Healthy Framework https://healthyframework.com/ Dating and Relationship Building Resources Fri, 30 Sep 2022 17:05:50 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.1.1 https://healthyframework.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/cropped-Logo-32x32.png Healthy Framework https://healthyframework.com/ 32 32 10 of the Best Birmingham Date Ideas – and Some Are Surprising! https://healthyframework.com/dating/blog/best-birmingham-date-ideas/ Mon, 31 Oct 2022 20:06:00 +0000 https://healthyframework.com/?p=29514 Being single can pose all kinds of challenges. So when you meet that special someone, you want to do everything you can to impress.  When you’re thinking of ideas for where to take your potential (or actual) partner, the good old dinner and a movie is fine. But we’re here to take fine to fantastic ... Read more

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Being single can pose all kinds of challenges. So when you meet that special someone, you want to do everything you can to impress. 

When you’re thinking of ideas for where to take your potential (or actual) partner, the good old dinner and a movie is fine. But we’re here to take fine to fantastic with ten of the best Birmingham date ideas. And we think at least one is going to catch you off guard!

couple walking down the street near a tavern

The Lost & Found

Some of the best Birmingham date ideas start with cocktails, so we’ll start our list with an excellent place to get them.

There are six Victorian hideaway spots under The Lost & Found umbrella, including “Botany” on Bennetts Hill in Birmingham. The speakeasy hidden behind a bookcase offers a retro and fun ambience.

You can order food, but we want to focus on the “Ingenious,” “Found,” and “Sharing Cocktails,” as they’re not your run-of-the-mill pub drinks. For example, take The Tangled Teapot for Two. It’s an enticing combination of gin and elderflower and peach teas, brought to the extreme by dry ice.

An unusual “Found” cocktail is Jerry’s Biscoff Shake. The distinctive and decadent treat is made with cream, Sailor Jerry rum, and Biscoff Lotus biscuit.

It’s an ideal place for a first, 10th, or 1,500th date!

Canalside Walks and Chocolate

You’re probably aware that a proper Birmingham canal walk is about 30 miles, which is a bit much for a first or any date. Instead, we think an ideal afternoon outing is tackling just a piece of the canal walk – the one that leads to chocolate.

The Cadbury Factory is en route, so why not start early and take a leisurely stroll? Then, you can replenish those calories lost with Cadbury’s Afternoon Tea. Chocolate brownies and rocky road supplement the savoury sandwiches, and you can add Prosecco to the package.

A combination of admission and afternoon tea is only £25.50 per person. Just be sure to make reservations. All the planning would go to waste if you didn’t have a table waiting for you. 

Are you not sold on Cadbury? Stick with the walk anyway. There are plenty of other canal-side spots that you’ll both enjoy.

Cook Together. Stay Together?

Partners that cook together stay together. OK, yes, we made that up. However, there are plenty of other reasons why a cooking class is an ideal Birmingham date idea.

The Harborne Food School on 106 High Street might not be top of mind for the best Birmingham date ideas, but it should be, as it’s ideal. You have a planned activity based around food with time to work together and socialize with others in an upbeat but relaxed atmosphere.

Classes cover a variety of cuisines so you can pick your favourite. But we think the Italian cooking class would be a lot of fun.

You and your partner will make pasta and sauces and bake bread to go along. Then, you get to enjoy it with your classmates who might be your new mates.

Outdoor Film Festival

Come on, what could be more romantic than a picnic and a film under the stars? You can roll out a blanket, order some drinks so you can have a toast, and you’ll think the two of you are the only ones there.

Outdoor Cinema has screenings throughout the Birmingham area. You can attend film festivals or single film events. The experience is different from a drive-in, so be prepared with blankets or chairs. But, if you really want to impress, you can buy seats-provided VIP tickets. Who doesn’t love being a VIP on a date, right?

Dining at 1565

If it’s new to you, 1565 is an outdoor terrace and luxury bar at the Park Regis in City Centre. 

With its beautiful and upscale seating area, it’s an ideal Birmingham date spot for afternoon or evening get-togethers. 1565 serves afternoon tea until 16:00, and then it’s Happy Hour time. And, despite the luxurious atmosphere, Happy Hour is quite affordable.

Wine, beer, and cider are less than £5. Cocktails like a Whisky Collins or Raspberry Lemon Drop will only set you back £7 each.

So, you can stick to drinks if you’re on a budget, and it’ll still feel like you’ve rolled out the red carpet for your significant other.

Escape From Shrewsbury Prison

It’s quirky, pricey, and not your typical date idea in Birmingham. But we couldn’t pass on the chance to suggest a prison escape.

Shrewsbury Prison hosts the world’s biggest escape game for about £65 each. And, unless your partner is ultra-conservative and unwilling to try something new, you will have the most memorable date. 

You get two and a half hours to prove your innocence while donning a super fashionable (haha) orange jumpsuit. It’s certainly an adrenaline rush, as you’ll work together and with other inmates to break out of your cell and the prison wing while the clock ticks.

So, maybe it’s not romantic. But it’s a laugh!

Dinner Cruise

If spending two and a half hours breaking out of prison isn’t your idea of a fun date, how about spending the same amount of time enjoying a delicious meal on a dinner cruise?

The Away 2 Dine experience is £55 per person for a four-course menu, cruise included. Mains include your choice of chicken, lamb, coley, or halloumi.

But the food is almost secondary to the beautiful view through the panoramic windows.

There’s a full bar and plenty of time to relax and get to know each other better. Besides, a dinner cruise is quite a few steps above a “been there, done that” dinner in the pub.

A Few More Birmingham Date Ideas

Cocktails and a Sharing Menu at The Alchemist

Both the food and drinks at The Alchemist at Brindleyplace are anything but boring. So, if you want to plan a more traditional date night at a restaurant, why not make it a little bit unique anyway? The sharing menu includes goodies like Electric Pink Trout and plant-based Salt & Pepper Bites. But the main event is chemistry-inspired cocktails like the Cherry Poppins topped with a Cherry Fog Bubble.

Bring the Dogs

Are you both dog lovers? Why not make it a double date, then? Birmingham has plenty of cafes and pubs that are dog-friendly. Caféphilia is an excellent choice. Coffee, smoothies, sandwiches and your best furry friends make for a laid-back, comfortable afternoon date.

All About the Beer

Instead of a pint at the local pub, why not shake things up with a brewery tour or a “make your own” experience? Two Towers Brewery on Shadwell Street offers both. Or, just head next door where the tap is flowing – you can’t go wrong with any of the three options.

Your Favorite Birmingham Date Idea?

We recognise that when there’s chemistry, it doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing. But a unique date can turn into a lasting memory. 

So, select one of our best Birmingham date ideas as your jumping-off point and then add your personal touch. Even if the two of you don’t become lifelong partners, you’ll still have fun!

