The Guide to Dating a Younger Man

When it comes to age gaps, there is definitely a double standard—so often we women hear and see messages that say our partners should be the same age or older. But if you’re interested in dating a younger man, we say here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson! 

Expanding your search by dating younger guys is a great idea, and not just for superficial reasons. Sure, it’s an awesome boost to your self-esteem knowing some pretty young thing thinks you’re hot, but you may surprise yourself. You might just find a perfect partner in that special younger guy, one who matches your energy level and thirst for adventure, and who treats you like the gorgeous goddess you are.

Group of four young men sitting on a mountain

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Benefits of Dating a Younger Guy

  • Younger Men Tend to Be More Active – If you’re a woman who likes to move, this can be so amazing! Maybe you’d love a guy who will hike with you, or train for a 5k or go kayaking together. However you like to stay active, you are more likely to find a partner who shares that interest if you are willing to date a younger guy.
  • Younger Men Are Often More Adventurous – Have you ever wished for a partner who likes to travel more, or is willing to take a dance class or explore your city? Dating a younger guy can be a gateway to adventure, as younger men are more likely to try new activities and be open to new ideas. 
  • Younger Men Often Carry Less Baggage – In short, he’s had fewer relationships, so he’s had fewer opportunities to screw things up.
  • If He’s Into You, He’s REALLY Into You – One of the main reasons a younger man will go for an older woman is that he sees her as powerful, accomplished, or worldly. Even a short age gap can give a man enough perspective to put you on a pedestal!

Challenges That Come With an Older Woman and a Younger Man In a Relationship

  • Society Might Judge you – When people see a secure, sexy woman with a younger guy they may label her a Mrs. Robinson, a cradle-robber, or a cougar. Only you know what’s right for you, so be confident whether you find yourself dating a man 5, 10, 20 years younger!
  • Younger Men Tend to Be More Active – If you’re into staying at home and cuddling five nights a week, his activity level could prove to be too much. The answer? Let him go on his hiking and soccer night adventures while you treat yourself to a manicure and a movie. 
  • He May Have Different Priorities – Younger guys might have more casual ideas about dating than you do, and they usually won’t be in a hurry to make big life decisions like marriage. This can be especially difficult if you’re nearing the end of your childbearing days. 

How Dating a Younger Man Changes With the Age Gap

Obviously as the age gap grows you can expect a few differences in the type of relationship you’ll experience! Here’s what you can expect at 5, 10 and 20 year age gaps:

Dating a Man 5 Years Younger

Pressure from society and the other challenges listed above will be less of an issue if your guy is 5 years younger. In fact, as you age you’ll barely notice the difference! Sure, his first concert might have been for the band you danced to in your early 20s, but you’ll likely find more common ground than you think.

Dating a Man 10 Years Younger

At this age gap you can start to expect to hear the cougar and cradle-robber comments from others. You’ll also have some different ideas about what’s “cool”—remember, he was 8 when you graduated from high school. Still there will likely be plenty you share in common! What’s important is that your needs are being met.

Dating a Man 20 Years Younger

With 20 years between you, you will definitely have different cultural frames of reference, and you should be prepared to handle differences in your energy levels. Still, if you share values and interests, age really is just a number and you can certainly create a loving and rewarding relationship together.


FAQ About Dating a Younger Guy

Is it safe to date a younger man?

An older-woman-younger-man relationship is no different in safety level from any other relationship. Wonderful men come in all shapes, sizes and ages, and so do harmful ones. As with every relationship, it is important to have a support network of trusted loved ones who can help you if you are unsure of your safety. And never meet someone for the first time without a trusted friend knowing where you are going or for how long!

What is an acceptable age difference between couples?

As long as you’re secure in your choice and your needs are being met, no age gap is too big or too small! Only you can choose whether or not a man is right for you, no matter his age.

How do you maintain a relationship with a younger man?

Be confident in yourself and don’t hesitate to ask for the things you need. Stay upbeat, suggest new adventures and try new things he wants to do. Explore his world and enjoy his youthful energy and vigor! Dating is supposed to be fun, and dating a younger man can lead you to fulfill your #relationshipgoals in an exciting and refreshing way.


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Written By: Kyle Gorjanc

Kyle Gorjanc is a freelance writer and filmmaker living, running, climbing, volunteering, entertaining, making art and dating in Brooklyn, New York.