6 Things to Know About Texting After the First Date

A Man Smiling While Texting After a First Date

No matter how your first date went, you’re going to have some communications back and forth with the guy or gal that you spent some time with. And since we live in the day and age where no one makes actual phone calls, that communication is going to be by way of texting. 

If you’re fairly new to dating (or it has been a while), this may be uncharted territory. What do you say if you want to see them again? What do you say if you’d rather go your separate ways? How do you react if they’re a “great” texter or not that awesome at it?

A Man Smiling While Texting After a First Date

While we aren’t able to just head over and type the texts for you, we can offer some guidance to help you learn to text after a first date like a rock star. 

Here are six things you need to know about texting after the first date. 

1. You SHOULD send a message the same night after the first date. 

We highly recommend that you send a text message when you get home after every single first date. This is true whether you want to see them again or you don’t want to see them again.

If you want to see them again…

Let them know that you had a great time and thank them for sharing some time with you. No need to go over the top here (we’ll cover this more later), but let them know you had a good time and would like to see them again. 

For example, “Thanks for hanging out with me tonight. I had a really great time. I’d love to see you again sometime!”

Something that simple is all you need to get the point across. 

If you don’t want to see them again…

Yes, you still should send a text to someone on the night of the first date even if you don’t want to see them again. Bad news never gets better with time, and it’s best to share your feelings right away.

Here’s an example of what you can say. “Thanks for spending some time with me tonight. I had fun, but I don’t think we’re going to be a good fit romantically. Thank you again!”

Notice how we weren’t mean, but we were still straight forward that we aren’t feeling it. 

2. Ensure you’re paying attention to their texting rhythm. 

The biggest question we hear on this topic is how often you should be texting after the first date, typically referring to the time between that date and the second one. There are a lot of schools of thought on this topic, but here’s what we really think is best. 

First, don’t feel obligated to text every day. If you do, that’s okay (depending on the next thing we’re going to mention). If it’s every few days, that’s okay as well. 

All of this is dependent on two things—how often you feel like texting and their texting rhythm. If they’re someone who seems to respond quickly and is also initiating texts every day, then that’s how often they prefer to text. If they’re someone who only texts every few days, then that’s their texting rhythm. 

A great way to answer the question of how often to text is to try and align yourself with their rhythm.

Don’t try and force texts every hour if it’s pretty clear that they’re more of an every few days kind of person. 

The other piece of the puzzle, though, is how often you like to text. If you only like to text every few days and they’re an every hour type of person—don’t feel an obligation to match that high-pace of a rhythm. 

In those situations, the best thing to do (if you like them) is to meet in the middle. If you’re every few days and they’re every few hours, maybe move towards a few times every day. Or if they’re every few days and you’re every day, aim for every other day. 

Don’t overthink this, though. If you want to text them, text them. Just don’t be too over the top or too distant and never think of it like a game. 

3. Be honest but don’t scare them away.

As we mentioned earlier, it’s great to let someone know via text after a first date that you had a great time. But if the date went extremely well, there can be a temptation to ooze those feelings into a text message. 

Step one—pump the breaks. Yes, it’s important to be honest. Yes, it’s important to communicate how you feel. However, after only a first date, some people emotionally move slower than other people. If they like you but want to take things slow and you come out of the gate telling them how they’re going to be your future husband or wife (or something similar), you’re going to scare them away.

Keep it simple that you had a great time and share those over-the-top excited feelings down the line after a few more dates. 

4. Don’t be scared to be forward about not wanting to see them again. 

We also mentioned earlier that you should be sending a message to a first date if you’re not interested in seeing them again. The key takeaway of this tip is not to be scared about being forward. 

Don’t beat around the bush. Don’t sugarcoat how you feel. No, you don’t have to be mean and tell them everything you didn’t like about them. But you should be forward about the part that it’s not going to work out between the two of you.

It might seem harsh, but being forward is always the healthiest thing for both people. 

5. Don’t read into their text timing too deeply. 

Earlier, we talked about matching their rhythm when it comes to sending texts. What we didn’t talk about yet is what different texting rhythms actually mean. 

In most cases, they mean absolutely nothing. Yup. Nothing. If they’re slower at texting, it probably means they’re busy or don’t like to text that much. If they text a lot, they’re probably someone who spends a lot of time on their phone. So, don’t read into things too much.

That all being said, there are some things you may be able to pull out of things. 

  • If you’re always the one initiating the text conversations, they might not be that interested in you. This isn’t always the case, but something to be aware of. If it feels like pulling teeth to get them to respond, you might want to consider looking for other options. 
  • If they’re texting you a lot and initiating the conversations, the chances are very high that they’re interested in you. The initiation of a text conversation is almost certainly a tell-tale sign they’re into you.

6. Remember the goal.

While it’s nice to use texting as a way to get to know the other person a little bit better, the ultimate goal should be to get to a second date. Use texting more as a way to logistically set up that second date and less as a way to carry on full-on conversations.

Yes, it’s fun to use texting to flirt (and we encourage it.). Yes, it’s a nice way to continue growing the connection between dates. But all that being said, your goal should be to get that next date set up so you can spend some more in-person time with your new love interest!

The Wrap Up

We’ve given you a lot of tips here about how to text with someone after a first date like a champ. But here’s an even more important bottom line—don’t overthink any of this.

It’s easy to obsess over what you’re saying, when you say it, and how you say it. And while these things are important and should be considered, there is no exact science. Enjoy the excitement of a new love interest and let things happen as naturally as possible!

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How Long Should a First Date Really Last? – A Definitive Answer

boy and girl sitting near a lake

If you’ve read any of our advice columns on first dates, you know that there are a million and one questions that come up the first time you’re going on a date with someone. But heck, we probably don’t need to tell you that!

A very popular question that we see asked time and time again is how long should a first date last? Should a first date be over or under an hour? Is there such thing as too long or too short of a first date?

All great questions that we completely understand why you’re asking. In this guide, we’re going to help you answer those questions along with plenty more. Whether you are planning a first date, about to head out the door on one, or just getting started in dating and want to be prepared—we’ve got you covered.

boy and girl sitting near a lake

The Overarching Disclaimer About First Date Lengths

We’re going to give you a lot of insight into what we think the appropriate length of a first date is. We’ll give you different parameters you can look at to make a determination. But at the end of the day, there is no hard and fast rule about how long a first date should be.

