The beginning of any new relationship is always exciting. You get the chance to learn all about someone new and you’re potentially getting to know the person you might spend the rest of your life with. But, are you asking the right questions?
If you’re a Christian, you might not be sure if you’re asking the right dating questions of your new potential mate. Are you really getting to know them the best way possible? Is there anything you’re forgetting?
In this guide, we want to give you some great examples of some of the Christian dating questions that you should be asking of a new potential mate. These are questions aimed at helping you to get to know them and helping you decide if they’re the right person for you to continue pursuing a relationship with.
If you’re brand new to Christian dating, we’re excited that you’re here looking to do things the right way as God intended. We do recommend that when you get a second, take a look at our Christian Dating Advice – Getting Started article.
Coupled with the information we have for you here, it’s a great resource to make sure you’re getting started dating the right way and putting yourself at the best chance for having God-driven success.
Table of Contents:
Questions to Ask Your Date
So, what should you be asking your date or person of interest that you either just started chatting with online or are going on a first date with? Well, here are some good conversation starters that we think are also important.
When we get to the end of the questions list, we’ll share a few tips and pointers about how and when to ask these.
- What denomination are you?
- Have you always been the same denomination?
- Is there anything about your particular denomination you really identify with or like?
- Where do you attend church?
- Do you attend church regularly?
- How important is your faith in your life?
- When did you become a Christian?
- Would you like to share your testimony?
- What’s the toughest part of the Christian faith for you?
- What’s the best part of the Christian faith for you?
- Have you ever dated people that were non-religious? Recently? How did that work out? (Be careful with this one as past relationships can sometimes be a touchy subject.)
- Are you involved in your church outside of just going to service?
- Do you attend a bible study?
- Are you part of a small group?
- Do your family and friends know you’re a Christian?
- Do your family and your friends support your faith?
- What does your vision for the rest of your life and your family look like? Has it always looked that way?
- Where do you stand on alcohol, sex, and drugs?
- Where do you stand on premarital intimacy?
- What does purity in a relationship mean to you?
- What are your spiritual views on finances, debt, and tithing?
- What are you most passionate about in life?
- How important of a role is prayer in your life?
- Is there anything about Christian dating that scares you?
- Is there anything about Christian dating that excites you?
The idea with these questions is to get to know them and where they are in their walk with Christ. Remember, these questions are not supposed to be an inquisition and there are no right or wrong answers. Everyone is at a different point in their walk, and it’s important for the success of your relationship to have a firm grasp on that.
Why These Questions Are Important to Ask
It can sometimes be hard for brand new Christians to date seasoned Christians who are much further along in their faith. It can work, but not always. Issues can arise because the things that singles in those different areas of their walk deal with are going to be different. Again, it’s not impossible, but it is much more challenging which makes figuring out where people stand that much more important.
These questions can help you to understand where the other person is in their faith. By understanding what is and what is not important to them, it can help you to better gauge compatibility.
Additionally, you may want someone who is at the same level of dedication to the Christian faith as you are. If you’re someone that hits up church on the holidays only, you might struggle dating someone who goes to church four or five times a week. The same in reverse is true, of course.
Again, we’re not saying it’s impossible as God works in some awesomely mysterious ways, but we’re just being realistic from what we’ve seen and experienced.
Lastly, these questions help you identify singles you may be supportive of the areas you struggle and those that could cause issues. For example, maybe you’re someone who struggles with sexual sin. If that’s you, that’s okay! However, do you think it would be smart to date someone that doesn’t care about premarital relations at all? Probably not. But it does mean dating someone who is strong in that area could be amazingly smart.
When to Ask These Christian Dating Questions
Ideally, these are questions that you should try to bring up naturally. Don’t force them as the very first thing you talk about with someone new. It’s okay to have some lighthearted chat and get to know each other on the surface level a bit before you dig into these questions.
Additionally, some of these questions are pretty heavy. It’s probably best to preface the questions as to why you’re asking. Let them know your faith is important to you and you really want to find someone that shares the same values as you. And to figure that out, it does involve talking about real things.
