Before we get started, we want to say that we believe it’s completely okay to want to date someone who you are attracted to. For some reason, people like to call you shallow if you take into account someone’s attractiveness level. This is simply not true.
Now, if that is all that you take into account, then you probably would fall into that shallow category. Depending on what you’re looking for online, though, that might be okay with you. We’re not here to judge 🙂
What we want to talk about today are accounts that don’t have pictures posted. When we first got into the industry, we assumed that these accounts were usually spam accounts or were accounts from people who weren’t very attractive and were trying to hide their looks from the other daters. Boy, were we wrong.
When We Realized We Were Wrong
We didn’t realize that we were way off base until we had a conversation one day with one of our staff members. We commented about profiles without photos and how they should just be ignored, and this staffer (who we will call John for now) immediately jumped in to correct us. You see, John informed us that some of the most attractive women he had ever gone out with through online dating were from profiles that didn’t have photos.
When John told us this, we began asking around. It didn’t take us long to realize that we were so, so wrong. Apparently, there is a trend out there where very attractive individuals create online dating profiles and choose not to post photos. In fact, there were perfect 10s out there that had profiles out there without pictures.
Why Wouldn’t They Post Photos
The next logical question we wanted to get answered was why on Earth anyone who was so easy on the eyes would want to hide that from the world. We eventually found a few very attractive women who had no photos posted who were willing to answer this question for us. Each woman we asked had the exact same answer.
Apparently, if you’re a very attractive person and you post your photos up, a few things are going to happen. One, a lot of people you chat with aren’t going to think you are real. Two, you’re going to get bombarded with an obnoxious level of messages from every single member of the opposite (or same) sex on the site. While this sort of attention might sound great to some of us, it apparently gets annoying fast and is not very conducive to finding a quality mate.
Basically, these women we spoke to decided they would wait to share their looks until they talked to someone for a little while and realized they were comfortable with sharing their photos. This ensured that they were talking to someone of substance who was not just out to talk to them because they were attractive.
What You Should Take Away From This
We want to make it clear that not every person without photos online is a perfect 10. In fact, we’d even go as far as to say that most of the people without photos posted aren’t comfortable with the way they look and might not be as easy on the eyes. However, hidden within these photo-less profiles are some men and women that are real catches.
They may be business professionals or semi-famous people who can’t have their faces shown to the other members publically without some discretion. They might be gorgeous people (on the outside) that don’t want an overload of attention or people just after them for their looks. There are countless reasons that very attractive people might not have photos posted on their online dating profiles.
So, here’s the takeaway. When you are searching through online dating profiles, don’t immediately jump to sorting to only see profiles with photos. Give the profiles without photos a chance as well. We’ve found that if they mention somewhere in their profile that they have photos they can send you after you talk for a while, this is usually a good sign they aren’t trying to hide anything.
If the profile details someone you would be genuinely interested in, send them a message and chat for a few. If they send you their photo and you’re not attracted, that’s okay. You only invested a few minutes of your time, and you can move on to someone else. You can be polite and just say that they aren’t your type.
But, if they happen to be a real knockout, you may have stumbled on a diamond in the rough that most online daters are overlooking just because they don’t have a photo posted on their profile.
Some Next Steps
Written By: Jason Lee
Jason Lee is a data analyst with a passion for studying online dating, relationships, personal growth, healthcare, and finance. In 2008, Jason earned a Bachelors of Science from the University of Florida, where he studied business and finance and taught interpersonal communication.
His work has been featured in the likes of The USA Today, MSN, The Motley Fool, Net Health, and The Simple Dollar. As a business owner, relationship strategist, dating coach, and officer in the U.S. military, Jason enjoys sharing his unique knowledge base with the rest of the world.