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How To Meet Singles in Wales https://healthyframework.com/dating/blog/meet-singles-in-wales/ Wed, 26 Oct 2022 19:51:00 +0000 https://healthyframework.com/?p=30741 In a growing region with over 3 million residents, more than 50% aged 16 and above identified as unmarried or separated, you’d think that it might be an easy feat to meet singles in Wales. But if you’re a singleton, you know the challenges, whether you prefer meeting UK singles online or the good, old-fashioned ... Read more

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In a growing region with over 3 million residents, more than 50% aged 16 and above identified as unmarried or separated, you’d think that it might be an easy feat to meet singles in Wales.

But if you’re a singleton, you know the challenges, whether you prefer meeting UK singles online or the good, old-fashioned meeting someone in-person method. We’ve got all kinds of information on our site about dating in the virtual space, so we’re devoting this page to offline dating with a few (hopefully helpful!) ideas on how to meet singles in Wales.

couple cooking outside in the woods during the day

SUP Social

What is SUP? It stands for Stand Up Paddleboarding, and SUP Social is an opportunity to mix with other Cardiff International White Water adventurers.

If you’ve never paddle boarded before, you can take a class called SUP Tasters for £35 or go all-in with four weeks of Mixed SUP class (say that out loud) for £110. Once you’ve got a good handle on your board, SUP Social allows you to “meet and paddle with like-minded people.”

How’s that for an unusual way to meet someone?

Cookery Class Singles Events

OK, we’ve got a bit of crossover here because online meets offline in Match.com’s Cookery Class Singles Events.

Over the past few years, Match.com has been venturing into the live events arena, and we think cookery classes are ideal opportunities to meet people in a more relaxed environment.

Participants will learn from chefs across the UK, and it’s much easier to drum up conversation amid a group activity.

To participate, you need to sign up with Match.com. Whether you use the online tools or not, it might be worth it for these IRL events alone – you’ll definitely meet other singles in Wales.

Wales Outdoors

You don’t need to be a skilled athlete to join an outdoor expedition that provides plenty of time to meet your fellow participants.

Wales Outdoors schedules a minimum of two weekly guided walks – Brecon Beacons National Park and South Wales. There’s no need to join a club – all you have to do is buy a ticket. But if you love what you experience, you can go mountaineering or participate in international excursions. 

Lots of possibilities – plenty of opportunities to meet people in a casual, non-intimidating environment. Oh, and it’s fun!

Single Social – Swansea

A Facebook group that follows through with fun in-person events? Yes, it’s possible, and Single Social is doing it!

It’s a private Facebook group for singles in Swansea with get-togethers like Single to Mingle in local pubs. We wanted to ensure this group was highly active and found 100+ posts in a month.

If you’ve been looking for something different than Meetup Groups to help you meet singles in Wales, this might be the one for you. 

Speed Dating for All Ages

Whether you’re in your 20s or your 60s, Slow Dating has some events on the books in Cardiff and Bristol that you might want to try.

If you’ve never tried speed dating, you’ll meet in a venue like a Wine Bar or club. When the event begins, you get four minutes to meet other participants to see if you’ll make a connection.

It’ll cost you £22, but if you don’t find anyone you’re interested in seeing again, you can attend another one for free. You’ve got nothing to lose but £22!

Mermaid Quay

If you’re in or near Cardiff, Mermaid Quay is the place to be for people-watching and meeting other singles. The waterfront location has 30 restaurants, plenty of outdoor tables, and spots to meet up with friends.

Or, if you’re trying to meet other singles in Wales, maybe go solo with your dog – you’ll be more approachable.

We think sitting outside for a few hours is an excellent idea as you’re sure to encounter other singles. But if you prefer activities, pop into the comedy club. Everyone will be ready to mingle with a few drinks and lots of laughs.

Do Some Business Networking

You don’t have to go to a singles event per se to meet a potential partner. If you’re part of the business community, there are several networking groups with like-minded people, and maybe Mr. or Ms. Right is one of them.

In South Wales, there’s the M4 Business Network. There’s also the Swansea Bay Business Club and quite a few others hosted through Meetup. 

If you don’t gravitate to business networking, try a group that focuses on things that are important to you – politics, books, art, outdoor activities, etc.

Volunteering Has Its Benefits

You don’t need us to tell you that volunteering is good. It’s a way to give back and positively impact your community. 

Regardless of where you live in Wales, you’re sure to find long lists of volunteer opportunities with something that’ll be a good fit for you. For example, Volunteering Matters has postings with everything from dog walkers to telephone befrienders to workshop leaders.

Finding something that aligns with your passion is a great way to spend some time, but it will also introduce you to new people with similar interests. When you want to meet singles in Wales, it’s wise to go off the beaten path.

Join a Cycling Group

If you love cycling, it’s good to know that others do, too. Several cycling clubs are throughout Wales, like Ogmore Valley Wheelers in Glamorgan, South Wales.

The Ogmore Valley Wheelers has a social night on Mondays and plenty of get-togethers like social rides. A fellow cyclist might catch your eye. But, at the very least, you’ll get some exercise and meet some fun new people.

Takeaway With Your Dog

If you’re in West Wales, you might already be familiar with the award-winning New Celtic in Aberaeron. It’s situated near the harbour and is the perfect spot to grab some takeaway and spend a little outdoor time with your fur baby, and you won’t be the only one doing it.

One of the best ways to meet singles in Wales or anywhere else is to venture off on your own with your dog. You’re not alone, and you have an instant conversation starter. 

Meet Singles in Wales by Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

We’ve provided ten ways to interact with other singletons throughout Wales. Some have built-in activities, like the Match.com Cookery Classes. But others (Mermaid Quay, takeaway with your dog) get you in the vicinity of other singles but require you to be approachable or assertive.

Whatever approach you choose, you have nothing to lose and possibly something wonderful to gain. So, take a deep breath and get out there with your head up and your heart open!

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Are Anniversaries Important When You’re Dating? https://healthyframework.com/dating/blog/are-anniversaries-important-when-dating/ Tue, 18 Oct 2022 18:40:00 +0000 https://healthyframework.com/?p=30735 If you’re just starting a new relationship—especially if you’re fairly new to dating—it can be tough to learn the ropes. How often should you go out? When do you meet each other’s friends? When do you meet their parents? There’s no end to questions. But one of the ones that will come up more quickly ... Read more

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If you’re just starting a new relationship—especially if you’re fairly new to dating—it can be tough to learn the ropes. How often should you go out? When do you meet each other’s friends? When do you meet their parents? There’s no end to questions. But one of the ones that will come up more quickly than you think is whether or not you’ll celebrate anniversaries when you’re dating.

The short answer—frustratingly—is it depends on you and the person you’re dating.

But even then, there are variables: If you celebrate them, are you celebrating true anniversaries, or are you celebrating “monthiversaries?” Do you have to celebrate both? And if so, what date should you choose as your starting point? 

It’s enough to make you sweat from nerves, but don’t worry. We’ve got you covered.

image of a woman holding pink flowers

So…When Is Your Anniversary, Anyway?

