The Guide to Dating a Musician

Whether it’s rock, country, or R&B, merengue or hip-hop, there’s nothing more exciting than live music, whether it’s a large concert at an arena or an acoustic set at an intimate club. Music can create an emotional connection between the song and the listener, so who wouldn’t want to get to know the songwriter that tugs at your heart strings? 

Or maybe you’re just a fun-loving person who enjoys a high-energy partying lifestyle, and want to date someone who enjoys it, too. There are musicians who want to date people who can match their fun-loving lifestyle. Whoever you’re looking for, there are plenty of single musicians looking for you, too.

For you: Best Dating Apps for Musicians

Drum set and keyboard in a basement

Top Tips for Dating a Musician

  • Have fun! – First and foremost, you want to date a musician so you can enjoy your common interests. It can be easy to worry about pitfalls ahead, but don’t worry about long-term until something becomes long-term! Sit back and enjoy the music. 
  • Make sure you’re not the jealous type. – Music can feel so personal, and live performance can be so intoxicating that you won’t be the only one trying to catch a musician’s eye. Be confident in who you are. Confidence is sexy. 
  • Let your musical knowledge take center stage – Talking music is a great place to start. If you know a lot about your favorite type of music, don’t be shy about showing off your smarts.
  • Don’t forget your earplugs! – Dating a musician means plenty of shows. Be prepared to enjoy them!

How to Date a Musician – Finding Single Musicians

So you’d like to date a musician – the good news is that if you’re a music lover, musicians aren’t hard to find! You may just not have realized it. 

The obvious place to start is your local club. In addition to seeing the bands on the bill, there will be plenty of musicians in the audience, too. Strike up a conversation, offer to buy someone a drink, and see what happens. 

You may be an avowed music streamer, but record stores are seeing a resurgence, and spending time in record stores and instrument shops can be a great way to find other music lovers – and a good percentage of them will be musicians, too.

Of course, none of us can make it out to every club seven nights a week. If you’re interested in online dating, you can look for clues like pictures or keywords, but there are also plenty of sites that make finding single musicians easier to find.

Pros of Dating a Musician

  • Seeing bands for free. – If your date’s band is on the bill, you’re likely to be on the guest list. If you like your date’s band, the bands that they’ll be playing with will be your style, too. 
  • Be in the musical know – Up and coming musicians will often be the opening act for your date’s band. Whether it’s your date’s band or someone new, you’ll be able to say “I knew them when…!”
  • Never a dull moment – Dating a musician means music will be a part of nearly everything you do. Listening to new songs, helping with album art, going to shows – you’ll be there to witness it, and maybe even participate! 
  • Add to your record collection – seeing new bands is a great way to find your new favorite band (even if it’s not your date’s band!). Accompanying your date to clubs means a chance to get and interesting new band’s latest release. 
  • Meet interesting people – New bands, new shows, new people to chat with in the audience: they all mean there’s a good chance you’ll develop new platonic friendships along the way.
  • Spend time around creative energy – If you’re interested in dating a musician, it may be because you’ve got a musical ear yourself. There’s nothing like being around other creatives to stoke your own artistic fire! 

Challenges of Dating a Musician

  • Be okay with time on your own. – Whether it’s your job or theirs, dating a musician whose band goes on tour means plenty of time on your own. Some days, text and FaceTime may be the only contact you get.
  • Beware overprotective bandmates – a new partner may signal a new distraction for a band that’s trying to make it big. Some bandmates may see you as a threat to that. Don’t worry about it. Your relationship is with your musician partner, not their bandmates.
  • Know your date could have interesting forms of employment – if you’re dating a musician who’s on the rise but hasn’t “made it” yet, they will have to have jobs that allow the flexibility for touring and last-minute shows. If you’re looking for someone with a desk job and a pension, you might want to look elsewhere.
  • Be prepared for staying up late – no concert ever starts exactly on time, and can go well past midnight. Your “date night” might actually be early the next morning! Dating a musician means dating a night owl.

FAQ for Dating a Musician

  • Do I need to be a musician, too? Not at all! The most important part of dating a musician is loving music!
  • How do I make myself stand out? It’s well-known that there are plenty of people who’d like to get to know musicians – sometimes just for a night or so. Be open about what you’re looking for, and you’ll meet someone who’s looking for the same level of commitment you are.
  • Do I need to be ready to go on tour? Don’t worry about that off the bat. Pace yourself! While you may have a chance to fly to New York at the drop of a hat, it’s never a given that you’ll be along for the ride.
  • What’s the best first date with a musician? While you’d think a loud show would highlight your common interest, a traditional first date, like dinner and a movie, will give you a chance to really get to know your date. Or meet at a record store – what each of you chooses will give you plenty to talk about.