Whether you are an amateur in the world of dating or someone who is just getting back into the singles scene, you likely have a lot of questions.
- Is a movie a bad location for a first date?
- Which dating site should I use?
- Do men still pay for dinner?
- How do you make a great first impression?
- What should I wear on a first date?
Those are all great questions, but none of them compare to the scariest of all – How do I know it’s time to kiss them?
Times have changed (for the better). Being too aggressive with physical intimacy is a deal breaker in the modern dating game.
Today, we are going to take a deep look at the first kiss. If you want to learn about reading body language and maintaining boundaries, this guide is perfect for you!
Straight to The Point – Should We Kiss on The First Date?
There are some potential perks to getting the kiss out of the way on the first date.
- You get past the awkwardness fast
- You get early insight into physical compatibility
- It can keep you from getting rusty
But, none of those perks are worth throwing out the emotions of your and your date. If you aren’t ready for that kiss yet, don’t have it. If your date doesn’t seem ready, don’t have it.
According to a US poll from 2019, only 67% of people said they had ever kissed on a first date! It is totally normal to wait until the time is right for everyone involved!
When Do Most Couples Have their First Kiss?
We’ve been scrounging the internet for a clear answer on when couples have their first kiss, but it turns out the answer changes constantly. It seems that while most people say it is okay to have your first kiss on the first few dates, they actually just wait until it “feels right.”
In one discussion on the social media site Reddit, a user says they waited 6 months to have their first kiss with a new partner. The post got tens of thousands of upvotes with users from all over agreeing that waiting for the perfect moment to have a first kiss is the smart choice.
Reading Body Language
The hardest part of the first kiss isn’t perfecting the technique or making sure you didn’t eat garlic at dinner. It’s reading your partner’s body language so you know it is time to initiate the kiss. This can be difficult, especially for those who struggle with reading social cues.
Don’t worry, we’ve got 5 signs that may mean it’s time to kiss your date:
- When you walk them to their door/car, they linger outside for a long time.
- They gaze into your eyes and move closer to your face.
- They frequently stare at your lips and/or bite their own.
- They try hard to make “accidental” physical contact with you
- You asked them and they said “yes.”
That’s right! The easiest way to know if it is okay to kiss your date is to ask your date if you can kiss them.
What to Do if They Reject Your Kiss
You know what they say, “shoot for the moon and you’ll land among the stars.” That’s really not very true, is it? Sometimes you shoot for the moon and end up floating in space for the rest of your life.
That’s how it feels when you go in for that kiss and your date turns away or pulls back.
But, the situation doesn’t have to be awkward! If you try for a kiss and get rejected, just brush it off.
Give your date a light apology and don’t push it. If the date was going well otherwise, they probably won’t mind too much.
What if You Aren’t Ready to Kiss But They Are
Are you picking up on some body language that has you worried? The safest thing to do is let your date know you aren’t ready to kiss them. It is perfectly acceptable to just plainly state it, “I’m having a great time with you, but I want to let you know I’m not ready to be physical yet.”
If they push it or get upset, you dodged a bullet. The right partner for you will understand and respect your autonomy.
Does Kissing Lead to Sex?
Kissing can be incredibly intimate and if you’ve watched any romance movie from the 1990’s you’ve seen a passionate kiss lead practical strangers into the bedroom.
That stereotype can trick a lot of people into fearing the first kiss. They may be ready to kiss, but they aren’t ready for sex. The thing is, kissing does not have to lead to sex.
When it comes to physical contact, you have the right to give or deny permission at every step of the way. You may want to hold hands, snuggle, and kiss, but nothing more. Be clear with your partner about what your boundaries are.
If they don’t respect your wishes, they aren’t worth your kisses anyway.
What if My Date is a Bad Kisser?
Imagine it – you’ve seen the social cues, the mood is right, and now you’re leaning in for your first kiss. Your stomach flutters with joy but your excitement suddenly screeches to a halt.
Is that a dead fish you’re snogging with? No. Your date is just a terrible kisser.
It can be a real mood killer when your kiss is a letdown, but intimate kissing isn’t something we are born knowing how to do. If you want to improve the situation, try some of these tips:
- Slow things down – They may just be too excited. Taking it slower can help them to read your cues.
- Take the lead – If you are a better kisser, take the lead and show them how you like it.
- Take a break – The first kiss is fueled by nervousness. Take a break and try again. The second kiss may be way better!
- Give verbal directions – Sensually telling your date how you like to kiss is a great way to improve the experience.
- Guide the hands – Dangling, lifeless hands can kill the mood of a kiss. If they don’t know what to do with their hands, show them!