Boyfriend Didn’t Get Me a Valentine’s Gift – What Does That Mean

Valentine’s day – the day where crushes are revealed, love is celebrated, and grocery stores make millions of dollars selling cheap paper cards and tasteless sugar cookies to children. 

Love it or hate it, the weekend before February 14th is one filled with chocolates, roses, and the color pink. 

Some people love being adorned with gifts for Valentine’s day. They eagerly await their flowers to be delivered to work and blush as others ooh and ahh over how much their partner loves them. 

Others want to distance themselves from the holiday entirely. They find it to be too commercialized and not a true depiction of love. 

There is nothing wrong with how anyone feels about Valentine’s day. The only problem that occurs is when one partner is expecting to be showered with gifts and the other doesn’t even have Valentine’s on their radar. 

Young Black Couple Holding Valentines Day Gifts and Smiling

If your partner didn’t give you a gift for Valentine’s day, you may be feeling hurt and betrayed. Truth is, there are a lot of reasons this may have happened, and they don’t all mean your boyfriend doesn’t love you. 

Let’s take a look through some reasons your boyfriend may not have gotten you a Valentine’s gift so you can figure out if this issue means you should break up or just talk it out. 

Common Reasons a Boyfriend Might Not Give a Valentine’s Gift

He May Not Subscribe to the Idea of Valentine’s Day

Many people despise Valentine’s Day because it is a “Hallmark Holiday.” This refers to holidays that no longer celebrate their original meaning and now only exist to sell holiday cards and gifts. If your boyfriend is someone who believes you shouldn’t buy into these types of occasions, you are unlikely to receive a gift without explicitly asking him to get you one. 

He May Have Lost Track of Time

As adults, time can spread thin and things get lost in an ever changing calendar of to do’s. It is completely possible your boyfriend didn’t realize Valentine’s Day was quickly approaching. 

Your Gift Could be In The Mail

Is it possible that your boyfriend special ordered you a gift and it simply hasn’t arrived yet? This could be especially true if your boyfriend is long distance. Before you panic, try simply asking your boyfriend if you should be expecting a gift in the mail.

There Might be a Surprise Waiting for You

It’s the classic sitcom scenario, someone thinks they aren’t being celebrated for an occasion and then at the end of the day there is a huge, romantic surprise waiting for them. If Valentine’s day hasn’t come to a close, try to hold off on feeling disappointed. You never know if you will show up in the evening to a romantic surprise.

Worst Case Scenario – He Doesn’t Take Your Relationship Seriously

Is it possible that your boyfriend didn’t get you a gift because he doesn’t take your relationship seriously? Well, yes. The unfortunate truth is that Valentine’s day can shine a light on relationships with unequal levels of affection. 

Let’s assume you’ve been together for a while and you expressed interest in celebrating Valentine’s Day. If your boyfriend made zero effort to give you a gift, show you extra love, or celebrate your partnership, there is a good chance you feel more strongly for him than he does for you. 

What Do I Do If My Boyfriend Didn’t Get Me a Valentine’s Gift

If you are asking this question, we assume that you’ve considered a few legitimate reasons you didn’t receive a gift and none of them make sense for your relationship. You know your boyfriend can afford a gift and there definitely isn’t one in the mail. Well, then it is time to sit down and talk it out. 

What Do I Do If My Boyfriend Didn’t Get Me a Valentine’s Gift

The mark of a mature relationship is being able to self assess our emotions so we can talk out our problems. So, before you get ready to talk to your boyfriend, take an inventory of the facts around the situation. Ask yourself these questions:

  • Did you make it clear that you wanted to celebrate Valentine’s Day with a gift?
  • Did you give your boyfriend a Valentine’s gift?

If you never expressed interest in receiving a gift (by mentioning it or offering a gift to your partner first), your boyfriend may not have realized you wanted one. You can’t place expectations on your partner without letting them know how those expectations can be met. If they aren’t aware of how much Valentine’s means to you, it isn’t their fault if they don’t step up in the way you expected. 

If you did make it clear that you wanted to celebrate the holiday with a gift, the conversation you need to have is more difficult. Read below for tips on approaching this delicate situation.

How to Express your Disappointment Without Placing Blame

If you realize that you didn’t make it clear you expected a Valentine’s gift, you need to approach your conversation very gently. Let your boyfriend know that you understand you didn’t ask for a Valentine’s gift, but you were disappointed when you didn’t get one. 

Let them know that you are disappointed in yourself for not making your expectations clear and ask him if he would feel comfortable prioritizing Valentine’s in the future. 

If you have a mature and understanding partner, this conversation should be simple and calm. 

How to Express Disappointment When Your Boyfriend is at Fault

Let’s say you have assessed the situation. You know that you told your boyfriend Valentine’s day is important, you told him about your favorite flowers, gave him your work address, sent him a list of gifts you wanted, heck, you even sent chocolates and a gift to his house! Still, he got you nothing in return. 

If your boyfriend has seriously dropped the ball on Valentine’s, it is okay to let him know. Just remember, it is always best to try and keep the conversation calm. 

Let him know that you are hurt that you expressed your desire to celebrate Valentine’s Day with gifts and he didn’t follow through. 

This simple statement should open the door to a discussion on his actions and ways that you can solve it in the future. Alternatively, it could lead to you realizing you aren’t valued enough and ending the relationship. 

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Author: Matt Seymour, MSF

Matthew J. Seymour is a dating industry expert with over a decade of experience coaching singles, reviewing dating apps, and analyzing trends within the industry. Matt is a published author with his most recent work “Get More Dates: How to Master Online Dating Apps” that hit shelves in 2023. With a Masters of Science in Finance (MSF) degree from the University of Florida and extensive knowledge of the innerworkings of the online dating industry, Matt frequently serves in an advisory role to some of the largest dating apps on the market. In Matt’s current role with Healthy Framework, he leads the interview team that regularly interviews key dating industry leaders, and leverages his financial knowledge and dating app experience to review and share what singles need to know to get the most out of dating online.