Dating in Your 30s After Divorce

Dating in your 30s can feel stressful enough, but if you are recently divorced, you also must deal with the struggle of being unfamiliar with the modern dating scene. Depending on how long you’ve been married, It may surprise you to know how incredibly popular online dating has become. 

Many of us born in the 80’s and early 90’s remember how intensely we were told not to trust anybody on the internet, but these apps can put your fears to rest. Some dating apps have incredibly complex ways of matching singles and intense moderation teams to keep you safe while finding your perfect partner. 

If you are interested in jumping back into dating, take a look through our guide to find out the best way to begin your journey. 

Make Sure You’re Ready to Date

Divorces, even the most amicable, are emotionally difficult to process. If you are in the middle of your healing and not emotionally ready for romance, it is okay to take time before jumping back into the dating scene.

Here are a few signs you may not be ready to start dating again:

  • Your self-esteem and self-love is still dependent on your ex.
  • You are only seeking validation in your attractiveness or romantic worth. 
  • You find yourself searching for your ex online. 
  • You haven’t done any self-reflection or healing to help avoid falling into unhealthy dating patterns. 
  • The idea of dating makes you emotional. 

Know How the Dating Game has Changed

The dating scene changes all the time. So, even if you were only married for a year or two before your divorce, things may be totally different now than when you were single. 

One of the biggest modern dating trends is the removal of gender-based behavioral expectations. Most singles are all about splitting the bill, making joint decisions on date activities, etc. 

This equality of standards has trickled into dating apps as well. There are many apps where they give female singles more control over the dating situation as a way to take back some of the authority and power in the dating dynamic. 

There are also many more dating options for LGBTQ singles!

All in all, the modern dating scene is all about giving every single the power to control their dating experience and feel equal, safe, and fulfilled. 

Perks of Online Dating for Divorced Singles in their 30s 

Online dating is an amazing way to get back into the swing of things after a divorce. Here are a few of the benefits you may enjoy:

  • You Can Take Dating on The Go – No more wasted weekends or evening hours going to clubs and bars hoping to meet someone. With dating apps, you can find love during the small bursts of free time throughout your day.
  • Niche Sites Can Narrow Your Search – Whether you want to find a partner that is of a certain religion, financial status, cultural background, or anything else, there are niche dating sites available for you.
  • You Can Expand Your Horizons – By your 30s, you pretty much know most of the people you see on a daily basis. If you aren’t thrilled with the prospect of those people being your dating pool, online dating is an easy way to find new, interesting options. 
  • It Makes Dating So Much Cheaper – It can cost a lot of money to go out and search for singles. Even when you find someone, it will take a few costly dates to determine if they are worth your time. With online dating you can choose your app based on your budget and weed out weirdos and non-compatible matches through the app before you meet in person. 

Basic Guide to Building a Stellar Online Dating Profile

Online dating requires a few things that real-world dating doesn’t, including a dating profile. The structure and prompts for your dating profile will be different based on which platform you choose, but three of the most common items for a profile are:

  1. Profile photos
  2. Personal Bio
  3. Headline

Dating Profile Photo Guide

Choosing your profile photos is an important part of online dating success. According to dating coaches all over the internet, it is vital that you avoid posting selfies to your profile. Instead, focus on candid shots, headshots, group photos, or other poses that give off a better view of your life and personality. 

Dating Profile Bio Guide

Your profile should be concise but informative. Include the information about yourself that you find most important, but try not to get so wordy that your matches are stuck reading multiple paragraphs to learn a little about you. 

When writing your bio, think about it like you are telling a story. Give a short quip about why you are worth talking to and then delve into a few key details that demonstrate who you are and what your personality is like. 

If you still need help with your bio, consider these three do’s and don’ts of bio writing:

  • DO: Include a piece of trivia about yourself that can be used as an icebreaker.
  • DO: Keep it short and sweet. It should be no more than a few sentences at most.
  • DO: Be honest about yourself and your intentions.
  • DON’T: include negative statements about the things you hate or don’t want in a partner.
  • DON’T: Worry about being weird. If someone doesn’t like your hobbies, they aren’t worth your time. 
  • DON’T: Copy and paste a generic bio from the internet. If your bio isn’t personal to you, your matches won’t be either. 

Dating Profile Headline Guide

Your headline is just a quick way to grab the attention of a viewer. This should be a personal quip that shows off your intentions and your personality. 

You don’t want your headline to be a boring statement like, “I am a 32 year old man looking for a committed partner.”

Instead try something like, “I am a 32-year-old man trying online dating for the first time, just hoping I don’t end up an internet meme!”

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Author: Matt Seymour, MSF

Matthew J. Seymour is a dating industry expert with over a decade of experience coaching singles, reviewing dating apps, and analyzing trends within the industry. Matt is a published author with his most recent work “Get More Dates: How to Master Online Dating Apps” that hit shelves in 2023. With a Masters of Science in Finance (MSF) degree from the University of Florida and extensive knowledge of the innerworkings of the online dating industry, Matt frequently serves in an advisory role to some of the largest dating apps on the market. In Matt’s current role with Healthy Framework, he leads the interview team that regularly interviews key dating industry leaders, and leverages his financial knowledge and dating app experience to review and share what singles need to know to get the most out of dating online.