For couples who get married, the anniversary date is clear: it’s the date of the ceremony.

But if you’re dating, and it’s a true anniversary, it’s not as straightforward. Some people may consider the anniversary of their first date as the one to go with, while others will choose to go with the anniversary of when they started dating each other exclusively. 

It really depends on the couple. But if you’re reading this, you may feel expected to participate in the whole “anniversary” thing because it’s important to the person you’re dating. If you’re not opposed to the idea—or even if you like the idea, but it’s just new to you—the first step is to figure out which date you’re celebrating. 

Have Trouble Remembering Dates? – Check out our Relationship Butler and never forget a date that’s important to your significant other again! (100% free always!)

Time Is on Your Side

The nice thing about celebrating a true, once-a-year anniversary is that you’ve got plenty of time to figure out what—if anything—you’ll do about the anniversary. If you’re not into monthiversaries, you’ve got several months to plan for the first anniversary you’ll share.

Around month ten you can start feeling things out

Consider being straightforward and asking if your significant other wants to celebrate. They may not really take anniversaries seriously, or they may take them so seriously that they only consider a marriage anniversary a “true” anniversary. But tiptoeing around the situation or dropping hints doesn’t help either of you. 

What if You Don’t Want to Celebrate Anniversaries?

One of the reasons you may not be sure that it’s important to celebrate dating anniversaries is that you may not be entirely sold on the idea. There’s nothing wrong with that. Again, every relationship is different. 

But if you and your significant other aren’t on the same page, it can definitely get sticky.

While you should never do anything you absolutely don’t agree with, you may want to think about celebrating dating anniversaries even if the idea doesn’t excite you. Good relationships are about compromise, and unless your significant other expects you to drop thousands on every special day, there’s not much harm in a nice dinner or weekend away to celebrate another year together.

If dating anniversaries are important to your significant other, it could be worthwhile to celebrate along with them. 

Monthiversaries and the Possibility of Overdoing It

Let’s go back to monthiversaries for a second. We’ve brought them up a lot, but it’s worth going into a little more detail. Monthiversaries can be a sweet way to show your ongoing commitment to the person you’re dating.

Still, there can definitely be too much of a good thing. Celebrating absolutely anything too often can dilute the importance of a once-a-year anniversary. 

…But if you’re celebrating monthiversaries, it’s a pretty good indicator that your significant other takes anniversaries seriously, too. In this case, yes—keeping your significant other happy means that you should consider anniversaries important while dating.

The Relationship Escalator

One thing to keep in mind about celebrating dating anniversaries is that it can be an indicator that you or your significant other wants each anniversary to be a step to the next level—marriage.

Frankly, your significant other may not want to celebrate too many dating anniversaries with you: they may be interested in celebrating for a few years before stepping things up to the next level and getting engaged.

There’s nothing wrong with commitment—obviously—but celebrating anniversaries can be an important indicator of being seen as being in it for the long haul.

Celebrating Commitment

If you are interested in eventually taking things to the next level, consider marking that special day once a year. Make them fun, exciting days that you and your significant other share together—put aside any day-to-day worries and focus on the past year together.

While you’re not obligated to propose or be proposed to on an anniversary, it’s a natural time to ask. This can be a great reason to preserve dating anniversaries as special days.

I Want to Celebrate an Anniversary—Now What?

If dating anniversaries are new to you, but you’ve decided you’d like to celebrate them, you still may not know where to start. Do you need to get an anniversary gift? How extravagant an event does it have to be? Should you have a party? 

These questions are also in the “it depends” range. But there are some basics to keep in mind: First, it’s about making the other person feel special, so make sure that however you spend the day and whatever gifts you get, keep what your significant other in mind. Will they enjoy the restaurant you picked? Is the gift you get for them something that will help them remember a special day, or have you just picked out something you would have purchased for yourself?

However you choose to celebrate—or if you choose not to celebrate—the most important thing to keep in mind is that a dating anniversary is about you and your significant other.

It should be enjoyable for you both, and it should be an event that both of you look forward to each year. Find a way to celebrate your relationship that you’ll both enjoy.


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How to Meet Singles in England https://healthyframework.com/dating/blog/meet-singles-in-england/ Thu, 13 Oct 2022 22:39:00 +0000 https://healthyframework.com/?p=30744 If you’ve been researching how to meet singles in England, you probably noted some consistent answers: online dating and bars. We get it. Online dating is particularly one of the easiest ways to connect with seemingly endless other singletons.  But we’re going beyond the big two and stretching the imagination with some other ways to ... Read more

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If you’ve been researching how to meet singles in England, you probably noted some consistent answers: online dating and bars. We get it. Online dating is particularly one of the easiest ways to connect with seemingly endless other singletons. 

But we’re going beyond the big two and stretching the imagination with some other ways to meet singles in England. Every so often, it’s fun to shake things up, leave your flat, and maybe meet that special someone doing something you enjoy

image of a couple meeting eachother on a roof in a urban area

Speed Dating with an Artistic Flair

As speed dating has been around for a while, you’ve got to figure that promoters will eventually find ways for one event to stand out from another. One is to piggyback off an existing event, so participants get a two for one.

For example, Filteroff sponsored an online speed dating event before London’s Masterpiece Art Fair. If some participants expressed mutual interest, they met IRL at the Fair. The concept takes away the when’s and where’s of moving virtual connections to in-person. 

Maybe it’s time to experiment with or revisit speed dating?!

Holidays for Singles

Do you fancy a weekend away, but your mates don’t want to leave their partners to head to the coast or explore a new village?

Your getaway could be the ticket to meeting other singles in England if you book through an agency like Solos Holidays. There are plenty of destinations like Devon, Stratford, and South Downs, and you won’t be travelling with a bunch of couples. 

At the very least, you’ll enjoy the holiday and maybe make new friends. But, who knows? You could end up walking the shore with Mr. or Ms. Right.

Hit the Floor

Do you have a wedding coming up and need to learn some ballroom dancing? Or maybe you’ve always wanted to perfect some Latin American moves? 

A dance class is a great place to meet singles anywhere in England, but only if you find the right one. The key is to call the dance studio before you register and speak to someone first. Find out the best class to take, which ones have more solo participants, and if you’re paired with another single if you register as a single. 

Some studios are better than others, so shop around first so you’ve got the whole picture. It’s a great way to meet new people, and you’ll dazzle on the dance floor at your next social event.

Singles With (and Without) Dogs

Did you know there are dating apps dedicated to dog lovers or that Tinder reports that 29% of its users include a dog in their profile image?

Your best furry companion could also be the ideal wingman. Dog parks are filled with solo dog parents and their fur babies. Having a pet is an instant conversation starter, so meeting someone is easier than just walking up to a stranger.

Pop-ups and Dogs on Loan

Tinder even capitalized on its dog-loving stats with a unique “Singles with Dogs” pop-up pub dating event in Manchester and planned similar events in London.

