How to Make a Cougar Like You: 9 Proven Methods

There is absolutely something intriguing, sexy, and exciting about the prospect of dating an older woman. Generally, these cougars come with way less drama, know how to treat you right, and have life experience they can share.

But making a cougar like you is not the same as making a girl your own age like you. They have different interests, likes, and dislikes. And because of that, it means you need to approach the situation with a different strategy. In this guide, we’re going to walk you through exactly how to make a cougar like you and how to keep them interested.

Cougar woman working out

1. Look in the right places.

Not every older woman is interested in dating younger men. Because of this, you need to make sure you’re looking in places where cougars tend to congregate. Bars with upscale happy hours, workout classes, and professional events are great places to start.

But the best place to find a cougar is through a cougar dating site. There are dedicated online apps that help to connect young men like yourself and older women interested in a cougar-cub relationship.

Here are a few of our favorites where you can get started now with a free trial.

RankSiteFree Trial LinkBest For
#1Elite SinglesFree TrialEducated Women and Men
#2ZooskFree TrialMost Single Women
#3SugarBookFree TrialSugar Mamas
#4eHarmonyFree TrialSerious Relationships
#5CougarLifeFree TrialCougar Dating Only
#6PassionFree TrialMature Dating

2. Carry yourself with a strong sense of maturity.

Cougars do like younger men because they’re more active, adventurous, and know how to have a good time. However, the fastest way to turn off an interested older woman is to be immature. Perverted jokes, swearing, and acting a fool might slide by with girls your own age. But if you’re really interested in learning how to make a cougar like you—it starts with maturity beyond your years.

3. Leave the drama at the door.

Speaking of maturity, a key piece of that puzzle is leaving the drama at the door. Older women don’t want to date someone that brings more stress into their lives. They’re looking for fun and excitement, not more headaches. If you have some drama in your personal life, it’s time to take care of it or at least leave it at the door when you’re working on meeting a cougar.

4. Don’t make age an issue.

Cougars often date younger men to feel younger themselves. How well do you think that’s going to go over if you constantly bring up that they’re older than you? In case you missed it—not well. The best advice to make a cougar like you is to avoid bringing up the age discussion at all. If she brings it up, you can just say it’s not a big deal to you or that you find women more seasoned in life attractive. Notice we didn’t say we find older woman attractive—we find women seasoned in life more attractive.

5. Dress appropriately.

No, you don’t have to dress like your dad or your grandpa to attract an older woman. However, you do need to dress with a little class, especially if you’re going out to nicer dinners or bars. This means opt for the polo or button down instead of the t-shirt with holes in it. It means opting for pants at dinner instead of shorts and flip-flops. And it probably also means leaving the ball cap and jerseys in the closet.

Most importantly, it means making sure your clothes are cleaned, not wrinkled, and without holes or stains.

6. Treat her with respect.

Spoiler alert—you should treat any woman with respect, no matter what her age is. The reason we put the point here is that cougars are more prone to calling you out on your BS than a younger girl might be. Make sure you’re doing things respectfully because she’s going to notice and not only will it keep you from getting booted to the curb, but it will also earn you brownie points.

What are some examples of what we’re talking about? This can include things like always being on time, not cussing around her, getting her chair in the restaurant, following through on what you say you’re going to do, getting her car door when she rides with you, listening to her when she speaks, and not trying to turn everything into a sexual discussion.

7. Be okay with baggage.

Cougars by definition have lived more life than you. This means there’s more time for them to have been divorced, had kids, or anything else that might happen to someone in their life. If you’re not going to be okay with this, you can stop your search on how to make a cougar like you right now because it’s not the relationship type for you.

8. Don’t try to be an old man.

If she wanted to date an older man who acted like an older man—she’d date an older man. Part of what attracts a cougar is the things that make you young. Yes, as we mentioned, it doesn’t include the negative traits many young men possess, but it does include the fun and spontaneity she probably is excited about.

9. Have fun with the process.

The number one way to make a cougar like you is to be fun to be around. If she enjoys her time with you, any issues with an age gap are going to fade away fast. Make sure you keep this at the forefront of your mind when you’re hanging out and making plans. You don’t have to be a court jester or afraid to have serious conversations, but just make sure you’re not a drag on her time.