Yes, you heard that right. While we think there are preferred lengths, there is no single right answer to how long a first date should last. For example, if a first date goes terribly and you end it after five minutes, that’s the right length! If a first date goes amazingly and you spend hours on end together, that’s the right length!

We share this for one reason. Take our advice and recommendations to heart. However, do so in a flexible way that leaves room for emotions, excitement, and circumstances to change things up if needed.

How Long Should I Plan for the First Date

A lot of you here today are curious about the length of a first date because you’re trying to plan appropriate activities. What we’d like to do is give you a starting range and then we’ll give you a few questions to ask to adjust that appropriately. Then, with that length in mind, you can start to plan your date activities. 

The usual length of a first date is between 45 minutes to 2 hours, with an average length of about one hour. 

Now, before you run off and start planning a date for exactly one hour, let’s look at a few things that might have an effect on that length. 

Logistical and Scheduling Constraints

The first thing that can (and should) have an effect on the length of the first date is any logistical or scheduling time constraints. For example, if you’re grabbing food on their lunch break, you probably can’t have a two-hour date because they have to get back to work. Or, maybe they have a dinner with their family they have to get to and you’re grabbing drinks beforehand—you don’t want to plan a date that’s going to make them late.

Not only do you want to look at your own time constraints and schedule, but it’s super respectful to check if they have anything else going on so you’re aware of what to plan and you can help if they need to be done by a certain time. 

If there is a time or scheduling constraint, shift the maximum first date time down accordingly (or look to reschedule).

Any Expectations Already Talked About

A lot of times people will hint at what they like to do for first dates and how long they like those to last. For example, if they are talking about grabbing a cup of coffee to get to know each other, you can probably guess that means they want to feel things out and then decide how long that date is going to be. In that situation, the date could be as short as 20 minutes or as long as several hours.

You’re not always going to get hints within the conversation about the desired length of the first date, but when you do, respect them and use them. 

If it sounds like they want a longer date, adjust longer. If it sounds like they like to play it by year, adjust shorter and be prepared for a wide range of lengths.

How Well You Know Your Date

If it’s someone you’ve only talked with a little bit online and don’t know at all, your best bet is to plan for shorter dates. This allows both of you an easy way out of the date in case things aren’t what you expected. But if it’s someone you’ve been friends with or known for a while, you’re probably safe planning for an average length date (1-2 hours) because there’s no real risk of surprises. 

Unfortunately, some people put up photos that don’t accurately reflect who they are or don’t accurately describe themselves. When you show up and this happens, you don’t want to be locked into a several-hour date that’s clearly a waste of your time. 

If you know them well, you can schedule a normal-length first date with no worries. If they’re someone new who you don’t know very well, a shorter first date is going to be the best bet.

Special Events and Dates

The last thing to consider is if the two of you have decided to do something for a first date that has a special timeframe. For example, maybe you decided to go to an all-day music festival together. If you did, that first date will probably be really long (and that’s okay)! 

If you do have something come up in conversation that’s out of the ordinary for a first date and it’s really long, that’s okay. 

Planning for When Things Go Well

While we already talked about the time constraints of planning for your first date, there’s a bit more planning you need to do. What is the plan if things go really well? Will (and should) that have an effect on the length of the first date?

The answer is that it depends! Hooray, ambiguity! Let us explain. The real answer is that it’s going to be completely up to you. 

If the date went amazing and you want to stick to the original plan, that’s okay! Sometimes that can help it from going stale later or getting into any awkward territory.

If it went amazing and you want to spend more time together, that’s also okay! What you need, though, is a plan of something to do relatively close to the first date area. For example, if you got dinner, maybe have an ice cream place close by in the back of your mind. If you got drinks, maybe have a place to go for a walk in the back of your mind. 

There’s no right or wrong answer here and you can decide in the heat of the moment. But we do recommend at least having a potential plan in mind in case you both do want to extend the length of the first date. 

The Length of a First Date When Things Go Poorly

Certainly, we are all hoping your first date goes amazingly. However, that’s not always the case. Sometimes it’s just not what you expected, and sometimes it’s just awful.

Should this have an effect on the length of the date? Absolutely.

Here’s something important:

You are never required to spend even one second more with someone that you don’t want to. Period.

Now, there are situations where it’s kind to see the date through, but we want to make sure you know you’re never trapped or obligated. 

If the date goes crazy bad, you probably want to be ready to leave right away. For example, if they don’t look like their pictures at all, lied to you about something, or you feel unsafe—you can leave right away without explaining yourself. Yes, this will make for a pretty short first date, but that’s okay.

If the date is just not that great, we’d probably recommend staying for at least one drink or one coffee or the duration of a show/event they may have paid for tickets to. Again, you don’t have to, but it’s probably the kind thing to do and they may have just been nervous at the start (and the date might get better!).

Should You Read Into the Length of a First Date? 

The last thing we want to talk about today is whether or not you can glean some information from the length of a first date. Do longer first dates signify they liked you more? Does a short first date ultimately mean it didn’t go great?

The answer, again, is that it depends. No, you can’t get a definitive answer, but yes, you can draw more than likely conclusions.

Here are our thoughts to consider:

  • If a date looks like they can’t wait to get out of there, most likely they’re not that interested. This becomes even more true if they’re blatantly trying to cut parts of the date short.
  • If your date seems like they want things to continue and you end up doing more than originally planned, this is almost always a really good sign that they’re into you.
  • If you offer to extend the date but they choose to end it as scheduled, don’t read into this very much. You may think this means they’re not into you, but they could just have plans or obligations afterward, or they may just be someone who likes to stick to the schedule.

Summer Love Tips for Online Dating

Suns out, guns out! It’s summer time and love can be in the air as long as you’re putting yourself in a position to succeed. While online dating is relatively the same beast year round, there are a few summer time considerations that can help you to have more success.

Update Your Pictures to Reflect the Season

When it’s summer time, people have summer on their mind. Groundbreaking, we know! The point of this basic observation, though, is what is important. When people are in the mood for summer activities, they’re going to naturally be more interested in people that appear to align with that. This means that if all of your pictures on the dating site are from a recent ski trip, you’re going to garner less interest from people.

Change your online dating pictures to ones of you in the sun. They don’t all have to be beach or pool pictures especially if you live far from water, but at least make them from summertime. The sunshine always makes people feel better and that includes when they’re in the sun and when they are looking at it. Adjust your pictures to fit the season and see your results grow.

Keep In Mind People Are Getting Out More

People are going to be getting out more during the summer. The weather is beautiful, people are going on more trips, and are ultimately having more fun away from the computer. This means that you might not get responses back to your online dating messages during the summer as quickly as you normally do.