No dog? No problem? Borrow My Doggy lets you spend time with a loving pup, and you’re simultaneously helping out the owner.

Play Korfball

Forget about men’s and women’s teams, as Korfball is the ideal sport to meet someone special, regardless of sex. 

Supernova is a Korfball club that welcomes adults of any ability. If you’re not into playing matches, you can opt to stick to the training at the central London facility near Waterloo. Either way, when you get in the game, you have some instant connections. 

You can also check out the North-West Korfball Club Association for locations in Manchester and Liverpool.

The Singles in Epping Forest

You might meet some other singles if you venture off on your own and tackle one of the trails at London’s Epping Forest. Start anywhere and, with circular paths, you shouldn’t worry about getting lost. But maps of Epping Forest hiking trails are available on the City of London’s website.

Whether you’re a runner or opt to take a leisurely stroll, it’s a great place to meet other outdoor enthusiasts. And, if you’re solo, you’re more approachable.

Volunteer at a Theatre

We think volunteering is another great way to meet singletons in London. However, volunteering at a theatre ticks more boxes than some other non-profits.

Did you know that more than 600 people volunteer at Shakespeare’s Globe annually? That’s a large pool of theatre enthusiasts, so you’re bound to meet some interesting people. Even if that special someone doesn’t catch your eye, your new theatre friends might have some ideas for you. 

Lunchtime Concerts

Single professionals looking to meet others in the business world might succeed more on a lunchtime break. You’re bound to run into other people grabbing a quick bite, and starting a conversation in a queue is not challenging.

You can also meet singles in England if you have some events in your area, like the free lunchtime concerts at St. Martin in the Fields. In Leeds, you can check out the Lunchtime Chamber Music in Quarry Hill.

More Ideas for How to Meet Singles in England

We’ve provided a few specific ideas for meeting singles in England besides dating apps. But here are a few more possibilities you could pursue.

  • Join an amateur sports team. For example, the Manchester Softball League is co-ed and has more than 500 participants.
  • Wander a shopping centre or a marketplace, like London’s Portobello Market or the Ikea in Southampton.
  • Learn a new language (in person, not online).
  • Check out a Meetup group that interests you.
  • Take up a new hobby, like biking or rock climbing.
  • Participate in an online community outside of your favourite dating app.
  • Be open with friends and co-workers. Let them know you’re excited to meet someone, and they might have someone (or many “someones”) in mind.

Final Tips for Meeting Singles in England

The sky’s the limit with places to meet singletons when you embrace your passions and interests. Stick with what you know or love. For example, don’t volunteer at a theatre if you don’t enjoy plays and musicals or join a sports club if that’s not your thing. 

One of the best tips we can give is to develop a routine. Join an organization and attend meetings regularly. Pick a favourite restaurant or pub and return weekly (or even more often!). If you have something like lunchtime concerts near your workplace, take advantage of every performance and sit in the same place. Even if you don’t spot someone to approach, it doesn’t mean someone won’t approach you.

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10 Tips for Safe Online Dating in the UK https://healthyframework.com/dating/blog/safe-online-dating-in-the-uk/ Thu, 06 Oct 2022 06:23:00 +0000 https://healthyframework.com/?p=30749 Meeting a special someone, whether for a reason, season, or time isn’t an easy feat. So, when online dating emerged in the late 90s, singletons all over the UK quickly embraced it. The idea of scrolling through a list of prospects or, better yet, having the dating site narrow the field for you is a ... Read more

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Meeting a special someone, whether for a reason, season, or time isn’t an easy feat. So, when online dating emerged in the late 90s, singletons all over the UK quickly embraced it.

The idea of scrolling through a list of prospects or, better yet, having the dating site narrow the field for you is a gamechanger. But, while there are so many benefits of meeting new people online, it comes with unique challenges – or at least cautions. That’s why we’ve put together this handy guide with ten tips for safe online dating in the UK. 

Some tips might seem glaringly obvious, while others will have you saying, “wow, I didn’t even think about that.” Following the suggestions in this quick read can add a good measure of security whether you’re seeking a lifelong partner or a casual encounter.

picture of security cameras on a grey wall

Safe Online Dating – Before You Meet In-Person

We’re separating our tips into online communication and steps you should take when you are ready to move forward and meet IRL.

Don’t Overshare

Safe online dating in the UK is a two-way street. So, the person you’re starting to correspond with should also want to know more about you, especially to ensure you are who you say. Of course, you’re getting to know each other and want to share. But there’s no reason to tell your entire life story until you know someone better.

Is there really any reason to share your mum’s maiden name or information on your first pet? 

Find the sweet spot between telling a bit about yourself and keeping some cards close to your chest. After all, we’re talking about safety precautions, starting with how much you reveal about yourself.

Suggestion: Use this tip with your social media and online dating profiles. A bit of mystery can be appealing as well as self-protective.

Stay In the App

Keeping your conversations in your dedicated dating app is much safer until you’ve been on several dates and are getting to know someone. Most online daters, especially women, have reported receiving sexually explicit messages or harassing messages.

You’ve got some recourse as long as you’re registered with a reputable UK dating app and use it exclusively for communicating with other singles. Some providers have stringent blocking mechanisms for these situations. But, if not, you can submit a report and have them kicked off the platform. It’s not so easy with your personal email or mobile number.

Be a Detective

When you connect with new people you’re interested in, you might think of Googling them. But did you consider looking for their social media profiles and then doing a little research on their family and friends?

Your Google search might come up short. But put that Sherlock Holmes cap on and solve the mystery of who they really are. It can feel like you’re violating that person’s privacy. But we’re talking about safe online dating in the UK. So, due diligence is in order.

The Dating App Matters

Did you know that Richmond and Bexley are two of the safest areas in London? If you’re meeting people who live in those areas, there’s a greater chance that they’re reputable and aren’t out picking pockets. 

The same principle applies to online dating apps. Being discriminating about which one you use is one of the essential things you can do to keep yourself safe. There’s a massive difference between a provider like eHarmony, which has an extensive registration process and a fly-by-night, one-night-stand-driven app that’s a free for all.

Bumble, another excellent choice, is one of the UK’s most popular online dating apps. Bumble is under the Badoo umbrella, which has implemented several new safeguard measures.

A few other online dating safety considerations:

  • Never loan money
  • Review their dating profiles for multiple pics (one image only is a red flag as they might not be who they portray)
  • Expand your detective work to include LinkedIn – an employment profile matching social media is a good sign, especially if you can verify the company

Turning Safe Online Dating into Safe Offline Dating in the UK

You’ve taken all the necessary precautions by keeping things in the dating app, sharing “just enough,” and doing ample research to feel comfortable that the person you’re interested in is who they say. 

Now it’s time to take it into real-life situations with a safety-first approach.

