Pros and Cons of Dating a Military Man or Woman

By: Jason Lee

Service. Respect. Patriotism. Confidence. According to a data study conducted by The Harris Poll, a military officer is the highest respected and most prestigious profession in the U.S. And while not directly mentioned in the study, that certainly extends to enlisted personnel as well. With that information, who wouldn’t be excited about dating a military man or woman!

If you’re considering dating someone in the armed forces, we’ve got some important information for you today. We want to highlight some of the great things about dating someone in this profession, but we also want to look at some of the less-obvious things that aren’t that great. When you look at the pros and cons of dating a military man or woman, you can best prepare yourself to have a successful relationship with no surprises!

Military man with his child in the woods

Where to Meet a Military Man or Woman

Before we get into the pros and cons of dating a military man or woman, we want to cover one quick thing. Are you looking to meet someone in the military? Does the idea of dating a man or women in uniform sound like something interesting to you?

As you’ll see when we talk about the pros of dating someone in the military, there are a lot of perks! If that’s you, we’d encourage you to check out our list of the best military dating apps out there.

Pros of Dating a Military Man or Woman

Military Men and Women Understand Respect

The military is all about respecting yourself, others, your country, and your community. This means that one of the biggest pros of dating a military man or woman is that they’re going to be respectful. They’ll have respect for you, your family, your kids, your pets, your possessions, and your relationship. There aren’t any other organizations in the world that teach respect as effectively as the U.S. military does.

Soldiers are Required to Stay In Shape

Do you want your man or woman to stay in shape? Well, if you do, you’re going to like the fact that the military requires its soldiers to stay within certain height and weight requirements. Additionally, every branch of service has physical fitness testing requirements that require them to work out and stay healthy. You won’t have to worry about your soldier “letting themselves go” because they’re literally not allowed to.

Job Security and Great Benefits

One of the biggest perks about being in the military is that you have incredible job security. You’re not going to walk into work and randomly find out that your position has been eliminated. People sign contracts with the military and unless they do something really terrible to get kicked out, the job is theirs to keep.

This can be great if you’re considering starting a family or looking for financial security with your relationship.

Additionally, being in the military comes with great benefits like great pay, medical benefits (Tricare), education benefits, and family support programs only available to soldiers. And if you end up marrying the soldier, you get access to many of those benefits too!

Their Job is Exciting

The military does some really cool stuff. Regardless of being Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines, or Coast Guard, military men and women do some really exciting things. What this means is that you’ll always have interesting things to talk about and you’ll get to live vicariously through that excitement!

Cons of Dating a Military Man or Woman

Long Hours and They Can’t Call in Sick

Many times the military asks a lot of their soldiers. This can mean really long days that can turn into overnights or literally whatever the military needs. Unlike a traditional job, the military is able to require soldiers to work as many days and as long as they need. It’s demanding, but it’s what the soldier signed up for.

And unlike a traditional job, you can’t just call in sick when you don’t feel like going to work. This means you can expect some uncertainty of when your soldier comes home every day and what a “normal” week looks like.

Deployments Do Happen

While it’s ideal that a man or woman in the military never has to deploy, it’s not always the case. The military does regularly deploy its soldiers to all corners of the world. And when this happens, you most likely can’t go with them. This means you might be away from your soldier for up to a year at a time.

Yes, you more than likely will be able to talk to them at some points via Skype or the phone, but that’s not guaranteed. It’s just the nature of the beast sometimes and certainly one of the major cons of dating a military man or woman.

Their Job Can be Emotionally Taxing

Being in the military can be stressful. Even if they’re not off on a deployment or in combat, the day to day can be stressful. What this means is that your soldier may come home emotionally drained after a tough day or field training exercise (FTX). This can be a great opportunity for you to be supportive! But if you’re someone who needs a lot of emotional TLC yourself, you may have some days where there are additional challenges.

Timeliness and Details Matter

This is actually something that could be a pro or a con for dating a military man or woman. The military drills in the importance of being on time (which is 15 minutes early) and paying attention to the correctness of small details.

On one hand, this makes for a highly productive person who is always on time and gets the job done well. On the other hand, they may become annoyed when you or someone else doesn’t live up to the same standard. Some soldiers are able to compartmentalize this well, but some have it so ingrained that it could bleed into their personal lives and your relationship.



Written By: Jason Lee

Jason Lee is a data analyst with a passion for studying online dating, relationships, personal growth, healthcare, and finance. In 2008, Jason earned a Bachelors of Science from the University of Florida, where he studied business and finance and taught interpersonal communication.

His work has been featured in the likes of The USA Today, MSN, NBC, FOX, The Motley Fool, Net Health, and The Simple Dollar. As a business owner, relationship strategist, dating coach, and officer in the U.S. military, Jason enjoys sharing his unique knowledge base with the rest of the world.