The tip? Don’t freak out. Be patient with people. No one wants to date a total dud who doesn’t have anything going on in their life. Understand that your potential mate could be out enjoying themselves and they will get back to your dating message when they can. Don’t freak out and just assume that they are ignoring you. Everyone still wants to find love during the summer; it just might take a few extra hours or days for them to get back to you.

Read: Best Dating Apps

Be Patient with Daters with Kids

Summertime for parents means a whole new beast. If you’ve read any of our dating single parents guides and articles before, you know this is certainly true. Well, during the summer, the kids are usually out of school which means mom or dad’s time will be limited.

This does not mean you can’t still date single parents (or date as a single parent) during the summer. You just need to be prepared to be a little more flexible and patient. If that’s an issue, you probably aren’t ready to date a single parent anyways. Just be aware that they will have limited time and may have more abrupt changes to their schedule. If you can be okay with that, you’ll certainly show you are someone worth their time and you just may find the right one for you!

How Not to Be Nervous on a First Date

man and woman on a date

First dates…one part exciting and four parts terrifying. If you’re here, there’s a good chance that you might be leaning even more towards the terrifying part. First dates make a lot of people nervous, and we understand why.

You’re putting yourself and your feelings out there and trusting that someone you barely know isn’t going to step all over them. The fear of this happening can make a lot of people nervous on a first date.

In this guide, we want to tackle this head-on. We are going to show you exactly how not to be nervous on a first date. We’ll show you the things you need to do and the mindsets you need to adopt to ensure that you walk into that first date with your head high and confidence exuding from you. Once you finish this guide, gone are the days of sweaty palms, sweat-drenched shirts, and shaky hands.

Read: What NOT to Do On a First Date

man and woman on a date

Understand Some Nervousness is Okay

Before we go any further, we want to make sure that something here is clear. It is okay and completely natural to be nervous before and during a first date. You’re stepping out of your comfort zone, and really taking a chance. But, what we are specifically talking about here is nervousness that is debilitating. Nervousness on a first date that causes you to not be yourself, stumble over your words, and just really not put your best foot forward.

That’s the first date nervousness we’re going to be tackling today. Just make sure you remember, everyone is going to be a little bit nervous, and that is totally okay. Even your friend that always seems to crush it on first dates gets a little nervous (even if they say they don’t).

Now that we have that point clear, let’s get into the actual tips for how not to be nervous on a first date.

Stop Getting Too Emotionally Involved Too Early

It’s fun to daydream about what a first date is going to be like. Often, the first date is with someone you’ve never met before, or you barely know. When you barely know someone, it’s easy for your mind to fill in the holes with what you want them to be. Basically, your mind does a great job of building up this person you don’t even know as the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Now, we’re not saying that isn’t going to be the case. Your upcoming first date could be with the most amazing man or woman you’ve ever met, and we think that’s awesome! But, letting that optimism creep into unreal expectations can cause you to be much more nervous on a first date than you need to be.

Don’t let yourself fall in love with a person you’ve never even met or spent much time with. The more special and the more important that you make them in your mind, the more nervous you are going to be. It’s okay to be excited, but keep it from running out of control. This will take some proactivity from you, but it will be well worth it.

Be Prepared for Your First Date

First dates can be nerve-wracking because of all of the uncertainty. Something super important that you can do to lessen the nervousness on a first date is by cutting down on as many of the unknown variable as possible. In other words, the more prepared you are for your date and what might happen, the less you need to worry about.

If you know what you’re wearing, where you’re going, what happens if the place is terrible, what to do if the date is awful, and you have a plan for everything you can, then you’re going to be less nervous. You don’t need to spend hours mapping out the date and every little thing that could happen, but you should have a general idea of how things are going to go and what you’re going to do if they don’t go according to plan (for the worse or for the better).

To help you with this, we’ve put together a ton of resources over in our first date guides section. While everything over there is awesome and we highly recommend you read it, there are two things we really want you to look at. First is our first date mistakes guide. This guide outlines all of the major first date mistakes that you need to plan to avoid.

Second is our first date checklist. This checklist and guide will make sure that you don’t forget anything at all while getting prepared for your first date. That way, you can relax and let the nerves calm before you head out.

Prior preparation prevents poor performance. #preachit

Understand the Real Purpose of a First Date

One of the biggest reasons people get nervous on first dates is that they don’t really understand the true purpose of a first date. They think that it is a performance. They think the entire point of a first date is to put on the best show you can and work as hard as possible to impress the person you’re with. When you do this, the measure of success for the date becomes how much fun the other person has.

While you should always put your best foot forward, this is all terribly, terribly wrong. You see, the purpose of a first date is not to impress the other person. The measure of success on a first date is not how much fun they had or even scoring a second date.

The real purpose of a first date is to figure out if you have any compatibility or spark with the person you are going out with. Sure, you should always try and make it an enjoyable time, but you’re really just looking to see if the two of you are compatible and if it’s worth seeing each other again.

When you do this, a few things happen. First, the chance for failure is 100% eliminated. The measure of a successful first date is now learning whether there is compatibility or not. If there is compatibility and you figured that out, the date was a success! If there was zero compatibility and you figured that out, the date was a success! Yes, you heard that correctly. A date where you aren’t going to see the person again is actually a success.

Notice now that there is zero chance for failure. This should lead to the second cause of treating first dates properly which is that the nervousness will fade. If you aren’t acting like a performer on stage and you’re just trying to look for compatibility, you’re going to be less nervous. When you know that you can’t fail no matter how well the date goes by other people’s incorrect standards, the nervousness goes away.

Take the time to really understand why you are going on a date. Realize that a “bad date” where you are not compatible is not a bad date at all. You successfully crossed another person off the list of potential suitors, and that’s just one step closer to finding the right person.

Power Poses and Science

We’re going to throw something that might seem a little weird at you now, but it’s really awesome. Amy Cuddy, a renowned psychologist, gave a Ted Talk on the use of power poses to change the chemistry in our brains to handle nervous situations and uncertainty much better.

Basically, she said that there were certain poses (power poses) that you could stand in for a minute or two before heading into a nervous situation and it would release certain chemicals in your brain to help you handle nervous situations better! These poses are “superhero” type poses and are easy to do pretty much anywhere.

