If you are single and pregnant, you’ve likely felt the stress of going on dates and meeting new people. You may think, “Should I tell them I’m pregnant?” “Will they think I am chasing a daddy for my baby?” or any number of questions.
Or maybe you’re too unsure about things to even go on a date with someone? Maybe someone told you that pregnant women aren’t allowed to date so you tossed in the proverbial towel?
Today, we’re going to address this question and give you our reasoning as to why.
Bottom Line Up Front – Can You Still Date When Pregnant?
Pregnant singles have just as much right to get out there and date as anyone else. There is nothing wrong with continuing to seek out love and relationships while you’re pregnant. We repeat—you are absolutely good to go to get out there and date while you’re pregnant.
Here are three reasons why.
1. There is nothing wrong with you because you’re pregnant.
You are not suddenly damaged goods or anything like that because you’re bringing life into the world. Yes, there are going to be some people who don’t want to date you because you’re pregnant, and that’s okay—that is their right. But don’t ever let any of them tell you something is wrong with you because you’re pregnant.
2. There are plenty of people who are open to dating someone who is pregnant.
Seriously, there are a lot of people that are onboard with dating someone who is pregnant. They all have their reasons (and you’ll need to be a little careful of fetishist), but there are plenty of them. Sometimes they like the idea of maybe being part of a family one day…sometimes they just don’t care one way or the other as long as you are awesome.
3. Seriously, some people just don’t mind or care.
We just mentioned this but it deserves its own bullet point. There are plenty of people out there that don’t mind at all if you’re pregnant. Often, you can build it up heavily in your mind and start to think that it’s going to be a bigger deal to other people than it really is. This can lead you to step out of the dating game incorrectly.
4. Here are some statistics about dating while pregnant.
- 40% of all 2019 births in the United States are to unmarried women.1
- 86% of single pregnant women think they will be judged on a date for being pregnant.2
- Only 37% of single pregnant women say they won’t have sex with a new partner while dating.3
- Only 19% of single pregnant women said they feel as confident and secure in themselves as they did before getting pregnant.4
- Center for Disease Control (CDC), https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/unmarried-childbearing.htm, 2021.
- Baby Centre UK, https://www.babycentre.co.uk/a25017593/bumpy-road-to-love-if-youre-pregnant-and-single, 2015.
The bottom line is that yes, you can date while you’re a pregnant mom. That all being said (and being true), the way dating looks when you’re pregnant will be a bit different than if you weren’t.
In the remainder of this guide, we’re going to break all of that down for you.
Best Sites to Use if Dating While Pregnant
If you’re ready to get back out there, here are some of our favorite dating apps for pregnant moms. Online dating is really a great way to quickly let people know you’re pregnant and find out if they’re interested still and if it’s something they’re okay with. This will save you A LOT of time.
5 Things to Remember When Dating While Pregnant
As mentioned, dating is going to need to be a little different for you when you’re pregnant. This should be something you expected and are hopefully ready for. It doesn’t mean that it’s going to be worse, it’s just going to be.
Here are five things you should know before you get back out there.
1. You Need to Know When and When not to Share Information
It is important to be honest about the things that can affect your partners. If you approach dating with a serious mindset and claim to be seeking long-term romance, it is important to be honest about your pregnancy from early on.
If you are only looking for flings and plan to never see your partner again, then you can be a little more reserved with the information you release.
2. Embarrassing Moments Are Going to Happen
Your body is changing all the time. I speak from experience when I say that you can prepare for a nice night out all you want, but your body has a mind of its own when it comes to remaining clean and pleasant smelling.
From gas to sweat and leaking urine, there are a lot of things trying to make their way out of your body, which can be very embarrassing.
You can try to navigate some of these problems by wearing panty liners or period underpants, carrying extra deodorant, having a spare set of clothes, or doing a ton of other prep work. However, at the end of the day the best approach is just to involve yourself with understanding partners who are willing to overlook a few social faux pas!
3. Libido Will Come and Go as it Pleases
Some people like to say that your sexual interest may be dull in the first trimester and spike in the second, but the truth is that your hormones can shift rapidly at any time. You may be gearing to go in the morning and be exhausted and over it by the end of your date.
This can make casual hookups a bit more difficult, but dating for the potential of long term romance shouldn’t be too terribly phased. After all, if your partner is someone you plan to be with for the long haul, they need to be understanding of your needs and take a sudden “no” to sexy time with grace.
4. Pregnancy Fetishes are, Unfortunately, a Thing
Okay, so some people may be super into the idea of being fetishized for being pregnant. To that we say, “hey! You do you!” However, if you are uncomfortable with the idea that matches may contact you only because you are pregnant, avoid using bump photos on your profile. Also avoid including information about being pregnant on your bio.
5. You Don’t Have to Seek Marriage Just Because You are Pregnant
It is totally okay to want to just hook up with someone, have a good time, and move on. You don’t have to be looking for another parent to take on raising your child! There can be a lot of unnecessary shame wrapped up in being single and pregnant, but you don’t need to feel that way.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to enjoy yourself as long as you are keeping you and your baby safe.
Should you go out and get drunk and hop into a mosh pit while pregnant? No, probably not.
Should you satisfy your sexual needs and maintain your autonomy as a free woman? Absolutely!
The Golden Rules for Staying Safe While Pregnant and Dating
- Don’t mention your pregnancy in your bio if you want to avoid fetishists.
- Never meet your matches in a private place or a place that makes you uncomfortable.
- Always let a trusted friend or family member know where you are going when meeting a match.
- Tell that same friend or family member when you should be home from your date and give them a call or text when you make it home safely.
- Never have unprotected sex while pregnant (or while not pregnant, to be fair)!
Should I Tell Them I’m Pregnant Before the First Date?
If you are early in your pregnancy, you may be able to get away with not telling your date about your pregnancy. However, if you plan on potentially being with your match for a long period of time, it is in your best interest to disclose the info early on. You don’t want to get 6 months in, fall in love, and then find out your pregnancy is a deal breaker. Additionally, a lot of people will view withholding this information as deceitful.
Final Take: It is Totally Okay to Look for Love While Pregnant!
We know that it will still feel scary to get out there in the dating game while pregnant. The influx of hormones and every-shifting emotions definitely doesn’t help!
Still, we hope that you are able to see that you have every right to enjoy your life and look for romance, no matter your current state. Single parents with multiple kids find love every single day, so why can’t you?