Double (or Triple) is Excellent for Singles

One of the best approaches to a first date with someone you met online is to include friends. Suggest you each bring another couple and meet in a restaurant or public place. 

It’s a much safer approach, and your best mate can give you an unbiased opinion after the date.

Rely on Family and Friends

If you’re not bringing anyone you know on your date, tell at least one of your family members or friends where you’re going and contact them when you’re home safely. Stick to the schedule – don’t switch gears during the date and go somewhere unplanned.

Public Meeting Spot

This is one of those obvious tips but always bears repeating. There’s safety in numbers, so meet up in a public place with many people. A restaurant is a great choice if it’s in a well-trafficked area. 

Oh, and get yourself there. Don’t let someone you’ve never met come to your home or flat to pick you up. 

Throw Politeness Out the Window

It sounds odd to be impolite when you’re dating. But we’re talking about safe online dating in London and the UK, so you need to trust your gut. If you feel uneasy about your date, honour it. You can be kind and make an excuse to end the date early. 

If you’re feeling uncomfortable and you’re alone, call someone to pick you up or drive home with you.

Fully Charged Mobile (and Watch)

Your mobile opened the door to meeting your date, and it’s also one of the most important things to have with you on the date. While you probably never leave your home without it, ensure it’s fully charged. 

We also recommend wearing your smartwatch if you have one. It’s another valuable safeguard whether you’re on a date or out by yourself, especially if it’s connected to a cellular plan.

Both Eyes On One or Two Drinks

Yes, you might be nervous. After all, it’s a first date. But don’t overdo it with the cocktails. You want to keep your wits about you for safety reasons.

Another essential tip is always to keep your eyes on your drink. Don’t go to the loo and leave an unfinished drink. There are endless tales of drink spiking – more than 2,500 in England and Wales alone in the four years before the COVID lockdowns.

A few additional tips for safe dating in the UK:

  • Establish a second phone number for dating purposes only (you don’t need a second mobile to have a different phone number)
  • Have some cash in hand for emergencies
  • Only ever use highly rated UK dating apps.
  • Suggest meeting up at your local pub or restaurant where other people know you.

Safe Online Dating in the UK is a Two-Way Street

We’ve covered all kinds of easy things you can do to keep yourself safe in the wide, wonderful world of online dating. But don’t forget that your date is in the same boat and wants to feel just as secure. So, don’t be too secretive, or that could send the wrong message.

Safety is priority number one but have fun, too. Your lifelong partner could be a few clicks away!

Note: Visit the UK’s Online Dating Safety Association for more information and resources.

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How Long Does it Take to Get Over a Breakup? https://healthyframework.com/dating/blog/how-long-to-get-over-a-breakup/ Sat, 01 Oct 2022 20:38:00 +0000 https://healthyframework.com/?p=30963 Are you feeling the pain of a breakup right now? It’s tough. Even if you only dated for a short time, there is an intense feeling of loss that comes when a relationship ends. The question is, how long is it okay to feel bad? Should you be worried if you still aren’t over your ... Read more

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Are you feeling the pain of a breakup right now? It’s tough. Even if you only dated for a short time, there is an intense feeling of loss that comes when a relationship ends.

The question is, how long is it okay to feel bad? Should you be worried if you still aren’t over your break-up weeks later?

Today, we are going to look at the grieving process that comes with breaking up to learn how long it takes to get over it. You may be surprised to learn therapists have even discovered a common timeline for healing after a breakup.

If you are trying to get over your last relationship, this article is for you!

woman eating out of a bucket of ice cream depressed and sad

Tips for Breaking Up with Your Partner

If you have come to that painful realization that the relationship isn’t working out, it is better to break up. Drawing out an inevitable split just causes you and your partner to suffer longer. You will waste time that could be spent healing and finding the right partner for you.

But, breaking up is hard. It can feel like a cruel thing to do to someone you care about. So, if you need some thorough advice on how to start the conversation, check out our guide to breaking up here.

Does The Length of a Relationship Correlate to The Length of Healing After a Breakup?

There hasn’t been nearly enough research into the healing process of breaking up, but from the data we have, a few things are clear.

  1. Healing from a breakup equates to healing from the grief of loss.
  2. Everyone handles grief differently.
  3. There is no timeline for healing that is set in stone.
  4. Recovery is very different between breaking up and divorce.

Recovering from a Breakup

Recovering from a breakup is tough and the grief comes in waves. Looking through polls and discussions around the internet, it seems that the majority of people dealing with a breakup feel better after 10 weeks.

Obviously, this varies from person to person, but even therapists recommend taking a few months to heal after a breakup.

During this time it isn’t recommended to jump into another relationship because it will be difficult to see new partners for who they really are.

Recovering from a Divorce

Recovering from a divorce or separation after a long-term partnership is far more devastating than a typical breakup. Many therapists state that the healing process afterward can take up to 18 months on average. 

This is because there is a lot more to unpack in a divorce. You can’t just walk away and never think about your ex again. There are court dates, papers to sign, discussion of assets, child support, alimony, and so much more. 

It can take months to even finalize the divorce and think about beginning the healing process. 

The long recovery and the overwhelming grief that comes with divorce are the reasons therapists recommend the use of counseling services. 

The Details of Your Relationship Can Change Everything

The rules around healing from a breakup aren’t set in stone. There are people who divorce and are over it in a day and people who grieve their break-ups longer than the relationship lasted. 

The details of your personality and your relationship greatly affect these numbers. 

For instance, if you are leaving a relationship that was riddled with codependence, emotional abuse, or manipulation, you will need longer to heal. These types of breakups may even require professional therapy to get over. 

Partnerships that resulted in children can make the healing process even harder. Parents tend to avoid properly grieving to save face in front of their kids. That results in them still feeling the pain of heartache years later. 

If you are struggling with a breakup, consider seeking a counselor or support group to help work through your loss.

Is it Okay to Get Back Together After a Breakup?

It’s a question that millions have asked and nobody has a perfect answer to the question; “should I get back with my ex?”

Here’s the deal; the majority of relationships that have an element of breaking up and getting back together are not sustainable. While studies show that churning relationships (on-again-off-again) do often result in marriages, the people in those relationships report being very unhappy. 

If you and your partner have core differences that cause you to break up once, getting back together won’t solve those problems. 

However; if the issues in the relationship are thoroughly addressed and overcome, getting back together may not be a big deal. For instance, studies show that couples who deal with infidelity are more successful at maintaining their relationship if they complete a couple’s therapy program. 

This implies that taking the time to work through the issues is the only way that getting back together after a breakup can truly work. 

What If I am Still Healing From My Breakup Years Later?

There is no true timeline to healing. Some people take a little longer to get over a breakup than others. Especially if there was a betrayal or breach of trust in the relationship. 