What does this have to do with a first date? Well, we recommend checking out her Ted Talk we linked above and using these poses in your dating life. Before you step out of the car or walk into the bar to meet your first date, strike a pose and get your brain chemistry working on your side! It might seem kind of crazy, but she breaks down all the science of it in her Ted Talk linked above.

Practice Makes Perfect

The last tip we have for how not to be nervous on a first date is to get out there and go on more first dates. Literally everything in life gets easier and is less nerve-wracking the more that you do it. This is true for first dates. If you haven’t been on a first date in years, it’s probably going to make you super nervous.

But, if you go on that one and it doesn’t work out, how difficult is the next one going to be on your nerves? Probably a bit easier because you know a little more what to expect and you’ve got some experience under your belt.

Get out there and go on some first dates. With what you’ve learned here, you literally have a 0% chance of failure thanks to recalibrating your measure of success. First dates are always going to give you those butterflies in your stomach, but that’s just your body getting excited about the potential that could come out of your next first date.

How to Meet Someone to Date at Church

girl by stained glass at church

In theory, meeting someone at church or your local synagogue is a fantastic sounding idea. They’re going to probably have the same ideals as you, maybe the same mindset, and certainly the same goals when it comes to life, love, children, and happiness. But, for some reason, it never works out how we want it to. We know that there are lots of good looking single men and women at church, but we just can’t figure out how to meet them.

In this guide, that is what we’re going to tackle. We’re going to show you the simple ways that you can increase your chances of finding love at church or the synagogue. We’ll also explore a few different avenues if religious love is something that is important to you.

For You: Top Dating Apps for Christian Singles

girl by stained glass at church

Join the Singles Ministry

Most churches are going to have some form of a singles ministry. The bigger the church, usually the bigger the singles ministry is and the more people you’ll have that you can meet. What is a church singles ministry? It’s usually a group that meets a few times or once a month to do something fun together. The group is going to be made up of all single men and women who are consciously looking for love.

It is NOT a speed dating service. It is NOT an awkward setting where they force you to interact with people that you may or may not be interested in. Every single church singles ministry that we’ve seen works to create a pressure-free environment where you can just hang out and have fun with other religious singles.

Now, before you roll your eyes and say that the singles ministry “isn’t for you,” let’s take a look at a few reasons why it’s a great move if you’re looking to meet someone to date at church. First, it’s usually not a group for just the “religious elite” or the people that have their lives perfect. Like most churches, it’s a welcoming place that pushes the come as you are agenda. It is not filled with people that only read the Bible and speak only in hymns. There are “normal” and down to Earth people in church singles ministries.

Second, just because there isn’t someone that isn’t God’s fit for you in the singles ministry, does not mean that it can’t help you find love. We can’t tell you how many stories we’ve heard of people who went to a single’s ministry meeting, didn’t meet anyone there, but got set up with someone through someone they met there. “Hey, I think I know a guy (or girl) that would be perfect for you!” There’s a good chance you’re going to hear those words at a singles ministry.

Take the leap this year and give it a shot. The absolute worst thing that happens if you have some fun with some other religious single people, and that’s it! And if for some reason your church’s singles ministry is terrible, you don’t have to go back! And if they don’t have one, why not start one? Talk about a great way to get a date from church.

Don’t Speed In and Out of Church Every Sunday

Relationships at church are formed in the moments in between services and not while the pastor is preaching. It’s pretty hard to get a date with someone in the middle of a church service or during the quick greeting period. We see a lot of people that go to church and end up meeting zero people (not even friends) because they come in right at the beginning of service time and as soon as it’s over, it’s a mad dash to the parking lot to get to their car.

Try this. Slow it down a little bit. Mingle with your church some. Grab a cup of coffee if they have that there. Shake a few hands and get to know your congregation. Even if you don’t find the love of your life doing this, you’re going to meet some awesome people, make new friends, and really enhance your church experience. And, you are certainly going to increase your chances of finding Mr. or Mrs. Right.

This is good advice at anything you do, not just church. Block out a little time to mingle before or after an event and get to know some new people. We’re sure you’ll be pretty impressed with the results.

Get Involved in Church Events

You cannot meet people and ultimately get dates if you are not putting yourself in situations and environments where you can meet people and ultimately get dates. Yes, we repeated ourselves there on purpose. Get involved at your church! Volunteer! Become a greeter! Join a bible study! Join the men’s or women’s ministry! (You’d be shocked how many people will try and set you up within the men’s and women’s ministry).

Get yourself out there and start getting to know your church. You’ll make some awesome new friends, have a lot of fun, and you will start meeting people to go on dates with. This is the single simplest thing you can do to increase your chances of getting a date from church.

Let It Be Known You’re Looking For Love

If you’re noticing a theme through this how to meet someone and get a date from church guide, it is this – people at church are going to WANT to help you find love. Whether it’s a new friend you make or the old lady that sits in front of you or even the pastor, people are going to want to help you find love.

To be honest, we don’t really know why this is, but it just seems that people at church have a knack for wanting to play matchmaker and for actually being pretty good at it. It might be because they know a relationship will make you happy or is an important part of your religious life and health. Whatever the reason, it’s awesome, and it’s something that you need to take advantage of.

But, no one is going to set you up with anyone if they don’t know that you are single. How do people know you’re single? You let them know! All these new friends and new people you’re meeting should be aware of the fact that you’re single. You don’t have to run around the church singing it to everyone, but you should let it be known that you are single.

We have an awesome guide about how to ask your friends to set you up on a date that is a must read if you need some help on how to go about doing this. Let people know you’re single and ready to mingle, and then let them do what they do. You’ll end up with way more dates from church than you know what to do with.

Try an Online Religious Dating Site

There is another way that you can meet religious singles without having to change anything about what you’re doing at church already. In fact, we recommend that even if you’re going to take all of our tips from above to get a date from church, you also check out some religious online dating sites. They are filled with thousands and thousands of high-quality, religious singles in your area.

Below, we’ve linked some of the top online religious dating sites or dating sites that cater to helping you find a religious match. The links we’ve provided will also automatically set you up with a free trial, so you can check things out and see if it’s for you!

7 Tips for Dating an Older Woman

older woman at computer

Older women are awesome. They know what they want in life, they don’t play games, and they still know how to have fun and be sexy.

But, they’re not the same as the younger women or girls that you’re used to dating. They command a different type of respect and treatment to keep them happy, and that is what we’d like to cover today.

Below, you’ll find a collection of the top tips for dating an older woman. Keep in mind that we don’t mean the woman that is two years older than you or something like that. We’re talking about women that are at least 5+ years older than you and more specifically probably 10+ years older than you. Basically, we’re talking about women that are in a different phase of life than you are.

