Why Is Online Dating So Hard for Guys?

If you’re here with us today, it means you’re probably tired, frustrated, and a little annoyed at the online dating process. It seems like the ladies have it much easier and online dating for guys is much harder.

Well, let’s get something out there first. Yes, online dating is harder for guys. However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t have the same level of results as the ladies! Remember, in the heterosexual dating community, for every girl that has success dating online, there has to be a guy that is also having success.

So, knowing that online dating is harder for guys, what’s our goal today? Well, what we’d like to do is go through the reasons we feel online dating is tougher for men and then share some ways you can lower the difficulty level and start seeing some results on a level playing field.

Guy talking to girls

You’re On the Wrong Sites

The number one cause of online dating frustration with men comes from them using the wrong dating sites. If you’re using a crummy dating app that isn’t supporting the dating goals you’re trying to achieve, then you’re going to have a bad experience no matter what. It’s imperative that you join a quality dating site that matches up with what you’re trying to accomplish.

If you need some direction, here are a few of our favorites that are perfect for making online dating a little easier.

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You Have Unrealistic Expectations

Another reason that online dating may seem harder for men is based on your expectations. If you came into the realm of online dating expecting to find all perfect 10’s tripping over themselves to be with you, you’re probably having a bad time.

Generally, the types of women you have had success with in the in-person realm will be similar to the women you have success within the online realm. The one major difference is that online dating sites make it way easier to approach women and start a conversation. This is where a lot of men feel like they have more success because that aspect is a lot easier.

Additionally, finding someone special can take time. Maybe the perfect woman hasn’t joined the site just yet? Maybe she is in a busy season of life and is taking a short break? Maybe the master plan for your life is going to take a little longer to develop? Remember, you are not shopping for a new belt or a new pair of shoes. You’re looking for a person to spend potentially the rest of your life with or at least a sizeable chunk of your time. Be okay with that taking a little longer.

You Haven’t Put the Work In

Online dating works wonders but it’s not a magic potion. Speaking of the unrealistic expectations, a lot of men think that all they have to do is sign up for an account, fill in the bare minimum on their profile, and the women will start falling from the trees.

Sorry gents—while we wish that were the case, it’s not. You have to be willing to put in the work and the effort to find that special lady. And yes, you may have to put in more work and effort than the ladies, which certainly makes online dating harder for guys. However, it is what it is and if you want to see quality results, you’ll need to commit to the process.

Here are a few resources to help you out. Two of the most important things you can do are have an amazing online dating profile and have great photos of you.

You’re Sending Crummy Messages

As we’ve already mentioned, a lot of the reasons that online dating might seem harder for guys is that you’re not quite doing it right. And we don’t say this to make you feel bad or think there is anything wrong with you. The reality is that online dating is brand new to a lot of people and there aren’t a lot of great places to get training on how to do it right (we’re doing our best to change that).

While you can’t really change whether a woman is into you or not, you can give yourself the best chances possible by sending quality messages.

Here are a few resources to help:

Women Get A LOT More Messages

Sheer logistics are not working in your favor as a man dating online. While as men we might get a few messages a week, women often are getting hundreds of messages a day! What this means is that even if she would be interested in you, she can’t get to that point until she sorts through the other messages she has. Sometimes, she’ll find someone else before she gets to that point or get frustrated and take a break from dating before she even gets to your message.

Again, this is why have realistic expectations and patience are key to success in online dating for men.

Men Are Traditionally Supposed to Take the Lead

The main reason that women get so many more messages in online dating is because traditionally men are the ones expected to take the lead. What this means is that instead of reading through a bunch of messages to find a girl you like, you have to craft witty and unique messages over and over again in hopes that a girl will read your message and be interested. While the work is worth it in the end, it’s still more work and makes online dating a lot harder for guys.