However, there is a time when a person has to consider that they need professional help in healing from their trauma. Here are some signs that it may be time to talk to a therapist about your struggles:

  • You feel compelled to keep tabs on your ex (digitally or in real life)
  • You get uncontrollable feelings of rage
  • You have panic attacks or feel too anxious to leave the house
  • You can’t spend time around other people
  • You feel intense jealousy when looking at other couples
  • You have had or are having thoughts about self-harm or suicide

If that sounds like you, a doctor can help you get back on track to healing from your breakup. 

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Is a Movie a Bad Location for a First Date? 10 Things to Consider https://healthyframework.com/dating/first-dates/movie-good-or-bad-idea/ Fri, 30 Sep 2022 16:50:10 +0000 https://healthyframework.com/?p=31199 Watch enough romantic comedies or read enough advice articles and you’re bound to hear “dinner and a movie” on repeat when people are talking about first dates. But is a movie really a great location for a first date?  Sure, we love movies…our date probably loves movies…popcorn is delicious…has to be great, right? Well, not ... Read more

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Watch enough romantic comedies or read enough advice articles and you’re bound to hear “dinner and a movie” on repeat when people are talking about first dates. But is a movie really a great location for a first date? 

Sure, we love movies…our date probably loves movies…popcorn is delicious…has to be great, right? Well, not so fast. The most iconic and most repeated first date suggestion just might not be all that it’s cracked up to be.

Couple Watching a Movie in a Theater

In this article, we want to look at the pros and cons of a movie date and answer the ever-pressing question of whether or not a movie is a bad (or good) location for a first date. 

Dim the lights…cue the film…and let’s get rolling!

4 Pros of Going to a Movie on a First Date

Before we give you our final decision on whether or not a first date should be to the movies, we want to look at the option from both sides of the aisle. First, let’s look at some of the biggest pros of choosing to go to the movies on a first date.

1. Everyone Loves Movies 

Okay, not everyone loves movies but the large majority of people do. That means that if you select going to see a movie for the first date, the chances are it’s going to fall on the list of things your date likes to do. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to like the movie you pick, but we’ll get into that more later. 

2. It Sets a Nice Time on the Date

People are often worried about how long a first date should last. When it comes to a movie, though, that time is basically agreed upon beforehand. Both of you know that the date will last from the start of the movie to the end of the movie and then maybe to grab ice cream, go for a walk, or something like that afterward. This can alleviate some of the stress of preparing for a first date. 

3. You Don’t Have to Talk As Much

Okay, so we’re putting this a pro because a lot of people use this as the reason to choose a movie as a first date. However, it comes with a big disclaimer. As you’ll see when you read our section on the cons of a movie as the first date, this also makes that list. 

Yes, you’ll have less awkwardness and won’t have to think of as much to talk about.

However, when you really look at what the true purpose of a first date is (to see if there is compatibility with the person you’re going out with), this is not ideal. Again, though, we’re including it here for completeness.

4. Affordability

While movies aren’t as cheap as they used to be, they are still fairly cost effective in the grand scheme of things. One of the nice perks is that even if your date “orders the most expensive thing on the snack menu”, it’s not going to be that expensive. 

6 Cons of Going to a Movie on a First Date

Now that we’ve talked about the good side of the aisle, let’s head over and discuss some of the drawbacks to choosing a movie for a first date. 

1. You Don’t Get to Talk

The whole point of a first date is to get to know the person you’re going out with! If all you do is stare silently at a screen together, you’re not going to get any closer to establishing a connection and getting to know them better.

For this reason alone, movies may be one of the worst first date ideas out there.

2. There Can Be Awkward Situations in the Movie

If you’re just getting to know this person, you don’t know where they stand on certain issues. Maybe swearing or certain graphic scenes upset them? You never know. And if you’re on a date and a movie really upsets them, that could be a problem. 

3. A Bad Movie Can Give a Bad Impression

Speaking of how the movie might affect the quality of your first date, what if it’s a terrible movie? Unless it’s comically bad where you both can laugh about it together, this might make him or her think that the date was bad just because the movie was bad. That’s not what you’re looking for. 

4. Physical Contact Can be Weird

Not that there needs to be any physical contact on a first date, but sometimes it can be a subtle way of showing that you’re interested. We’re referring to things like a light tough on the back when you’re walking through a door or something like that.

These things become quite odd when you’re sitting next to each other in a dark movie theater. Pretty much anything you do could backfire pretty aggressively. 

5. Higher Probability of Seeing People You Know

There’s nothing more awkward than running into an ex or even sometimes your friends while out on a date. If you live in a smaller town where there are limited things to do on a weekend night, the odds of seeing someone you know at the movies is a lot higher.

What makes it weirder, though, is that if you’re seeing the same movie and sitting next to each other, that can just be downright awkward. If you run into them somewhere else, you can always just walk away or move somewhere else. You lose that ability in a movie.

6. There’s No Escape If It’s a Bad Date

If you’re grabbing coffee or a drink and the date is terrible, you can politely bounce out after one drink or a few minutes. However, if you’re in a movie, you might feel obligated to stick around to the end of the movie. Movie first dates don’t give you that escape route that you have for other dates when things don’t go as you expect them to. 

Our Take – Is a Movie a Good or Bad First Date Idea?

While there are some positives to the idea, here’s our bottom line answer. Going to the movies for a first date is a bad idea, mainly because it doesn’t allow you to get to know the person you’re on a date with. The entire purpose of a first date is to gauge compatibility and get to know one another. This is basically impossible sitting there in a dark room where you’re not supposed to be talking. 

It can also make it nearly impossible to know if they’re interested in a second date.

Take our advice. Choose something other than the movies for a first date.

If you’re looking for more resources on how to master the first date, make sure you check out our complete list of guides on first dates. It is absolutely packed with helpful information you’re going to want to know! 


Christian Dating in Florida

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How to Meet Singles in Scotland https://healthyframework.com/dating/blog/meet-singles-in-scotland/ Wed, 28 Sep 2022 19:33:00 +0000 https://healthyframework.com/?p=30752 Isn’t it time to give your dating app a rest and try something new and different to meet singles in Scotland? Scrolling through pictures is easy, and dating apps are proven to work. We’re obviously fans of them, as we review them for a living. But good old-fashioned meeting someone in person isn’t a thing ... Read more

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Isn’t it time to give your dating app a rest and try something new and different to meet singles in Scotland?

Scrolling through pictures is easy, and dating apps are proven to work. We’re obviously fans of them, as we review them for a living. But good old-fashioned meeting someone in person isn’t a thing of the past either. So, if you’re stuck for ideas on how to meet singles in Scotland, we’ve got some good ones for you.

couple sitting on stairs holding hands smiling

Add a Little Spice to Your Life

Dating apps are appealing because other singles are so accessible. You don’t have to wonder if that cute guy or girl you’re eyeing is available, as everyone (well, almost everyone!) in the virtual community wants to meet someone.

But there’s a similar option IRL with Spice Scotland. It’s a singles club offering all kinds of activities from pub skittles to theatre nights. 