And if you’re here looking for tips on how to find an older woman to date, here are some dating apps that we recommend. Each of these options is filled with women who are older and come with great filters to help you find exactly what you want.

Read: Pros and Cons of Dating an Older Woman

older woman at computer

1. Do Not Call them an Older Woman Ever

Unless she has some weird fetish where she likes to be known as the older woman, you should never be calling her the older woman or any variation of that statement. Keep in mind that just because she makes comments about being older does not mean that she has a fetish for it or wants you to say it as well. In fact, this is often a defense mechanism to try and make them feel better about dating someone younger.

Older women sometimes are worried that life is going to pass them by or that maybe you’re going to trade them in for a newer model. To try and make themselves feel better and know that everything is okay, they might joke from time to time about being older. This is not your invitation to joke right alongside them. This is your invitation to let them know that age is just a number and it doesn’t matter to you who is older.

2. You Have to Communicate Effectively

Older women just seem to be better communicators. We’re not sure if it’s because of the life experience or if they are just over the games. Regardless, they are better at communication because they are just going to tell you what they want and that will actually be what they want. There will be no games where they tell you one thing in hopes that you interpret it to mean another thing and yadda, yadda, yadda, you know the game.

You can’t just sit back and reap the benefits of their great communication. You have to communicate just as effectively with them, or they are going to get annoyed and run for the hills or wherever it is that older women run to.

Here’s the good news. This is not hard. All you have to do is listen when they speak and say what you are actually feeling and want to say. Don’t hide things from them or expect bad situations to just correct themselves. Bad news does not get better with time. This is probably the single best tip for dating an older woman. If you can communicate well, your chances of success with an older woman will be much higher.

3. They Don’t Want Drama

The close runner up for the best tip for dating an older woman is this; they don’t want drama of any type, shape, or kind. All the stuff that you get annoyed at with the girls you date that are your age? Yea, they get annoyed by it too.

Now, before you just skip to the next section and say that you don’t have a problem with drama, we do want to point something out. Far more often than not, you are conditioned to drama because of the relationships you’ve had with girls your age. You’re extremely annoyed by it, you hate it, and all that good stuff, but you still fall victim to engaging in drama-seeking behavior.

In other words, your definition of no drama is going to be different than an older woman’s definition of no drama. To you, no drama probably means very minimal drama. To them, though, it literally means zero drama. Got a problem with someone at work? They don’t want to hear about it. A little annoyed by something they did that wasn’t major? They don’t care and don’t want to fight about it.

They just want to have fun and avoid the drama that they have already had the “privilege” of living through. Respect this and be the most drama free man that they know. You’ll be surprised at just how sexy older women find that.

4. Be Okay With Their Baggage

Here’s a life spoiler for you. The more time you spend on this Earth, the more baggage you are going to accumulate. Some of us are going to accumulate more baggage than others, but we are all going to accumulate some and the older you get, the more that will be. So, what should you expect dating an older woman? You should expect her to have some baggage.

This could be kids, ex-husbands, life situations, tragedies, etc. The list really is endless because there is an infinite number of things that can happen to someone in this crazy world we live in.

Here’s the point we’re trying to make. When you are dating an older woman, you have to be okay with their baggage. You can’t judge them for what has happened to them in their life or the decisions they have made in the past. You have to be willing to accept them for the woman they are today and be completely okay with it. If you’re not, then date someone else and don’t waste her time because she doesn’t deserve your judgment, nor is she going to stand for it so you’d be wasting both of your time.

To be honest, you should be okay with someone’s baggage you’re dating regardless of their age – same age, older, younger. When you choose to date someone, you agree to accept them for who they are and not judge them on their past decisions. You can judge them on their decisions once you start dating, but if it’s things that started before you got together, then you have no footing to push them to change anything.

Not all older women are going to have more baggage, but it’s just logical to expect that a lot of them will. Be prepared for this and be okay with it or stick to dating women your own age.

5. Don’t Change Who You Are Completely

Guess why she’s dating you? It’s because she likes you! Sure, she may be attracted to the idea of a younger man (which is okay), but that will wear off quickly if she doesn’t actually enjoy things about you.

Why do we share this? Because there can be temptations to start acting “older” than you are. While some things like maybe cutting out some immaturities is a good thing, don’t totally become a different person. Otherwise, you might drive her away.

6. Be Honest About Your Situation

A lot of times, older women are going to be more financially sound than someone who is younger. They’ve had more time to advance in their career, save, and get their wild younger spending habits under control.

But what happens if you’re not on the same financial level? Ideally, that should not be a problem if handled correctly. Be open about what you can and can’t afford, don’t expect them to just automatically pay for everything, and do what you can to be an active and helpful part of the relationship.

If you try and hide that you aren’t as financially successful as them, it can create problems. Be open, and the chances are high they will have no problem with it! They’ll actually respect your open communication more than you might expect.

7. Stop Overthinking It

We LOVE that you’re here looking for tips on how to date a woman who is older than you. It shows that you care and are actively looking to put some serious effort into the relationship. However, at the end of the day, it’s still a normal relationships, just one between two people who were born in different years.

Read these tips. Take them to heart. Decide any changes you want to make. After that? Have fun. Seriously. Enjoy the relationship and don’t overthink things, which can create more problems than it fixes.

In Conclusion

The bottom line is that getting the opportunity to date an older woman is awesome. They are a special breed and can be incredibly fulfilling to be with regardless of whether it is something serious or just something casual. Just make sure you listen to the guidance we’ve given you here, and you’ll be doing just fine when it comes to dating an older woman.

Don’t Take a First Date to Your Stomping Grounds

local bar with drinks

If you’ve spent any amount of time on our site, you know that we like to focus a lot on first dates. Why? Well, the first date is the make or break time where you can make something awesome happen with someone special, or you can break your chances of anything continuing with someone awesome. First dates are important, and there is a lot you can do right and a lot you can do wrong that will affect the outcome of the date.

In this guide, we’re specifically going to talk about one of the biggest mistakes that you can make on a first date – taking your date somewhere that you frequent. It might seem like a great idea, but we’re going to make a strong case as to why this is something that you should avoid at all costs.

