Sometimes finding a boyfriend can feel like it’s never going to happen. If you’re here with us, you probably feel like you’ve looked everywhere and can’t find a good man to save your life! If we’re preaching to the choir, you’ve come to the right place.
In this guide, our team is going to not only help you figure out exactly how to find a boyfriend, but we’re going to give you some tips to find a good one. Whether it’s your first time out there dating, it’s been a while, or you’re just not having any luck—we’ve got you covered.
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Places to Find a Boyfriend
1. Ask Your Girlfriends
Sometimes your girlfriends can be your best resource when it comes to finding a boyfriend. Not only are they going to know you really well (and what you want), but they’re 100% going to have your best interests at heart.
- Don’t assume your girlfriends know you’re looking for them to set you up. If you want some help, let them know.
- Don’t get upset if you ask and your girlfriends don’t have anyone in mind right away. If they’re single, they may have their hands full looking for themselves, or it might take time for them to think of someone.
- We didn’t mention guy friends just because that can cause some awkward situations if they have hidden feelings for you. But if you’re certain they don’t, you can ask them too!
If you want some help on the right way to ask your friends to set you up on a date, make sure to check out our guide on the topic.
2. At Least Consider Everyone
This is one of our favorite tips for finding a bf that is so often overlooked. Many times we meet people and for one reason or the other don’t consider them as a romantic option. However, when we step back and think about them in a new light, we realize they were hiding right under our nose.
Take a minute and consider every guy in your life from top to bottom. Most of them you have already dismissed will probably stay in that category, but there might be one or two men that you may see in a different light.
3. Online Dating Apps and Websites
The single easiest way to turbocharge your chances of finding a bf is through online dating. Dating sites give you the opportunity to connect with thousands of single men in your area that you would have otherwise not been able to connect with. We’ve listed some of our favorite dating sites to find a bf at the top of the page (we highly recommend checking them out).
But if you’re looking for the best of the best, we recommend eHarmony.
Featured Pick: eHarmony – The Best Dating App to Find a BF
- Results in more long-term, happy relationships than any other app
- Affordable pricing with multiple tier options
- One of the most in-depth personality assessments of any dating app
eHarmony is consistently rated one of the top dating apps on the market specifically for singles looking for relationships. Why is that so important? Well, if you’re using apps like Tinder to try and find a boyfriend, you’re probably not doing yourself any justice because apps like Tinder and designed for casual dating.
To actually find a man who is open to the boyfriend title, you’ll want to stick to options like eHarmony. And with over 2 million people finding love through the site, 2.3 million messages sent weekly (on average), and over 96% of members, it’s no wonder it’s at the top of our list (and most people’s list).
If you’ve never tried online dating or given eHarmony specifically a try, maybe take a chance today.
4. Mix Up Where You Go
If you keep going to the same places you always do, your pool of potential boyfriend candidates isn’t going to change all that much. What you should consider doing is changing up some of the places you frequent to expose yourself to some new opportunities.
For example, if you always go to the coffee shop by your house, consider checking out one a few miles away. While this might seem like a small change, you never know what (or who) might be waiting for you just down the road.
5. Mix Up Your Times
Before you start mixing up where you go, there is one other thing that you can try at the places you’re already comfortable. While this isn’t technically a place, it is a fantastic tip to get more utility from the places you are already frequenting. Start mixing up the times you frequent certain places.
Using the coffee example again, if you always go there at 9 am on Saturdays, consider going there in the afternoon once in a while. While this isn’t guaranteed to work, you just may stumble upon a great man who just frequents the same place as you but on a different schedule. Finding a boyfriend is something that sometimes requires a little luck, but this is a great way to turbocharge those chances.
6. Leverage the Community Calendar
Going to unique events in your town or neighboring cities is a fantastic way to find a boyfriend. Not only are these events usually filled with tons of viable candidates, but they’re unique in nature which gives you some cool opportunities to strike up a conversation.
Some of the places to look for these community calendars to find events are:
- Search the internet for events
- Look at news station websites for community calendars
- Check out any local magazines or newspapers for advertised events
- Look on places like Event Brite or other event and ticket companies
While you’re there, look for anything that seems unique! This could be things like:
- Music events
- Community celebrations
- Beer or wine festivals
- Food truck meetups
The list could go on forever, but these are just a few places to consider when trying to find yourself a boyfriend. And the best part? Even if you don’t meet a man there, these events are usually a ton of fun!