Most of the events are in Edinburgh and Glasgow, and monthly dues are less than £10. You can even give it a try with Spice’s 30-day free trial. So, you’ve got nothing to lose and maybe a new partner to gain.

Three Cocktails

Did we catch your attention with three cocktails? If so, then you’ll love this idea. It’ll cost you about £45 and takes about an hour and a half. It’s entertaining, and you’re going to meet some fun people.

We’re talking about a cocktail-making class. The specific ones we’re referring to are in Edinburgh. But you shouldn’t have a problem finding something similar in Glasgow, Aberdeen, Dundee, or Inverness.

Not only do you get to learn a new skill, but you’re creating three masterpieces. And, with everyone sampling their creations, things should be quite social.

Fancy a Climb?

If you’re the adventurous sort, you’ll appreciate the new mountaineering club in Glasgow. 

Clyde Mountaineering Club was just established in 2022. So, you’re not joining a group filled with people that have known each other for years. 

This particular club will cost you £61 annually and focuses on 20 and 30-somethings. They venture off on mountain walks and climbs and also mix it up with social gatherings. And, when you’re hiking for hours, you’ll get to know people in the group.

There are other similar groups where you can meet singles in Scotland that aren’t quite so adventurous or limited to younger participants. Walking, biking, hiking – search your interest, and you’re bound to find something that feels right.

Take the Quiz

You probably don’t need us to tell you that pub quizzes are commonplace, but they’re also excellent events for meeting singles in Scotland.

The trick is that you have to become a regular. A one-and-done might not be enough unless you’re bold and OK walking up to other tables. But if you join the fun every week, you get to know the competition. Maybe you could propose a friendly wager with someone you’ve eyed on another team?!

It doesn’t matter where you live in Scotland, as pub quizzes are everywhere. But check out PubQuizzy for long lists of events by day and location.

One for the “Over 50s” Singles

Clyde Mountaineering Club might be geared toward singles in their 20s and 30s. However, there are plenty of other opportunities for over 50s to meet singles in Scotland.

The Raeburn Supper Club is one of the best, as it’s more of an intimate environment, but dinner isn’t the only thing on the calendar. Raeburn has been around since 1997 with singles events in Glasgow and Edinburgh, including theatre, exhibitions, lunches, etc.

Membership dues are less than £25 a month, and it’s a great way to meet like-minded people with the same intent.

Take It Slow

We’ve mentioned going on an adventure with a mountaineering club. But you can have just as much success meeting singles in Scotland with a stroll. Some of the most beautiful places are nestled within the big cities.

For example, spend an hour or two in Princes Street Gardens in Edinburgh, Glasgow Botanic Gardens, or any park or walking trail. 

When you’re looking to meet someone, leaving your mates at home is best. You’re more approachable on your own, and it’s easy to strike up a conversation about the beautiful gardens or ask a question about other similar places to visit.

Singles at the Singl-End

With its outdoor seating, dog-friendliness, and food that diners rave about, the Singl-End is an ideal place to kick back, relax, and initiate conversation. 

Singl-End has two locations in Glasgow – Garnethill and Merchant City. And, yes, we’ve focused a bit more on Glasgow, but that’s because more singles live in the area than elsewhere in Scotland.

This idea works regardless of where you live, though. Look for an outdoor café with a relaxed vibe, and, if you have a dog, people will be drawn to you (well, your dog first, then you!).

A Few More Ideas for Meeting Scottish Singles

We’ve shared seven tips for meeting singles in Scotland aside from your go-to dating app. But we’ve got a few more for you. So, no excuses!

  • Speed Dating
  • Scottish Country Dancing
  • Music and Arts Fests
  • Farmers Markets
  • Sunday Brunch
  • Classes – maybe learn a new language?
  • Join a Team
  • Business Organizations
  • Church
  • Your Neighborhood – become a regular at shops, cafes, or a pub

Be Approachable

It’s not enough to know where to go to meet singles in Scotland. You have to make yourself approachable or be bold and willing to go up to someone that catches your eye. The one thing you don’t want to do when you intend to find a date is to surround yourself with a group. 

Classes, speed dating, walks, and groups are all great ideas because you’re participating in an activity. It’s easier to get the conversation rolling when you have something specific to talk about or a question to ask.

And if all else fails, you’ve got your handy dating app standing by to assist. But maybe you want to experiment with some of its sponsored IRL events!


You Might Also Like:

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Should I Date a Homeless Person? – 9 Things to Consider https://healthyframework.com/dating/blog/should-i-date-a-homeless-person/ Tue, 27 Sep 2022 20:25:20 +0000 https://healthyframework.com/?p=31171 Just because “home is where the heart is” doesn’t mean people without a traditional home don’t deserve love. But if you’re someone with a roof over their head every night, should that keep you from dating someone who is homeless? Are there any dangers of dating someone homeless you should be aware of? While this ... Read more

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Just because “home is where the heart is” doesn’t mean people without a traditional home don’t deserve love. But if you’re someone with a roof over their head every night, should that keep you from dating someone who is homeless? Are there any dangers of dating someone homeless you should be aware of?

While this is certainly a less-covered topic, it can be an important one if you’re looking to date off the beaten path. In this guide, we’re going to cover the topic in full including what to consider if you’re thinking about homeless dating, some of the more prominent dangers to be aware of, and a few frequently asked questions.

Homeless man holding a sign saying will work for food

Questions to Decide If You Should Date Someone Who is Homeless

Maybe you didn’t expect this to happen…You met someone you’re interested in, but you also found out that they’re living on the streets. While the most important thing to always consider is safety (which we will cover in detail shortly), there are other considerations to take into account.

Let’s look at some questions you can ask yourself to help you decide if you should move forward with dating a homeless person.

  1. Do I feel safe with this? We already said it, but we will say it again. This entire decision should start with looking at safety which we’re going to cover in full in the next section. We’re just including it here again for completeness at the risk of sounding like a broken record.
  2. How long have they been on the streets? Have they been homeless for years or did they just fall on hard times and end up on the street? Generally, this can have a big effect on who they are and how they conduct themselves. The longer they’ve been homeless, the more engrained that lifestyle and the accompanying habits will be in them.
  3. Have they accepted being homeless? This is a great question if you’re really on the fence about homeless dating. Is the person someone who just fell on hard times but is working hard to get out of it? Or are they someone who is homeless and has basically decided they’re okay with being homeless? If it’s the latter, don’t expect that to change anytime soon, but if they’re just on hard times, things may change.
  4. Do I care what other people think? Don’t expect your family or even your friends to be jumping for joy that you’re dating someone who is homeless. While some people may be supportive, others may not be so quick to jump on the bandwagon. Decide if you’re okay with the flack or not.
  5. Am I okay with covering things financially? If someone is homeless, money is going to be tight.

At the end of the day, here’s the bottom line.

Whether you decide to date someone homeless or you decide it’s not for you, there is nothing wrong with that decision.