Before we go any further, we do want to make sure you’re aware of a few awesome resources we’ve put together for first daters. Make sure you’ve checked out our Complete List of First Date Mistakes You Have to Stop and The Ultimate First Date Checklist. These two guides and what you learn here today should help to get you all squared away for your upcoming first date!

local bar with drinks

What Happens if the Date Goes Poorly, But They Like the Place

If you know us, you know that we don’t like to just make claims or tell you to do something without backing it up. If you wanted someone to bark unfounded orders at you, you could probably call up your mom or your boss and let them go to town. But, that’s not how we roll here.

Let’s look at a first date scenario where you take your date to your favorite bar that you love to frequent after work. You know the bartender, and it’s just an awesome space that you love to go to in order to unwind. You show up with your date, order a round of drinks, and things are off to a great start. Your favorite bartender is even working and said hey to you and made you feel like a celebrity.

About 20 minutes into the date, though, your date starts to get quiet and so do you. You’ve read our blog on how to avoid awkward silences on dates, but it’s just not working. The date starts to spiral down from there and then your date eventually tells you they’re not interested and awkwardly shuffles out of the bar.

Good thing you don’t have to see them again, right?

The next day you go after work to grab a drink and who do you see there…on another date…in YOUR favorite bar? Yup. Your date from the night before is hijacking your favorite bar. It’s now becoming their favorite bar and where they decide they want to take their dates. You now have to decide to either deal with them there or lose your favorite bar.

Don’t risk losing a place you love for someone you just met. Save the sweet spots for later dates and take them somewhere that you don’t frequent in case it goes poorly, you don’t have to worry about seeing your cruddy date again.

You Could Run Into Friends or People You Don’t Want To

What is something that usually happens at a place you frequent? You make friends! Or, you start frequenting a place because your friends go there. It’s a chicken and the egg kind of thing, but the point is that places you frequent will probably be packed with people that you know.

Answer this question honestly. Do you want your friends sitting in the corner watching you while you’re on your date? Heck, you’re going to be nervous enough already as it is. Why add fuel to the fire by taking your date somewhere that if it goes terribly wrong, you’re never going to hear the end of it? Or, depending on what kind of friends you have, they might be the kind that could accidentally assist in making things go terribly wrong.

While there is nothing wrong with accidentally running into people that you know on a first date, it’s not ideal. The more variables that you can take out of the first date scenario, the better your chances are to have a good time and not run into any problems.

You Could Ruin Something That You Don’t Know About

You never know who is watching when you’re somewhere. Don’t worry; we’re not saying that to sound creepy. What we are referring to is the fact that a lot of places you go, there are probably people who are interested in you and might be interested in dating you in some capacity. It’s possible they are waiting for the right opportunity to talk to you or to work up the courage to come say hi.

What do you think they are going to do if they see you in there with someone else on a date? What are they going to do if they see you in there with multiple dates on multiple occasions? The answer is they are probably going to assume that you’re taken and never get the courage up to ask you out or let you know they are interested. If they see you parading people through, they might lose interest thinking you’re a player or something like that.

Don’t ruin opportunities that you don’t even know exist by bringing first dates through places you frequent. This would be like taking a first date to a work function or something like that. You never know who is watching.

The Weak Case for Taking a Date Somewhere You Frequent

We wouldn’t be offering you a complete guide if we didn’t at least look at some of the reasons for taking your date to your stomping grounds or a place you frequent. But, we will give you the spoiler that all of these arguments are actually an argument for a better solution that we’ll cover as well. Let’s start by looking at the reasons taking a date somewhere you frequent could be nice and then we will talk about what you should do about that.

You Can Get Special Treatment

Know a bar with a bartender friend? Probably going to get hooked up. Know a restaurant where you know the owner? You’re going to look like a boss. There are certainly some advantages to going somewhere you frequent, and they start with the level of service that you will get. If you’re a loyal customer they know, or you have a personal relationship with someone at the venue, it’s going to make for a better experience overall and possibly save you some cash.

You Know the Lay of the Land

When you go somewhere that you frequent, you can make the case that you are actually removing more of the variables as opposed to what we said earlier. You know what the menu looks like or what they offer, you know where everything is, and you know the ins and outs of what needs to happen to ensure a fantastic experience. Basically, you’re the expert on a location, and it’s going to make you look cultured and experienced when you bring your first date there.

Save it for a Later Date

Some pretty great arguments up there, yea? We actually agree. BUT!!! We think they are great arguments that still reign true on the second date or fifth date or any date other than the first. Wait until you know that someone might be around for a while before you go taking them to your stomping grounds.

Save the special treatment for someone who deserves it. You’re going to start to develop an odd reputation at your favorite locale if you are constantly parading men and or women through there.

Additional Resources

Dealing With People Making Fun of Online Dating

two men laughing

What do people do when they don’t understand it or it’s foreign to them? Well, if you’re a rational adult, you either do nothing or learn about it. If you’re like way too many people in this world, you make fun of it and assume that it’s garbage just because you don’t understand it. We see people making fun of online dating all the time and frankly it’s comically annoying.

If you’re here, you probably have a family member or friend that is giving you a hard time for trying to find love online. They probably say things like, “online dating is only for weirdos,” or “you’re going to get abducted dating online.” While we can find a way to appreciate that they care more about our lives than their own, it’s still annoying and way off base.

Read: Should You Tell Your Family You’re Dating Online?

two men laughing

In this guide, we’re going to talk about how you can go about dealing with people making fun of online dating. We’ll give you some tips and tricks of what to say and how to get them to lighten up. While it doesn’t really matter what other people think, it can be tough when they’re your friends and family and are otherwise nice people who just seem to have a hatred for online dating.

Ask Them If They’ve Had a Bad Experience Dating Online | The Trap

We don’t like being sneaky, but…okay, we like clever tricks when they are ethical and work in our favor. Here’s a great one that you can use to shut someone down when they are making fun of you for using online dating. It doesn’t even really matter what their reasoning for hating it is; this should still work.

When they start giving you their spiel, ask them if the reason they don’t like online dating is because they had a bad experience with it. 9 times out of 10 they are going to say no. Then you can follow up and say, “So, you actually have no personal experience with online dating?” To this, you’ll probably leave them speechless.

They might come back with a line about how they personally didn’t have a bad experience, but they have heard a lot of stories about people who have had bad experiences in online dating. Ask them for specifics. Keep pressing. Don’t be aggressive or raise your voice or anything. What you are doing is slowly leading them down the path of realizing they have no idea what they’re talking about.

If they do happen to have a horror story from online dating, then you can quickly realize you’re probably not going to get them onboard. But, for the other masses that are just making fun of online dating because it’s foreign to them, it should make them realize their unfounded statements.