A great place to find great men while doing great for the community is volunteer work. There are literally hundreds of organizations in every city that are working hard to better society and looking for people to come in and give them a hand. And guess what? Places like this have a tendency to attract men who would make great boyfriends.
Need help finding somewhere to volunteer? Just use Google! Look for things like Habitat for Humanity, soup kitchens, nature cleanups, or get in touch with a local church to find opportunities. One thing, though—make sure you approach the opportunity with the right mindset of helping people and finding a bf as a nice potential side bonus.
Speaking of church, if you’re a religious single looking for a bf, your church (or a church in the area) may have some resources to help you out. Many churches over the past decade have begun dramatically expanding their single’s ministries to help faith-focused singles connect. While this isn’t a good fit for people who aren’t religious, it’s a great one for those who are.
Dog parks, regular parks, National parks, water parks—pretty much any type of park that attracts a lot of people is a great place for those trying to figure out how to find a boyfriend. Why? Number one, anywhere with people is a good spot. Number two—parks attract active people, which means healthier and potentially more viable bf candidates.
And number three—parks leave a lot of great opportunities to strike up a conversation. For example, if you’re at a dog park and they have a dog, you can ask him about his dog. “Your dog is so cute! What kind of dog is it?” Yes, it’s that easy!
10. Grocery Stores
Believe it or not, there are a lot of relationships that start from a conversation at the grocery store! While you may have to have a little courage to spark up a conversation, the results could be amazing.
And one little thing we think is awesome about meeting men at the grocery store is that you can glance in their cart to learn a little about their lifestyle. For example, if they have two carts full of beer and pizza rolls, they may still be living in the party phase of their life. If they have a cart full of organic vegetables and healthy foods that require cooking, they may be someone that has things a little more organized.
Neither of these is bad depending on where you are in your life and what kind of boyfriend you’re looking for, but it’s some great information.
Don’t be shy to strike up a conversation at the grocery store. Ask them to help you reach something…ask them for a product recommendation…just say hi! These all work WAY better than most people think.
10. Social Media
Full disclosure, this isn’t really one that we’re a big fan of, but we wanted to mention it for the sake of completeness. Yes, you can “slide into his DMs” if you want on your favorite social media app to spark up a conversation. And much like the grocery store tip to look in their cart, you’ll get a good chance to understand parts of their life from their social photos, videos, reels, etc.
If you’re going to go this route, though, you’re better off going with online dating apps that are a much more controlled and safe environment.
12. Bars, Nightclubs, and Happy Hour
While these environments can be a little more aggressive when it comes to men trying to meet you, that might be something you’re looking for. Additionally, these environments tend to have more guys in the party phase of their life who might not be looking to make someone their gf.
That being said, there are still quite a few relationships that are bred out of the bar and nightclub environment. If you are looking for a way to tap into this option but maybe with some men that are a bit more serious about being boyfriend material, consider happy hours over going out until 2 am. You’ll find wildly different types of people.
13. School and Work
Whether you’re working or in school, these are generally two great places to find potential boyfriend material. At work, it can be your coworkers or people who come into work (as long as you follow the HR rules of your company). At school, there are so many people who are most likely in the same season of life as you. Open your eyes a bit and see who is out there. There might be someone hiding under your nose you haven’t noticed yet.
Last but not least, we need to say this. There is nowhere that’s off limits for finding a boyfriend. Keep your eyes open anywhere and everywhere you go. Consider every man you meet as potentially someone that might be the man for you. You may be surprised at some of the unique places that you’ll run into men who are viable bf candidates.
4 Steps to Find a Boyfriend
Now that we’ve shared a few great places to find a bf, let’s talk about what the process actually looks like. What are the steps you can take starting today to find a boyfriend? Here are four steps.
1. Realize the importance of realistic expectations.
If you’re expecting to find a quality boyfriend in five minutes, you need to rethink things. Heck, sometimes it takes us weeks to find even a new outfit, let alone a person we’re going to spend large portions of our life with!
Realize that being patient when finding a boyfriend is a good thing. It prevents you from settling or forcing something that is no good or unhealthy.
Additionally, if you come across as needy, that’s never an attractive quality.
2. Figure out what you’re looking for.
You don’t need to know exactly what you’re looking for in a boyfriend to start looking. In fact, if you have a checklist that’s so specific, that could be part of the problem as to why you can’t find a boyfriend.
However, you do need to know what your deal breakers are and what you’re not willing to settle on. Knowing these things helps you to figure out the direction to start looking and, again, protect you from settling.
