Authenticity and personal charm should be enough to help you navigate the dating world and find the person of your dreams, right? Well…maybe yes, maybe no. Sure, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but if you’re dating online, you may want to consider what other daters are looking for online and whether you need an assist in getting your profile up to snuff.
Some Things To Consider
Making a dating profile is a total headache, no matter who you are. The idea of hiring someone to do it for you can be appealing. There are pros and cons to getting professional input and doing the work yourself. Here are some things to consider:
Pros On Professional Profiles
Wouldn’t it be great to just snap your fingers and have the perfect profile appear out of nowhere? That’s not going to happen, but hiring a professional to help you put your profile together is about as close as you’ll get. If you’re a busy person, providing your info to a skilled writer who can put your charms, likes and dislikes into one perfect package can definitely be worth it.
Note that mention of a skilled writer. No matter how talented you are in other fields, not everyone is a writer. Some people are just naturally talented writers, and paying them to do what they do best (and you do worst) makes perfect sense.
Even if you are a skilled writer, we live in a society where many of us are taught to be humble about our accomplishments—and one where too much bravado gives the wrong impression. Providing a bit of background info to a good professional writer can provide an objective outline of who you are without coming across as either too self-effacing or overly full of yourself.
Some professional profile packages will also help you with new photos. This is a huge check in the plus column. Not everyone is a great photographer, and even selfies can only go so far. Plus, let’s not kid ourselves: we can all spot an app-filtered photo from a mile away. Photography is yet another reason it can be worth hiring a pro.
The Cons of Contracting Out
While there are some real-deal benefits of hiring a pro to give your profile a polish, there’s nobody who knows the real-deal on you better than…well, you. While it’ll take a little time and won’t be your favorite thing to do, here are some arguments for taking the task on yourself.
Authenticity is key. You want people to get to know the real you, and no matter how skilled a writer you hire, they still won’t get “you” down perfect. Even if they’re close, are you going to be clear enough on what’s in your pro-profile to be able to have a conversation with someone who specifically references something in there?
A pro writer is only as good as the questions they ask. A professional profile business will have a template for how they approach your profile. Don’t take it as cold or lazy—it’s just how a business is run.
They’ll likely ask you in person or through an online form to fill out basics like height, eye color, what kind of person you’re looking for, hobbies. They’re all important to include, but they don’t capture your true voice. Voice is a huge part of conveying personality. Is your sense of humor deadpan or ultra goofy? That’s tough for a stranger to convey on your behalf.
Then there’s the double-edged sword of professional photos. While they’re likely to be more attractive than ones you or a friend would take yourselves, they may be a little too slick. That could make you look a little self-absorbed or even fake—trying too hard.
A well-taken professional photo will show you in your best light, but won’t change your appearance (nor should it!). Something super-slick could make you come off as a wannabe social media influencer, and that’s definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, especially when you’re looking for something long term.
Plus, let’s talk about the cost. There’s nothing wrong with professionals being compensated fairly for their work. They have to make a living too, and you’re paying them because you like the work they do. Still, how committed are you to the dating process? If you don’t mind waiting for someone who doesn’t require a flawless profile before a first date, there’s no harm in seeing how you do with a self-made profile and hiring a professional later if your own efforts don’t pay off.
Phone A Friend
In the meantime, hit up your friends—not for free; offer to buy them a pizza—if you’re really stumped and they’re patient enough. Remember, it’s no longer the nineteenth—or even twentieth!—century. This is digital, not film. You’re allowed to take more than one photo to try to get it right. Plus, having a friend or two around will help you relax, and the conversation you’ll have during the process will bring about a more genuine response.
This tip goes for writing, too. While it’s not the same as you drafting it yourself, having a friend answer the profile questions for you is a great way to take away the stress and anxiety of the process. You’re always free to edit the answers before you publish your profile—and you probably should, especially if your friend is a bit of a joker. Plus, for most people, editing is much easier than writing something from scratch. It’s part of why dating apps provide writing prompts in the first place!
Whichever route you choose, go ahead and relax a little. Meeting the right person takes time, and getting a leg up doesn’t mean you’ll find the right person any sooner. It can mean catching the attention of a few more people a little more quickly, and that can be a plus. Not having a professional dating profile won’t put you on the sidelines, but it can’t hurt, either.