If they’re super uncomfortable with the questions, that’s okay. That being said, though, they might not be the right fit for you. But it also could be that they’ve never had someone be so forward, so give them some grace and understand that.
Here are a few additional tips to help get the most out of these Christian dating questions:
- Be prepared to answer the questions yourself.
- Take turns who answers the question first.
- Give them a chance to ask questions that are important to them.
- Don’t rush getting through the questions like a checklist. If one question takes a whole night, that’s okay.
- Don’t just ask the serious and heavy questions. Ask some fun ones too!
- Be okay with being serious about your faith. Christian dating is a bit different than mainstream dating, especially when it comes to the ultimate goals.
And lastly, you can spread these questions out over several dates! No need to dive into what feels like an interview or inquisition on date one (or before you even meet).
Questions to Ask Yourself
During the Christian dating process, you shouldn’t just be asking questions of your potential mate, but you should also be periodically asking yourself questions to make sure you are on the right track and staying grounded. This inward reflection can ensure you’re setting yourself (and your potential new or current partner) up for success.
These are questions that you can ask yourself in private and are great things to meditate on. Here is out list of Christian dating questions you should be asking yourself at all stages of a relationship – new or old:
- Is this person in line with what God wants for me?
- Am I still seeking God first and this relationship second?
- Have I sacrificed any of my morals or values for this relationship?
- Is this person helping or hurting my spiritual growth?
- How am I impacting my partner’s spiritual growth?
- Am I happy? Is my partner happy?
- Is there anything I could change to make this relationship more fruitful?
- Is this relationship rooted in Biblical principles and truths?
- Are there any Christian friends I can ask for an outside opinion on the quality and direction of this relationship?
- Are there things we’re doing that God may not approve of?
- Are there things we’re doing that are doing a great job of strengthening our relationship and faith simultaneously?
- Have there been any situations where we’ve been tempted to do things we know we shouldn’t?
- What can we do to avoid those situations in the future or at least be more prepared?
The purpose of these Christian dating questions are for you to make sure that you’re staying on a healthy track. It’s easy in relationships to get complacent or convince ourselves to give way on things that are usually important to us. It’s also easy to just drift if we’re not proactively approaching our faith and the quality of our relationships.
By asking yourself these questions periodically throughout the relationship, you’ll be self-aware of the direction of your relationship and its effect on your walk with God.
Questions to Ask God
The last (or arguably the first) person you should be asking question to during any stage of the Christian dating process is God. It’s important to spend time in prayer to make sure that you’re doing everything you can to follow God’s plan for your love life. Here are some of the Christian dating questions that we recommend you ask God to show you the answers to.
- Is my relationship in line with the plans you have for me and my life?
- Is there anything in my relationship that I can do differently to better your plan for my life?
- Is this person the one that you had planned for me?
- Is our relationships progressing at the right pace that you want it to?
- Is there anything I can do differently to help increase the quality of my spiritual life or spiritual growth?
- Is there anything I can do differently to help increase the quality of my partner’s spiritual life or spiritual growth?
- Is this the right time for me to be dating?
By seeking answer to these questions in prayer, in the Word, and through spiritual council, you can really set yourself up for Christian dating success!
The Wrap Up
Finding the person God has planned for you can be tough, but when you do find them it is worth every second that you spent looking for them. These Christian dating questions will help to make sure that you are doing everything in your power to help God’s plan for your love life come to fruition.
And lastly, if you are brand new to the dating scene, make sure you’re using a great Christian dating app designed for faith-focused relationships.
Written By: Jason Lee
Jason Lee is a data analyst with a passion for studying online dating, relationships, personal growth, healthcare, and finance. In 2008, Jason earned a Bachelors of Science from the University of Florida, where he studied business and finance and taught interpersonal communication.
His work has been featured in the likes of The USA Today, MSN, NBC, FOX, The Motley Fool, Net Health, and The Simple Dollar. As a business owner, relationship strategist, dating coach, and officer in the U.S. military, Jason enjoys sharing his unique knowledge base with the rest of the world.