Online Dating Has Come a Long Way

Another common way people will make fun of online dating is by calling it weird. They’ll say it’s just strange and that it’s only for weird people. They are, of course, entitled to their own opinion, but they’re clearly wrong here. In online dating’s early days, the stigma that it was for people who were strange and cast out from society got started.

Somehow, throughout the two decades plus that it’s been around, this stigma hasn’t been changed. But online dating has changed. Now, online dating is a place for busy people who have a lot of great things going on in their lives to get together and meet each other. It’s for people that have too much awesome stuff going on to spend time trolling bars looking for love. It’s for people who like to get results.

Online dating produces results for millions of “normal” people every single year. Now, we all know this, but how do you tell your friend or family member who is giving you a hard time this in a short and concise way?

It’s simple. Tell them that online dating has changed and it’s predominantly for busy and successful people who don’t have time to troll bars to find love. Tell them it’s for people that are tired of meeting low-quality singles without a lot going for them. Tell them that the times have changed and technology is changing the way that we meet and fall in love. Tell them if they’re too old school to get with the times that is their problem.

Feel free to memorize that word for word if you want in case you need it at the next family reunion or get together with friends.

Ask Them to Stop

If none of the above things work to stop someone from making fun of you or giving you a hard time for dating online, then you can take the easy approach. Just ask them to stop. Tell them that it’s something you’re excited about and you’d appreciate it if they could get behind you and support you. If they’re worried about your safety, tell them that you’re going to be safe and that you’ve read our awesome online dating safety guide. You can even forward it to them if you want them to see how seriously you’re taking your safety.

Here’s the thing. This does not need to be a long conversation. You do not have to defend why you are choosing to use online dating to find love. You’re a grown adult, and you are entitled to make your own life decisions which include the mediums that you use to find love. If they can’t understand that and can’t leave you alone about something important to you, then they are a crappy friend or a crappy family member.

They should care about your happiness. Just because they don’t understand online dating does not mean they can chastise you for using it and make fun of you. Sure, they can give you their opinion and let you know they are concerned about your safety. But, at some point, they have to let you do what you think is going to make you the happiest.

The Wrap Up

It stinks that some people aren’t capable of handling things that are confusing or foreign to them like adults. But, it is the world we live in, and we are forced to adapt to it. Here’s the last thing we want you to take away. You do not have to endure verbal lashings from people about your dating life. If they’re important to you, you can give them the time to voice their concerns in an adult manner and allow you to address them.

But, once they do that, they need to understand that this is something you’re doing. It’s not like you started a drug cartel or are thinking about climbing Mt. Everest (which we think would be awesome). You’re simply using your computer and technology to try and find someone special to bring you happiness. You’re at more of a security risk using Facebook or another social media platform than you are in a highly monitored online dating environment.

Do you and do what makes you happy.

How to Ask Your Friends to Help Set You Up On a Date

friends standing outside together

One of the best ways to find new singles to go out with is by utilizing the help of your closest friends. Not only do they know you best, but if they’re a good friend, they most likely want to see you happy. But, you need to be careful when using this method because there are certainly a lot of ways to go about it wrong. If you don’t ask your friends to help set you up on a date the right way, you risk getting no help and potentially damaging your friendships.

But, never fear! In this article, we’re going to go over the things you need to know when asking your friends to help set you up on a date.

friends standing outside together

Be Open About What You Are Looking For

Your friends can’t help you find love if they don’t know that you’re looking or that you’re open to accepting their help. A lot of people out there are private about their love life, so your friends might assume you fall into that category and don’t want to overstep their boundaries. This is obviously not great for you if you’re looking for their help.

You need to tell your friends that you are looking to get out there and date more. But, you also need to let them know that you’d be interested in their help if they happen to know anybody. Here’s an example of what you could say.

“So, I think I’m ready to get out there and start dating some more. Do you happen to know anyone you think might be a good match for me?”

Wait for an answer and if they say yes, awesome! If they say no, you can say this.

“No worries. Would you mind keeping an eye out and let me know if you happen to run into anyone you think I might like.”

It’s really that simple. Tell them that you’re looking to date more or that you’ve been struggling to find quality people to date. Then, see if they know anyone right away that might be a good fit. You might be surprised how many of your friends are waiting to explode with a suggestion that they’ve been holding onto for weeks or months.

If they ask you what you’re looking for in particular, make sure that you have a concise answer prepared. If they don’t ask, don’t go ahead and volunteer it. You don’t want to start the process off by being annoying and giving them more information than they want to hear. Some friends will ask, and some will just tell you they will keep an eye out. If they don’t ask and you start giving them a full checklist of what you’re looking for in a date, you’re going to come across as pushy, and that’s not going to do much to make them want to help you.

Don’t Be Embarrassed

If you’re hesitant to ask your friends to help set you up on a date because you’re embarrassed, don’t be! Literally, everyone knows how hard dating is these days. Just because you haven’t found that special someone yet does not mean there is anything wrong with you. You may have been focusing on other things or you just might not have found exactly what you’re looking for.

Whatever the reason may be, there is zero reason to be ashamed or embarrassed about asking your friends for help. Sure, they may give you a hard time or a ribbing for fun, but they’re still going to help you. And, it’s all going to be in good fun. Your friends are your greatest wingmen and wingwomen; take advantage of that.

Don’t Be Obnoxious or Pushy About It

If there is a number one rule that you have to follow when asking your friends to help set you up on a date, it is this. Do not be pushy. Do not bother them constantly. All this is going to accomplish is making your friends annoyed with you and less likely to want to go out of their way to help you.

You have to remember this. When you ask your friends to help set you up with people they know, they are doing you a favor. They do not work for you. They are not obligated to help you. They owe you nothing. But, if they decide that they are willing to help you find love and get more dates, then you need to be nothing but grateful.

This also means that if they don’t want to help you or say they are going to and then do nothing, you cannot get mad at them. If you are not cool with this and completely okay with this, then you should not look into getting your friends to help set you up on dates. When you pay an online dating site or a matchmaker, you can expect results, but when you ask your friends for help, you need to expect nothing and be grateful for anything that they do end up doing for you.

If Your Friends Set You Up, You Need to Go

The quickest way to stop your friends from helping set you up on dates is by not going on the dates that they set you up with. Sure, you shouldn’t go out with someone that you don’t feel safe with or violates one of your actual deal breakers. But, you need to have an open mind and be willing to try going out with someone that you might not normally.