You are not a bad person if you decide you don’t want to date someone in that stage of their life. You’re also not some superhero person if you decide to date someone who is homeless. Choosing who you want to date based on something like “where they are at in their life” is okay.

Do remember this, though. Homeless people are people too. They have feelings. Many have goals. If you decide you don’t want to date them, still treat them with the dignity and respect that any human being regardless of their living situation deserves.

Dangers of Dating Someone Who is Homeless

As we have already mentioned several times, there are some safety concerns to consider when you’re thinking about homeless dating. As a disclaimer, no, we are not saying that all homeless people are dangerous. No, we are not saying that all or any of the things we’re about to talk about are true of the person you’re interested in.

But it may be, and you have to be realistic in your decision. Here are several things to pay attention to.

  • Cleanliness and Disease – Yes, we’re just jumping headfirst into all of this. Unfortunately, there are a lot of diseases that people are more susceptible to when they don’t have the ability to stay as clean or hygienic as they’d like. Again, not always the case but certainly something to be aware of.
  • Mental Illness – Many people who live on the streets are there because they have fallen on hard times. Others, though, may be there because they are suffering from a mental illness. While this is not something that disqualifies someone from love, it is something that you need to be aware of as there may be safety considerations to be aware of.
  • The Effects of Hard Times – Sometimes people who are on hard times will do anything to survive. This may mean things like theft or potentially worse. Again, not everyone, but something to consider.
  • Drug Use – Another hard fact of life on the street is that many people are there because of drug use. Additionally, many people turn to the use of hard drugs on the street to try and get through the tough conditions. While we’re not here to discuss our opinions on the use of hard drugs, there’s no debate that they often drive people to do things that are unsafe or against the law.

So, with all this said, is dating someone homeless dangerous? The answer is that it depends; some people who are just on hard times may be perfectly safe to date. However, many of the reasons that people are on the streets (mental illness, drug use, running from the law, etc.) are things that can create less than safe conditions that you may not want to be a part of.

Use your best discretion, ask the hard questions, and above all stay safe out there.

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On What Date Should You Kiss? https://healthyframework.com/dating/blog/what-date-should-you-kiss/ Fri, 23 Sep 2022 19:06:00 +0000 https://healthyframework.com/?p=30967 Whether you are an amateur in the world of dating or someone who is just getting back into the singles scene, you likely have a lot of questions. Is a movie a bad location for a first date? Which dating site should I use? Do men still pay for dinner? How do you make a ... Read more

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Whether you are an amateur in the world of dating or someone who is just getting back into the singles scene, you likely have a lot of questions.

Those are all great questions, but none of them compare to the scariest of all – How do I know it’s time to kiss them?

Times have changed (for the better). Being too aggressive with physical intimacy is a deal breaker in the modern dating game.
couple kissing in the dark

Today, we are going to take a deep look at the first kiss. If you want to learn about reading body language and maintaining boundaries, this guide is perfect for you!

Straight to The Point – Should We Kiss on The First Date?

There are some potential perks to getting the kiss out of the way on the first date.

  • You get past the awkwardness fast
  • You get early insight into physical compatibility
  • It can keep you from getting rusty

But, none of those perks are worth throwing out the emotions of your and your date. If you aren’t ready for that kiss yet, don’t have it. If your date doesn’t seem ready, don’t have it.

According to a US poll from 2019, only 67% of people said they had ever kissed on a first date! It is totally normal to wait until the time is right for everyone involved!

When Do Most Couples Have their First Kiss?

We’ve been scrounging the internet for a clear answer on when couples have their first kiss, but it turns out the answer changes constantly. It seems that while most people say it is okay to have your first kiss on the first few dates, they actually just wait until it “feels right.”

In one discussion on the social media site Reddit, a user says they waited 6 months to have their first kiss with a new partner. The post got tens of thousands of upvotes with users from all over agreeing that waiting for the perfect moment to have a first kiss is the smart choice.

Reading Body Language

The hardest part of the first kiss isn’t perfecting the technique or making sure you didn’t eat garlic at dinner. It’s reading your partner’s body language so you know it is time to initiate the kiss. This can be difficult, especially for those who struggle with reading social cues.

Don’t worry, we’ve got 5 signs that may mean it’s time to kiss your date:

  1. When you walk them to their door/car, they linger outside for a long time.
  2. They gaze into your eyes and move closer to your face.
  3. They frequently stare at your lips and/or bite their own.
  4.  They try hard to make “accidental” physical contact with you
  5. You asked them and they said “yes.”
That’s right! The easiest way to know if it is okay to kiss your date is to ask your date if you can kiss them.

What to Do if They Reject Your Kiss

You know what they say, “shoot for the moon and you’ll land among the stars.” That’s really not very true, is it? Sometimes you shoot for the moon and end up floating in space for the rest of your life.

That’s how it feels when you go in for that kiss and your date turns away or pulls back.

But, the situation doesn’t have to be awkward! If you try for a kiss and get rejected, just brush it off.

Give your date a light apology and don’t push it. If the date was going well otherwise, they probably won’t mind too much.

What if You Aren’t Ready to Kiss But They Are

Are you picking up on some body language that has you worried? The safest thing to do is let your date know you aren’t ready to kiss them. It is perfectly acceptable to just plainly state it, “I’m having a great time with you, but I want to let you know I’m not ready to be physical yet.”

If they push it or get upset, you dodged a bullet. The right partner for you will understand and respect your autonomy.

Does Kissing Lead to Sex?

Kissing can be incredibly intimate and if you’ve watched any romance movie from the 1990’s you’ve seen a passionate kiss lead practical strangers into the bedroom. 

That stereotype can trick a lot of people into fearing the first kiss. They may be ready to kiss, but they aren’t ready for sex. The thing is, kissing does not have to lead to sex. 

When it comes to physical contact, you have the right to give or deny permission at every step of the way. You may want to hold hands, snuggle, and kiss, but nothing more. Be clear with your partner about what your boundaries are. 

If they don’t respect your wishes, they aren’t worth your kisses anyway. 

What if My Date is a Bad Kisser?

Imagine it – you’ve seen the social cues, the mood is right, and now you’re leaning in for your first kiss. Your stomach flutters with joy but your excitement suddenly screeches to a halt.

Is that a dead fish you’re snogging with? No. Your date is just a terrible kisser.

It can be a real mood killer when your kiss is a letdown, but intimate kissing isn’t something we are born knowing how to do. If you want to improve the situation, try some of these tips:

  • Slow things down – They may just be too excited. Taking it slower can help them to read your cues.
  • Take the lead – If you are a better kisser, take the lead and show them how you like it.
  • Take a break – The first kiss is fueled by nervousness. Take a break and try again. The second kiss may be way better!
  • Give verbal directions – Sensually telling your date how you like to kiss is a great way to improve the experience.
  • Guide the hands – Dangling, lifeless hands can kill the mood of a kiss. If they don’t know what to do with their hands, show them!

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