There’s no shame in saying it: if you’ve put in the hours of study time it takes to earn an advanced degree, there’s a good chance you’re looking for a partner who’s also spent time hitting the books. But stodgy alumni dinners don’t make for a romantic mood—and if you weren’t attracted to a classmate when you were students together, there’s a good chance you still won’t feel a spark. So, if you’re looking for singles as highly educated as you are, you may need an assist in the form of an app.
It may be news to you, but don’t feel strange about going online to meet someone new. Depending on how seriously you’ve taken your studies, you may not have been an active dater since your undergrad! Not to worry. There are plenty of intelligent, successful, attractive, highly-educated singles in the same boat.
Treat dating apps as you would the beginning of a research project: log on, see who’s out there, and observe. Once you’ve gotten the lay of the land, start reaching out to others who share your interests—academic or otherwise.
Be yourself—your smart, highly educated self. Arrogance is a turn-off, but be proud of your accomplishments and don’t be afraid to talk about them. If you’ve published a book recently, mention it. But don’t live in the past; dating is still very much a “but what have you done lately?” scenario. The only way to find someone who shares your passions is to be open about what those passions are.
The Best Dating Apps for Highly Educated Singles
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What Makes a Great Dating App for Educated Singles?
- Sort by Level of Education
- Singles From All Types of Schools
- Plenty of Room for a Bio
- Plenty of Pictures
Sort by Level of Education
A great site for highly educated singles will let you filter profiles based on how far up the academic ladder a dater has climbed. Not every highly educated person will have the advanced degree to show for it, but filtering your search for someone with a Master’s degree or above is a good bet for finding someone who values their education as much as you do.
Singles From All Types of Schools
If you and your date went to rival schools, it can be tough to swallow if you’re a die-hard alumnus. Conversely, maybe you’re up for the challenge. It could be fun to root for rival teams come game day!
Plenty of Room for a Bio
You have an advanced degree. You’re a reader by nature. A pretty face only goes so far, so seek out an app that allows you plenty of text to tell your story. Letting the world know who you are is important on any dating app, but if you’re appealing to highly educated singles, you’re looking for “word people.”
Don’t be afraid to go into detail about why your education is important to you, and how it influences your social life. So make the most of the space you’re given to let potential suitors know your interests—academic and otherwise.
It may feel a bit high school for someone with a Master’s or a PhD, but instead of spending hours swiping, spend a few minutes answering a few questions that will help narrow your compatibility search from the start.
Plenty of Pictures
Let’s face the facts: no matter how intelligent you are or how sapiosexual (physical attraction to another’s intelligence) your leanings, people often still have a physical type. Even in a niche world like academia, there’s a good chance that there’s someone out there who shares your love of learning and strikes your fancy.
Helpful Tips for Dating Online When You’re a Highly Educated Single
Decide Up Front Who You’re Looking For…
With so many people trying to make a match, have an idea of who you’d like to meet. You may be looking for true love, while plenty of others are looking for casual dating.
Let Your Smarts Show…
If you’re seeking someone for an intellectual tête-à-tête, show prospective suitors that you’re up for the challenge. Share your interests, areas of expertise or study, and let other singles know you’re up for a conversation. Let prospective dates know what you’re reading, studying, or listening to, and use that as a conversation-starter with others. It’s also great to keep this information up to date. If you’ve read something new and you’d love a chance to talk about it with someone, pop that information into your profile! Being passionate about a topic is attractive.
…But Don’t Be a Snob
Nothing is more of a turn-off than arrogance. Be open about your intellect, but be humble about it. Use your smarts to invite conversation, not deflect it. Avoid playing the know-it-all. Even if you’re right, a few too many “actually”s can sour a conversation quickly. You can be smart and humble, too. Online dating is like being at a party: If you start a conversation and you find it doesn’t suit you, you can say a polite farewell and move on to the next person.
Shout Out Your Alma Mater
If you studied at a prestigious Ivy League school, or your college is known for a specific area of academic expertise, go ahead and let people know where you studied. It’s something to be proud of. If you’re not a fan of suitors doing pre-date internet searches, though, you may want to proceed with caution. The more specific the information you provide, the easier it will be for others to find information about you online. Still, if you’re proud that you attended a prestigious university, it’s a great thing to share with potential suitors.
Put a Conversation Starter In Your Profile
When you’re highly educated, it can feel elitist to mention in your profile that you’re seeking same. Instead, try including an icebreaker question that invites deeper conversation. You don’t have to go past your comfort level, and small talk still matters, but picking an interesting topic can make all the difference. There’s nothing wrong with asking someone what their favorite movie is, but asking a more nuanced question will get you a more nuanced, likely intellectual, response.
Your definition of highly educated may vary from someone else’s. A doctorate can be a sign of intelligence, but there are plenty of brilliant brains who have committed themselves to lifelong learning without the hefty price tag. But if you need proof on paper, there’s room for that too.
Be Open to Long Distance Relationships
If you’ve entered the world of professional academia, you know jobs are hard to come by—especially tenure-track. With so few jobs to go around, whether you’re a professor or still a teaching assistant, unless you want to date a colleague, you’ll likely be expanding your search beyond your own campus.
Expect to Take it Slow
Unless both you and your potential partner have completed all your academic and professional goals—highly unlikely if you’ve got a love for learning—time will be at a premium. Teaching, research, and writing all take time. In a publish or perish world, be prepared for a longer getting-to-know-you period than you would in a regular dating scenario.
Challenge Your Assumptions
What does a “smart” person look like? Not every highly educated single looks like a librarian. A marine biologist and a software magnate don’t necessarily have the same sense of style. You’ve read plenty of books in your time—you know better than to judge them by their covers.
FAQ About Using Dating Apps for Highly Educated Singles
Do All Apps Vet Their Users?
Some do, some don’t. Use your head—you’re good at it! If you don’t take it too far, there’s no harm in fact checking your date’s academic claims with a good old-fashioned online search.
What if I Want to Find a Date Based on IQ?
There are many ways to measure smarts, and an IQ test is certainly one of them. But filtering based on IQ is rare—and hard to confirm, anyway. Still, if you’re looking for quantifiable smarts, seek out an app that uses IQ as a qualifier for signing up.
How Do I Balance Showing off My Smarts With the Rest of My Interests?
You are not your Curriculum Vitae. While both you and your potential dates are seeking highly educated singles, don’t forget to show the world who you are outside of your education. Just like any other dating sites, you want to show off your hobbies, share your favorite movies and music, and generally give a window into your personality. No need to be stuffy!
Will It Be Hard To Find A Match?
For any dater, the more specific your criteria, the longer it will take to find “the one.” If you are highly educated and seeking someone else with the same love of academics, it may take a little longer, but as the saying goes, good things come to those who wait.