Remember, your friends know you well and what you’ve been doing so far isn’t working. Don’t be opposed to trying out something new because you may be pleasantly surprised with how well your friends know you.

Also, put yourself in your friend’s shoes. Imagine if one of your friends asked you to help get them dates. Imagine that you actually do this and every person you suggest they shoot down and refuse to go out with. Are you going to keep sending them recommendations? Are you going to keep trying to set them up? If we’re being honest here, probably not. It’s no fun to help someone who appears not to want to be helped.

Be open-minded and it will keep your friends motivated to keep helping you out. You don’t have to keep dating anyone you don’t like, but at least be open to going on some first dates that you might not normally go on.

It’s Okay to Remind Your Friends Every Few Weeks

So, we’ve made sure to be clear that you shouldn’t be annoying or obnoxious when asking your friends to help set you up on dates. But, it is okay to remind them that you are still looking every now and then. We would say every few weeks is probably plenty or you could look to do it once a month. This is certainly not being obnoxious, but it is going to remind your friends you’re still looking.

You see, finding love might be the most important thing in your life that you think about every day. But, your friends have busy lives, love lives of their own, and a lot going on. They will forget, and that is okay. It’s not their responsibility to remember to search for someone for you to go out with. But, this is why it’s okay to remind them. It’s okay to give them a friendly nudge.

Don’t EVER make them feel bad if they haven’t found anyone yet for you If they try and apologize for anything, let them know there is no need to apologize and you appreciate them continuing to keep an eye out for you. The purpose is not to guilt them into finding you someone. If you do that, they will end up just sending you someone they don’t think is a good fit just to send you someone.

Make them feel good and appreciated even if they aren’t really doing anything. Remember, it only takes one special person to change your life, and if you have multiple people out there looking, it’s only going to increase your chances of finding love!

Christian Mingle Dating Advice

screenshot of christian mingle

One of the leading Christian dating sites in the industry is Christian Mingle. You may have seen commercials on TV, somewhere on the web, or maybe you had some friends at church mention it to you. While the site is extremely user-friendly, we did want to give you some tips if you’re thinking about using the site. These tips will ensure that you get the most out of your membership and hopefully find that Christian man or woman that you are looking for

Christian Mingle Homepage Screenshot

Don’t Join if You’re Not Religious

You might think that this tip goes without saying, but we actually get asked quite a bit if it’s worth joining Christian Mingle if you’re not religious. This is probably because Christian Mingle has a reputation for having some higher quality members and people that are a little less flaky and are actually serious about finding love.

While all of this is true, the singles on Christian Mingle are serious about finding Christian love. That means you do need to be religious and you do need to be a Christian if you have any hopes of having success on the site. We understand why it might be tempting to jump on and see what’s there, but you will be disappointed if you aren’t a Christian.

It’s Okay If You’re Not a Super Christian

While you do need to be a Christian looking for love if you want to have any real success on Christian Mingle, you don’t have to be someone who goes to church seven days a week. While most of the people on Christian Mingle are Christians, many of them are at vastly different places in their walk with God.

You have some singles who have been in the church their entire life and their faith is what drives every single decision in there life. You also have Christians who are brand new to the faith and are really just dipping their toes into the water of what Christianity is all about. And then, you have a ton of people that fall somewhere in the middle.

You see, there’s a stigma that some people get about a religious dating site. They think it’s all the people that carry a bible around with them 24/7 and speak only in scripture while praying 84 times a day. While some of these people exist on Christian Mingle (and we applaud them for their religious dedication), the vast majority of people on the site don’t fall into that category. The vast majority of the singles on Christian Mingle are “normal” people who deal with the same struggles of everyday life that you do.

Use the Christian Mingle Lookbook Feature

If you’ve read our Christian Mingle review, you know that the dating site has quite a few features to help you find that special someone. One of the features that a lot of people often overlook is the Lookbook feature. Located on the top right of the page when you log-in or on the menu on mobile, you’ll find a link to the Lookbook feature.

What is Christian Mingle’s Lookbook? Well, it’s their version of swipe-style dating. Basically, they show you a picture of someone on the site that matches what you’re looking for and some basic information about the person. As opposed to some other sites that do this (cough…Tinder…cough), they actually show you some information about the person and not just a picture.

If you like the person that they show you, you click the heart icon. If you aren’t a fan or they just aren’t a good fit for you, you click the X and they show you a new single. The idea is that if you click you like someone and that person also clicks that they like you or are interested, then it will let you know that you have matched.

This is a really easy way to get to know people on the site. Anyone you match with through the Christian Mingle Lookbook feature, you will already know that there is mutual shared interest so it should make sending that first message a breeze. Instead of sending a message hoping the person is interested, you will already know without a doubt that they are.

Make sure that you don’t put all your eggs in the Lookbook basket, though. What we mean is this. Not every person on the site uses the feature. In fact, a lot miss it which is the reason that we’ve included it in this tips and advice article. Because of that, you might click that you like someone and you may never get the match back that they like you as well. But, this might not be because they aren’t interested. It might just be because they aren’t using the Lookbook feature.

So, if you like someone, send them a message. Take a chance. The worst that can happen is they say no thanks or don’t respond.

No Search Function, Use the Discovery Settings

One of the things that might confuse you when you get on Christian Mingle is there is no traditional search function. But, that does not mean that you don’t have control over the matches you see and that it doesn’t mean you can’t actually search. It’s just in a different spot and works slightly differently. Let’s take a look at it.

Your main home screen is actually your search/browse function on Christian Mingle. The way that you change what you see is by changing your global discovery settings. You will see several links to change this all over the place on the homepage. If you want to “search” for something a little big different than what you’re currently looking for, just temporarily adjust your discovery settings and then go to your member homepage where you will see a whole new group of singles. When you get done, you can change it back to what you are most looking for.

Take Advantage of the Free Trial

If you’re on the fence about giving Christian Mingle a try, we highly recommend that you take advantage of their free trial. As one of the more robust free trials in the industry, you can create your profile, upload photos, browse through all of your matches, and even respond to messages for free from paid members. Yes, you can actually communicate with members and potentially get dates without ever paying for a membership.

While we do recommend actually joining the site so you can sit in the driver’s seat, the Christian Mingle free trial is a phenomenal way to see if the site is a good fit for you. If you go on and don’t see anyone you like or aren’t interested in, then you don’t have to join. The worst that happens then is that someone awesome who is a paid member sends you a message!