Life would be so much easier if everyone was honest about who they are, what they’re looking for, and how they treat people. This would be especially important in the world of dating and online dating. Finding a good man on a dating site may seem like an impossible task, but it doesn’t have to be! While there are some duds and landmines out there worth avoiding, there are some truly incredible guys ready to treat you the way that you deserve to be.
This brings up an important question, though. How do you spot a good man on a dating site? Are there things to look for that can tell you who is worth talking to and who should be blocked and avoided like the plague?
The answers to both questions are yes and yes! That’s what we’re going to get into today.
An Upfront Disclaimer About Finding a Good Man Online
The first thing we want to do before we get into the tips on how to spot a good man on a dating site is properly set expectations. Unfortunately, there are no 100% accurate ways to tell the good guys from the bad guys just by looking at their profile. If we’re really being honest, there isn’t even a 100% fool-proof way to do that when you meet someone in person!
We don’t share that to get you down or disappointed because there is good news. There are absolutely things that you can look for that will indicate a higher likelihood of a man on a dating site being a good man. There are also things you can look for that will indicate a higher likelihood that the man is not worth your time.
All we’re trying to point out is that people can lie and some people are pretty deceitful. But with the things we share today, you should be able to greatly increase your chances of finding a good man online and greatly decrease your chances of wasting time on a guy that isn’t worth your effort.
11 Ways to Spot a Good Man on a Dating Site.
With the disclaimer out of the way, it’s time to dive into the meat and potatoes of this article. Here are several things you can look for that may increase the likelihood that the guy is a good guy and worth talking to.
The best way to approach these tips is as a whole. Just because a guy doesn’t check all of these boxes doesn’t mean he’s not a great guy. But the more boxes that he does check, the higher the likelihood that you’ve found a good one.
- He has a fully filled out profile. – Good men understand the important of putting in effort. If a guy doesn’t even put in the energy to fill out his profile completely, do you think he’s going to put in effort dating you? Probably not.
- His pictures aren’t only of him out partying. – There is nothing wrong with having a party phase. However, when people say they’re looking to spot a good man on a dating site, they’re generally looking for a more serious relationship. And while you can still party and be in a serious relationship, those two are a bit more like oil and water than we’d like.
- His pictures aren’t of him with a lot of other single women. – Again, there is nothing wrong with having female friends. However, a slideshow full of pictures with other single women can be a red flag that he’s a playboy who likes to date around. If that’s what you’re looking for, cool. However, that rarely fits the definition of a good man that we here from people asking for this information. Additionally, even if the pictures are harmless, you do have to notice that he didn’t have the wherewithal or social intelligence to realize that might not be the best of ideas.
- His pictures don’t show him doing something you disapprove of. – If you’re not looking for a guy who lives a particular lifestyle, look for signs of those things in his pictures. If you see things you disagree with, he might still be a good guy, but he might not be the right guy for you.
- His dating profile talks about hobbies and goals. – You can tell a lot about a person based on how they spend their time. If he says he loves going out, hitting the bars, and that’s about it—he might still be in a party phase. If he talks about things like family, pets, passions, volunteering, fitness, and other traits you’d attribute to a guy with his head on straight, that’s what you’re looking for.
- He’s on the right kind of dating site. – There’s nothing wrong with casual dating if that’s what you’re looking for. However, when someone says they want to know how to spot a good man on a dating site, they’re usually looking for something committed. While there are probably great guys on sites like Tinder, it’s probably going to be a bit more needle in a haystack than you’re looking for. Dating apps for real relationships are a much better place to be looking.
- His relationship goals are in line with yours. – If he says he’s “looking to have some fun” or “wants to meet a lot of new people” or is “ready to paint the town red,” that might be a red flag of someone who is more concerned with having fun than he is with functional and healthy relationships. If he talks about looking to meet someone special or someone to experience life with, these are more positive things we like to see.
- He doesn’t talk about the physical characteristics of what he’s looking for. – We have absolutely no problems with people knowing what they find attractive. We would never advise someone to date someone they’re not attracted to. That all being said, it doesn’t take a lot of social intelligence to know that’s not really something you put on your profile.Whether the man means for it to come across negatively or not, it’s not a good look.
- He doesn’t use any derogatory remarks about women. – It’s surprising that some men on dating sites are this stupid, but it happens. If a man uses any derogatory remarks about women (even as a joke), he’s not going to be worth your time. You can only imagine what he’s willing to say in private if he’s willing to say those things in public.
- He has pictures with his family. – As we mentioned, a man doesn’t need to have all of these things to be a good candidate to go out with, and this is one where that’s really important. Some good men want to keep their family private from their dating life, at least until they meet someone they think is special. This is 100% okay. So, just because a guy doesn’t have family pictures doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong. But if he does have family pictures (especially ones with like his mom or sisters), that can be a good sign of healthy relationships.
- You get a good vibe. - Online dating is one of those arenas where trusting your gut when it tells you something is wrong is usually a smart play. If you read through his profile and you don’t feel like you spotted a winner, you are probably right. If anything rubs you the wrong the way, move on to someone else. There are so many single men online; there’s no reason to waste your time with someone that very well may be not what you’re looking for.
How Do I Know for Sure He’s a Good Man?
As we mentioned before, there is no way to know if a man is a good man just by looking at his dating profile. The only way to know for sure is to get to know him better and start seeing him in person. As you start to see things like how they treat you, how they act in person, and whether or not the claims they make check out, you’ll start to get a much clearer picture of the quality of man they are.
It would be great if there was some way to know 100% for sure before going out with someone, but that’s just not grounded in reality. What you can do, though, is do your best to give yourself the best chances to go out with more potential winners than losers.