational activities that you hope you both will share. It’s your list, so make it uniquely yours.
Choose a Good Online Dating Community… Or Two
One way to ensure that you are regularly encountering people worthy of your dating time is to choose one of the well-known online dating communities with a high success rate. Many online dating communities have been in existence and helping to match happy couples for 15, 20, or even 30 years.
These large online dating communities, such as eHarmony or Elite Singles, even have “trust and safety teams” that actively work to protect the real people looking for love on their sites. These employees remove any bot or scammer profiles that you might run into – so therefore, you will have much more success on these exclusive communities that keep only worthy dating partners on their site.
You will know when a person that you’ve met online is worthy of an in-person date, just like how you can feel the chemistry and honesty of communication when you meet someone in person. Use your brain and trust your inner feelings. If someone seems to be an unworthy person, you can do others a favor and report them to the dating site’s administrators to have them checked out (and possibly removed from the stie).
Choose a great online dating community that has the features to support your search for love. Well-known, large, online dating communities really know what they are doing – so it’s simply up to you to pick a site that jives with your personal style, and then get started in your search!
Written By: Matthew J. Seymour, MSF
Matthew J. Seymour is a dating industry expert with over a decade of experience coaching singles, reviewing dating apps, and analyzing trends within the industry. Matt is a published author with his most recent work “Get More Dates: How to Master Online Dating Apps” that hit shelves in 2023. With a Masters of Science in Finance (MSF) degree from the University of Florida and extensive knowledge of the innerworkings of the online dating industry, Matt frequently serves in an advisory role to some of the largest dating apps on the market. In Matt’s current role with Healthy Framework, he leads the interview team that regularly interviews key dating industry leaders, and leverages his financial knowledge and dating app experience to review and share what singles need to know to get the most out of dating online.