Make a list of the things you need and the things you want in a boyfriend. Rank them by level of importance, and make sure anything on your needs list is something you 100% can’t live without. For example, a tall guy might be something you think you need, but in reality it’s just something you want but would be willing to bend on if you found the perfect man.
3. Make sure you are ready.
Who is ready for some truth be told? Some of you reading this are NOT ready to start dating. Is that a bad thing? Of course not! It only becomes a bad thing if you start dating when you’re not ready.
Here are a few examples of situations that may mean you’re not ready to be looking for a boyfriend:
- You aren’t over your ex yet or are dating to get back at your ex.
- You feel like you NEED a boyfriend.
- You’re expecting a boyfriend to fix something wrong in your life.
- You’re looking for a boyfriend to make you happy (not just happier).
Many of you are ready to start dating and looking for a boyfriend, which is awesome. But if you’re not, that’s okay. Take the time to work on yourself first, and then get out there.
4. Put yourself out there, and create opportunities.
Once you’ve finished those the first three steps, it’s time to get out there! Leverage the list of places and tips we shared and create as many opportunities as possible. Remember to be patient and don’t burn yourself out, but the more opportunities—the better!
If you’re looking for a step you can take right now, why not check out a few of the dating apps for finding a boyfriend we recommended at the top of the guide!
FAQ – Finding a Boyfriend
What’s the best dating app to find a boyfriend?
The best dating app for finding a boyfriend is eHarmony. It’s intense focus on serious relationships, solid track record, and active userbase of men make it an ideal starting point for online options.
How do you get a boyfriend if you’re shy?
When you’re shy, you have three options for getting a boyfriend. Number one is just patiently waiting and hoping a guy approaches you. While this does occasionally work, it’s not very effective. Option number two is to use mediums that are good for people who are shy. These include online dating apps and asking your friends to help set you up. And option number three is to work on your courage and really put yourself out of your comfort zone! That may be tough but the results could be amazing.
Can I get a boyfriend online?
Yes, you can absolutely get a boyfriend online. Years ago that wasn’t the case but now with online dating being so commonplace, it’s a great place to find a boyfriend.
Is Finding a Boyfriend Online Hard?
It doesn’t have to be! In fact, we’d argue that finding a boyfriend is even easier online because you can cut out all the time-consuming legwork that goes into finding an interested partner. With online dating, you know going in that the other singles are looking to date. You can tell exactly what kind of relationship they are looking for and narrow them down based on your preferences.
Are There Quality Men Online?
Statistics show that a large percentage of modern marriages are a result of online dating. Couple this with the outstanding marriage statistics of eHarmony and other dating apps for finding a boyfriend and we think it is safe to say that you can easily find quality men online. The moderation through the dating apps on our list also works to weed out any members with nefarious purposes, so your matches should all be the cream of the crop.
Is Online Dating Different For Men?
Research into online dating and how it varies among men and women has shown that heterosexual men are more likely to find online dating difficult. This is because they statistically receive less messages or unprompted interest from female users. So, if you want to increase your odds of finding an amazing boyfriend through online dating, make the effort to reach out to those who interest you.
Written By: Matthew J. Seymour, MSF
Matthew J. Seymour is a dating industry expert with over a decade of experience coaching singles, reviewing dating apps, and analyzing trends within the industry. Matt is a published author with his most recent work “Get More Dates: How to Master Online Dating Apps” that hit shelves in 2023. With a Masters of Science in Finance (MSF) degree from the University of Florida and extensive knowledge of the innerworkings of the online dating industry, Matt frequently serves in an advisory role to some of the largest dating apps on the market. In Matt’s current role with Healthy Framework, he leads the interview team that regularly interviews key dating industry leaders, and leverages his financial knowledge and dating app experience to review and share what singles need to know to get the most out of dating online.
Reviewed By: Dr. Nicolette Natale
Dr. Nicolette Natale is a physician with a strong background in Psychology, General Medicine, and English Literature, a D.O from Nova Southeastern University and a B.A. in Psychology from the University of Miami. Dr. Natale has over 6 years working in the mental health field with a specialized expertise working with mood disorders, PTSD, depression, and anxiety. Her work has been featured on major publications including Healthcanal, Lecturio, NCHC, and EH project. At Healthy Framework, Dr. Natale serves as our lead medical reviewer ensuring that our dating and dating app content is safe, accurate, and best serves our readers.